LIVID!!!

Just got home from what WILL be my last set of labs for the Miscarriage of the Summer.

Asked for them to finally run the APA and Clotting Panel as well.  Local RE has refused to do so until my HCG was negative.  CC.RM told me that it could have been run two weeks ago when I was at 4- but this yahoo wanted to wait until it as less than 2.  Asked for them to just draw the vials today- since they charge me an office visit AND venipuncture every.single.time I walk in the door. 

Tech had no idea what to draw so asked Dr Local Moron.  He told her that he WOULD NOT RUN IT FOR ME and that I had to go to a hematologist or my GP.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  All summer I was told that as soon as I got to negative he would do it.  Now, three months later he is saying he WON'T DO IT?????!!!!

Now that I've cried angry tears the car ride home, I think the bottom line is that HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO RUN!  That I am beyond his expertise and he just didn't know what tests to do- even though I copied EXACTLY what my CC.RM nurse told me.

On top of it all, I think my favorite nurse has left the practice.  She has been there since I started with them a decade ago, and I haven't seen her in the last month.  She was ALWAYS there, so that makes me think she quit.  She was amazing and kind.  Guessing that dealing with Dr Moron finally got the best of her! 

To be fair, this is the associate of the main RE at the clinic.  I got pushed off to him at the start and have had nothing but issues since.  He has tried to push me off on an Ob/Gyn since the start.  Trying to keep my level head because if we are ever fortunate to try again at CC.RM I need to use this clinic for local monitoring.  Even if they charge me an extra non billable $40 every.single.time I walk in the office with orders from CC.RM.

So I will send an email to my beloved CC.RM nurse who will write me orders for the tests.  Just means I'll have to make an appointment at the hospital to have them done.  I don't have time for that right now.  Only one week until we leave for Cali, and then school starts the day after we get home.  Summer is over for me.

Ok rant over for now.  Please GOD let my levels finally be NEGATIVE!!!

The $1,000 vent

Nope, that's not the cost of anything fun.

It's the estimated cost to repair my car- the car that just reached 100,000 miles and the end of the warranty two weeks ago.  Yep, we really are lucky!  If only we had taken it in when I first mentioned the issue to Chris.  Trying REALLY hard not to dwell on that...

I am frustrated as you can imagine.  I know this is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  But $1,000 is a great deal of money when you have spent your savings on an IVF.  And we still are getting bills for my labs during the miscarriage.  Good times all around. And let's just remember that it's December which means the holidays and the expenses that come with that. 

I am finding myself really having a hard time being positive lately.  Not only am I still trying to cope with the miscarriage and Christmas, but now I have to deal with the additional financial strain getting my car fixed will cost.  Chris and I work opposite shifts, but not opposite enough that we can live with one car.  I was able to get a ride to and from school today from friends, but that won't work in the long run.  It's amazing how dependent we are on having a car.  I feel like a prisoner in my house tonight. 

A middle school in December is also tons of fun.  The kids are crazy.  The staff are counting the days.  This year we have school until December 22nd.  It's going to be a LONG 14 days of school!  I've had to refer two kids to the office in the past week, which is more than I have done for the rest of the year!  I know my heart just isn't 100% into being the best teacher right now, and that stresses me out even more.  I hate not being the top of my game.  But I just don't have a choice.  My heart is still healing, and it seems to have a setback about every other day. 

So I am rambling here.  Frustrated that the universe is screwing us once again.  Can't we just catch a break for once?  I mean, shouldn't I at least be able to purchase some nice gifts to mask the pain of being child free once again this Christmas?  Can't the universe cut me some slack?  Pretty please?