ICLW- Baby Photo Included

When I signed up to do ICLW this month, I had no idea how my world was going to change!

After almost 13 years of infertility, loss, and heartache, our little miracle was placed in our arms on Monday.

He's perfect in every way.

I don't think I'll ever understand why we had to endure it all, but I know now it was worth it.

I'm not sure I'll ever "get over" being infertile, but having this little man smile up at me makes my heart full once again. 

I'm not even sure what to write here for ICLW. 

Instead, I will share one photo that simply takes my breath away.

August ICLW

It's been a few weeks since my last post... it's been crazy with the end of summer and the start of the new school year.  I promise updates are coming. 

For those of you here for ICLW, welcome! 

We've had a long road and are hoping to start our family through the miracle of open adoption.  You can learn more about our journey by clicking on the timeline tab above.

Looking forward to reading and commenting this week!  Hope you are all enjoying the last moments of summer and the start of a new school year.  :)

July ICLW

I was not a good June ILCW girl.  I promise to make it up this month.  Last month we were at the Olympic Swimming Trials, so we were just a tad busy.  This time I am home and DH is crazy busy with swimming- this time closer to home.  I should have plenty of time to read and comment this time! :)

For those of you new here, Dh and I are infertility veterans... we've been at this for more than 12 years.  We've been through the motions of treatment- even at the best clinic in the country.  I'm a PCOS gal, but that is under control.  We're in the unexplained category officially.  For some unknown reason, my body decided to figure out how to get pregnant on its own in the last two years but can't seem to figure out holding onto to a pregnancy past 10 weeks.  We've had three miscarriages in the past 18 months.  You can see the nitty gritty on the timeline tab above.  We've closed the pregnancy chapter of our lives and are very excited about building our family through domestic infant adoption.

We are homestudy approved and waiting to be matched.  We've been an  active waiting family for just over 9 months or so.  We are using an attorney and are doing our own marketing.  It's been an adventure and we're learning as we go.  We've recently created a youtube video and started working with adoptimist.com 

I am a middle school teacher- but recently took a new position as a technology integration specialist for our middle school and elementary school.  I am very excited about this new position and the challenges it brings.  DH is a swim coach and we are VERY excited about the Olympics.  Chris actually coached one of the swimmers when he was in high school! 

I have a little card making venture that helps to offest our adoption marketing costs.  You can see my creations in the side bar or by clicking here.  I am a creative soul and my creative endeavors have kept me sane during our adventures with infertility. 


That's the cliff note version of my life...

Looking forward to ICLW this week!

June ILCW

Welcome to June ICLW!

If you are new to my blog, you can see our history by looking at the timeline tab above.  The cliff notes version- We've been at this a long time.  We've had several IVF's fail, even at the best clinics.  While I have been diagnosed with PCOS, it is under control with metformin and diet.  We've recently added RPL to our list of diagnosis as we've experienced three miscarriages in the last 18 months, most recently in February.

We are currently actively hoping to adopt.  We are homestudy approved and working with an attorney here in Illinois.  We've had a few situations come our way, but have yet to be chosen by an expectant mother.  We're very hopeful that we will start our family through domestic open adoption.

I'm also a middle school special education teacher who will finally be done with summer school tomorrow.  My husband is a swim coach, and we have two swimmers who will be swimming at the Olympic Trials next week.  Looking forward to reading blogs and commenting in our down time in Omaha.  It should be an exciting week for sure.

Hope you are all enjoying the first days of official summer!

March ICLW

Just a quick post for the start of the March ICLW. 

It's a crazy week leading up to Spring Break.  One of my middle school students actually locked himself inside his locker yesterday.  So, let's just say that things at work are keeping me busy!

Hoping to make a longer post later in the week.  For those of you new to my blog, you can click on the timeline above to see our long history.

Hoping to get some time to read and comment later this evening.  Hope you are all having a wonderful day!

November ICLW

Welcome to my little piece of the blogosphere. 

We are officially a "waiting family" in our journey to become parents through domestic adoption.  We've been on this long winding path to parenthood for more than a decade.  We've had some serious heartbreak and can't even begin to tell you our entire bumpy road here in a single post.  If you are new here, you can see our timeline above and get the down and dirty 411. 

We are hopeful once again that we WILL become parents through the gift of adoption.  The upcoming holidays are tough ones for us as they are loaded with loss anniversaries as well as the burden of yet another year passing us by. 

I am a teacher by day, and have an especially challenging student this year.  It's made for some added stress this fall that I am not really happy about.  My husband is a swim coach and we are very close to several of our swim families.  They are more like family to us than those who we are actually blood related to. 

I have a creative side that feeds my soul, and also is helping support our adoption fund.  You can check out my etsy shop at www.virtue75.etsy.com.  It makes me happy to create, and hopefully we can help offset the high cost of adoption as well.  We depleted all of our savings with a last ditch IVF that was *almost* a success. 

I have only a two day work week- so hopefully I will be able to post more this week and get to know some new bloggers too.  I am forever grateful for Mel and the entire ALI blogging community for the support over the past several years.  I don't think I would have kept my sanity if I didn't have this amazing outlet and kind words from those who read my rambilings.

Hoping you all have a wonderful day!

September ICLW

It's been a few months since I participated in ICLW.  For those of you new to my blog, welcome!

I'm a teacher and an artist living in the Chicago suburbs with my spoiled lab and my swim coach husband.  Our infertility story is long but here is the nitty gritty in bullet points: 

• Started TTC in 2000
• PCOS
• 4 IVFs- and 3 FETs
• Considered "unexplained" infertility by even the top experts
• 2 miscarriages in the last year, one a "surprise" pregnancy, the other a last chance IVF at CC.RM
• We're done with Treatment (for now)
• Homestudy approved for Domestic Infant Adoption 
• Weighing our many options for marketing and agencies
• Trying to gather resources for adoption after depleting most of our savings for our final IVF.
• Hopeful that we WILL become parents through the miracle of open adoption

It's my blogoversary in a few days, so I am hoping to do a give away.  I always have ideas for posts swirling in my head, so I am hopeful that ICLW will give me the prompting to get posts actually published and out here. 

I'm always looking for adoption blogs to follow.  Please leave me a comment if you have one, or know of one that you think I should check out.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

May ICLW

Welcome to all of you who are visiting for ICLW (and my regular readers, too!)

If this is your first time here, you can see our basic story by clicking on the timeline tab above.  We've been at this for more than a decade now, and are really hopeful that we will finally welcome home a baby through a domestic infant adoption.  We are homestudy approved, and are working to get our marketing materials together.  We're doing things on our own, as I am a bit of a control freak. 

Most recently we've had a surprise pregnancy and miscarriage last week.  We're still trying to figure it all out.  There was some concern that it was an ectopic pregnancy initially, but we are pretty sure we are in the clear.  My levels are dropping, and I am hopeful for a nice low number when I go in for labs on Monday.  We'd like to move forward, and feel that we need to get to an official beta of zero before doing that. 

I'm a middle school special education teacher and this is our last week of school.  It's been a busy few weeks and it will be nuts until the end.  While I am excited for the end of the school year, I am honestly a little sad to see this group of students move on.  I've grown quite attached to them.  My husband is a swim coach and his season is just starting up as my year winds down. 

Looking forward to getting to "meet" some new bloggers this week! 

April ICLW

Welcome April ICLW!

If this is your first time stumbling on my blog, you can get the cliff notes version by taking a gander at  our timeline tab above.  The really short version:  We've battled infertility close to 11 years and have endured just about every treatment only to end up with empty arms.  We're in the process of completing our adoption homestudy.  We are hoping to become a family through a domestic infant adoption.

I am also a teacher and a tech nerd who loves papercrafts.  I have a spoiled rotten yellow lab and senile old cat.  Dh and I are high school sweethearts who will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary in a few months. 

Looking forward to reading and commenting this month!  Welcome!

Homestudy Visit #3 Complete

Welcome to those of you here for ICLW.  You can find our "story" in the timeline above.  We are currently in the process of completing our homestudy for a domestic infant adoption after 10 years of infertility treatments.  

We've now finished three of our homestudy visits.  We're almost through the process!

Today was my interview with the social worker, and it went well. Chris was also home so he kept the beast (aka Romeo the Lab) with him downstairs and the SW and I talked up in my studio.  It was nice to be in my "happy place" while we talked about my childhood and family relationships.  I was really worried about how my current extended family situation would be perceived, but she was very kind about it and agreed that it sounded like it was the best for all involved.  What a relief! 

It was nice to talk about Chris and our marriage.  It's hard to put 15 years of marriage into words, but I think I was able to express it well enough.  It's hard to talk about your strengths and weaknesses, but I think I did ok there too!  :)  I actually got a better feeling for the SW after our visit today.

We turned in our physicals, water testing, and reference letters today, as well as a boatload of other paperwork.  We still need to get Chris' work letter as well as the guardianship agreement figured out.  I still think it's strange that we have to ask someone to be a guardian of a not yet adopted child.  We have an idea of who we would like to ask so we plan to have that conversation with them soon.  The only other paperwork we need to deal with is the letters of health for the pets.  Having a hard time with that one- since two of our animals are aging and not in great health.  We need to make some tough decisions in the coming months for the two of them, and I am just not ready to do that yet. 

We have one more meeting with the social worker and need to complete the 10 hours of education before then.  I forgot to ask her if the books I've read count. They aren't on the list of books she gave us, but the list was pretty dated!  We are planning to take a few online courses to fulfill the requirement. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glad to have the extra day this weekend.  Chris had an exciting week with coaching.  His high school team won the sectional title, and 14 boys will be heading to the state meet this Friday.  Chris was also named Sectional Coach of the Year.  I'm pretty proud!  :) I've taken a personal day on Friday so that I can attend the state meet with the team.  It should be another exciting weekend!

I have a ton of work to do for school.  Now that the visit is done, I MUST work on it!  Hope you all had a wonderful day!

January ICLW

Welcome to my little piece of the virtual world.

For those of you here for the first time, you can see our general story by looking at our timeline tab above.  We've endured 10 years of infertility and most recently suffered a miscarriage after a miracle BFP from our final FET at CC.RM.  We've now decided to head down the domestic adoption path and are in the process of completing our homestudy.  We're about half way through the process right now and hoping to be certified by Spring Break.

I am spending tonight and tomorrow morning at the swim meet my husband's swim team is hosting.  Hoping to have some down time while there to read and comment, otherwise I will be catching up on Sunday.  We're also diehard Chicago Bears fans here, so things are a little tense leading up to Sunday's game.  We live on the IL/WI border and let's just say that the ONLY topic of conversation these days is who will win on Sunday! 

I am a special education teacher whose heart wishes I could find a way to pay the bills with my creative talents, but for now it is just a hobby.  I do love my job and have a great group of students this year.  Most of our time is spent with other people's children which can be a mixed blessing.  We really hope that we will be able to give our talents to our own child in the very near future.

I hope you are all having a wonderful day!

December ICLW

Today is the first day of December's ICLW.  Welcome if you are coming to my blog for the first time.

Our story is long and involved.  You can find the cliff notes version on the top tab marked timeline.  You can also see my previous ICLW welcome posts here, here, and here too. The really short version is that we've been trying to have a baby for more than 10 years.  We got really close this fall, but sadly had an early miscarriage in October after an FET from our 4th IVF cycle.

We are moving on to adoption at this point and have our first home study visit on January 4th.  My heart still yearns to cycle one more time, but DH is not on board with that plan right now.  Our hearts have always been pulled to adoption, and we also have a failed adoption in our past.  We are looking forward to finally having our "missing piece" through the miracle of adoption.

I am also a teacher and am still in school until Wednesday. It's a little crazy at a middle school in the days before winter break, so I may not be able to post as much as I had hoped to.  I am also a creative nerd and am working to finish a few last minute Christmas gifts.  I plan to share photos of my creations after they have been given as gifts.

Enough rambling for now... Happy ICLW!

November ICLW

Welcome to my little piece of the blogosphere.

Our story is long and treacherous, but we are hopeful we will someday find our missing piece. We've recently started down the path of domestic adoption after more than 10 years of infertility. After 4 fresh IVF cycles and 3 FETs, we finally got our positive only to miscarry at 5w4d last month. We're still healing and will finally have our WTF appointment with our RE on Tuesday. We are hoping to get some closure or at least some answers with this appointment.

We've also been dealing with repairs to our home from a storm in June. We are hoping that everything will be done this week. It's been a long process, but we've improved our home and are excited to put in all of the finishing touches. I am a creative person and have been without my studio for the last 5 months. I am just moving back in this weekend and excited to have my space back.

I am so grateful for the blogging community. It's been a tough year, and I have made some close "virtual" friends through it all. Knowing that I am not alone has allowed me to get through some of the toughest days.

I love comments and try hard to return the blog love.

Thanks for stopping by!

October ICLW

Welcome October ICLW!

Just a quick post this morning. :)

I am an infertility "veteran" and have been searching for our missing piece for more than 10 years. We're officially diagnosed with PCOS, but our IVF failures have all fallen in the unexplained category. We've recently completed our 3rd FET of a CGH normal embyro at CC.RM. We were thrilled when we had a positive beta, and great numbers for the first three labs. Sadly, I miscarried two weeks ago today. We are heartbroken, and now trying to decide where to go from here. We had planned to move on from treatment after this cycle, but the positive and subsequent miscarriage are a game changer.

That's the cliff notes as to who we are. You can see our history in the side bar and feel free to read awhile. But I do caution those of you just starting on this journey... our road has been long and treacherous. We are not the norm when it comes to anything....

Thanks for stopping by!

WELCOME JUNE ICLW

It's already been a month since my first ICLW.  Welcome to those of you who have found my blog through the ICLW.  I thought I would just do a quick post this morning to give those of you new to my blog the "cliff's notes" version. 

1. DH & I have officially been TTC our first child for a decade, yep, 10 years tomorrow.
2. DH & I will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary tomorrow.
3. We've done just about every ART out there, including 4 IVFs.
4. We are currently working with Dr. School.craft at CC.RM.
5. While it appears I don't have endo, I do have PCOS and the missing Beta-3 Integrin Protein
6. Our IVF failures are in the "unexplained" category because the above issues have been treated.
7. We had one independent adoption fail when the birth mother decided to parent.  We were devastated, but supported her decision 110%. We just wish she would have communicated her decision to us.
8. I am currently on Dep.ot Lu.pron to treat the missing Beta-3, with the intention of doing our final FET in September.  We have one CGH normal embryo and one no result left on ice on Denver that we will be using.
9. I am a middle school special education teacher who is VERY happy to be on summer break right now!  DH is a swim coach whose season is in full swing.
10. I am a crafty girl and love scrapbooking and papercrafts.  I also dabble in photography and writing.  

So that's the quick version.  You can see a more detailed history on the sidebar.  We are currently dealing with the clean up from a storm last Friday that sadly damaged my studio and a few of my most recent scrapbooks were ruined.  We are still waiting for the insurance adjuster to come out so that we can start repairs on our roof.  We've been told he will be here on Friday, since this storm did so much damage, he is busy all week with people who are worse off than we are.  That just reminds me of how much worse it really could have been!

Glad to have you here, and looking forward to reading & leaving comments this week!

ICLW

Welcome to those who are finding my blog through icomleavwe!  This is my first time participating, and I am excited to be a part of this project.  I truly value the virtual community that blogging has given those of us walking the infertility journey.

I am a simple girl who married my high school sweetheart.  We adore children and dream of having a child of our own.  I have PCOS, which is our only official diagnosis.  We've done 4 IVFs and 2 FETs with our last cycle at CCRM.  We have stumped every RE who has ever treated us.  We are planning to do our final FET late this summer after I do two months of Dep.ot Lu.pron.  Our only other diagnosis has been "unlucky."  We seem to ALWAYS fall on the wrong side of the statistics. Please see the side bar that gives the abbreviated version of our infertility journey so far.

For those of you who are starting infertility treatment, please read my blog with caution.  I am NOT a best case scenario, and have been in the trenches for almost a decade.  While I started this blog as a way for me to process my own thoughts and be able to reflect on each step of our infertility treatment, I also hope that others can learn from my mistakes and experiences.  There are things I would do differently if I had them to do over, but I did what I thought was best at the time.

I am also an avid paper crafter and enjoy making cards and scrapbooking.  I am working on my photography skills and am trying to love running as much as my husband does.  I teach middle school and my husband is a swim coach.  We are blessed with many amazing friends.

Those are a few pieces of the puzzle.  :)