It's been a crazy few weeks. Even though March is the month of my birth, it is probably my least favorite month of the year. Life is crazy for both Chris and I with work and the weather in Chicago is miserable in March. I am thrilled that the month is almost over and that Chris and I are leaving the miserable Chicago weather behind for a few days!
Chris' Winter swim season finally ended just before my birthday. He had to deal with the wrap up of the season and prepare for the upcoming Spring/Summer season. There's always some parent drama and that finally seems to be settling down. Schedules and such are set for the upcoming season and he'll start practice and try-outs the Monday after we return from our trip.
I had to deal with the state testing and then staffing issues for next year at school. That seems to be finally settled, but we will be losing one of our secretaries due to the closing of another school in our district. It's so sad to see good people lose their jobs due to the financial situation of our state and schools. We fortunately are not facing any teacher lay-offs this year as we took the brunt of it last year. I will have to move classrooms after 10 years in the same room. Not going to think about that until we get back from our trip.
I am also the yearbook sponsor. I've done the yearbook for 9 years now. Every year I swear is the last, but I am suckered into it the next year without fail. It has consumed all of my free time for the past two weeks. I submitted the final pages on Friday, so that is off my plate for now.
Losing my sweet Patches has been hard. I keep thinking I am going to see her come around the corner, or find her sleeping in her bed. Romeo seems to be adjusting to being the king of the house, but the cat is definitely having some issues. The cat is 15 years old too, so I know his time with us is limited too. His health is not great, either.
We've not had much time to focus on the adoption over the past month. Planning to schedule our final interview for April and get our final pieces of paperwork done and sent in to the state. We also need to get things set up with the attorney so we can get our 800 number and start getting that out to people. I know that Chris and I will have some time to talk about things during our trip.
The trip.... we debated about spending the money to take a vacation, but knew that we needed to get away to rejuvenate our souls after the past year. With all of the loss and stress on our marriage, we knew we needed to invest some time into our relationship. We dreamed of recreating our dream vacation from last year, but that wasn't realistic. So, we are heading to Aruba! We were able to use Marriott points that we earned from all of our stays in Denver and swim meets. We're flying using upgrades from our flights to Denver. At least our trips to CC.RM are paying off in some ways!
We also got a random check in the mail yesterday from CC.RM. There was no letter, no stub- just a check with refund written in the memo. So now we have some extra vacation spending money from CC.RM too!
Hoping you all have a wonderful week. I'll soak up some rays for those of you stuck in the cold. :)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
On the Eve of my 36th Birthday...
I haven't run since Saturday. Life just keeps getting in the way! Today would have been a perfect day to get outside, but I had to get a few things done tonight. I am also coming down with a cold... I can feel it. Just in time for my birthday.
Speaking of the birthday. Dealing with the approaching 36 much better than I did 35 last year. Last year I was crossing over to the "advanced maternal age" category. This year I am in the "no maternal age" category. Embracing the fact that we are once again "young" when it comes to the average person who is adopting. However, birthdays (and other holidays) also mark the passing of time. It's a sad reminder that life does go on after infertility and miscarriage. Life keeps moving if we want it to or not.
Looking back at my 35th year is bittersweet- ok, mostly bitter with a little sweet thrown in. We've experience two great losses this year with the miscarriage and losing our dear Patches last week. We had the extensive storm damage to our home and we've parted ways with family. But there is a sweet side. We've done extensive repairs to our home and the outside looks completely different. We've paid off almost all of the extra work we had done, too. We took an amazing trip to St. Lucia and Chris experienced great success in his career.
We are happy. Chris and I are closer and our marriage is strong. We've almost finished our homestudy and are moving forward with our plans to adopt. Hoping that this is my last birthday without the title of mom, but I am not going to say that outloud. (I guess I kinda just did...) Because when the end of year 36 rolls around, I'll be sad that another year has passed.
I leave you with a photo of Chris and I one year ago. The benefit of a St Patrick's Day birthday is that there is always a party for your birthday!
Speaking of the birthday. Dealing with the approaching 36 much better than I did 35 last year. Last year I was crossing over to the "advanced maternal age" category. This year I am in the "no maternal age" category. Embracing the fact that we are once again "young" when it comes to the average person who is adopting. However, birthdays (and other holidays) also mark the passing of time. It's a sad reminder that life does go on after infertility and miscarriage. Life keeps moving if we want it to or not.
Looking back at my 35th year is bittersweet- ok, mostly bitter with a little sweet thrown in. We've experience two great losses this year with the miscarriage and losing our dear Patches last week. We had the extensive storm damage to our home and we've parted ways with family. But there is a sweet side. We've done extensive repairs to our home and the outside looks completely different. We've paid off almost all of the extra work we had done, too. We took an amazing trip to St. Lucia and Chris experienced great success in his career.
We are happy. Chris and I are closer and our marriage is strong. We've almost finished our homestudy and are moving forward with our plans to adopt. Hoping that this is my last birthday without the title of mom, but I am not going to say that outloud. (I guess I kinda just did...) Because when the end of year 36 rolls around, I'll be sad that another year has passed.
I leave you with a photo of Chris and I one year ago. The benefit of a St Patrick's Day birthday is that there is always a party for your birthday!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Quick Run Update
Just a quick run update. I'm downtown for a date night with Chris and he is still at the swim meet. Took advantage of the fitness center at the hotel. :)
Week 3 Day 3
1.55 miles (ran at a 12:00 min pace!)
Treadmill at hotel
It didn't sync to Nike+, but I found a work around for that once I am back home. I am over 100 miles total though! :)
Looking forward to dinner at the Melting Pot. Looks like I'll be consuming many more calories than I just burned!
Week 3 Day 3
1.55 miles (ran at a 12:00 min pace!)
Treadmill at hotel
It didn't sync to Nike+, but I found a work around for that once I am back home. I am over 100 miles total though! :)
Looking forward to dinner at the Melting Pot. Looks like I'll be consuming many more calories than I just burned!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
State Testing DONE!
The ridiculous state testing is DONE for the year! We've had two tests a day which has consumed at least half of the day for the past three days. So very glad that we are done and now I can teach the kids what they really need to do in LIFE not just for the state assessment. This is the time of year that I remember why I teach!
I ran again tonight after school inside. Hoping to try running outside for the first time on Saturday morning. We'll see if the weather cooperates. Today's Stats:
Week 3, Day 2
1.06 miles (had to cut cool down short)
Hallways at school
I did attempt to walk Romeo when I got home. We only made it around the block, and he almost killed me. Ok, not really, but it was hard. He is used to running more with Chris and I can't run with him. He is close to 100 lbs, so when he wants to run, it's hard to contain! We don't walk him on a leash as much as we should. I am going to make it my goal to train him over the spring and summer so we can both get the exercise. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable running with him- he's too big for me! If anyone has tips for training a giant beast to walk on a leash, I am all ears!
Trying to embrace life with one dog, but I do miss my sweet Patches so very much. Chris cleaned house today (I am so very lucky!) and cleaned up her bowl. It made me cry seeing it in the sink and not where it is "supposed" to be. We have her collar in the living room too, and I find myself tearing up when I see it. I know she is at peace and she had a good life. It's just hard to not have her be a part of our life. She's been here since before our wedding day and has been part of every aspect of our lives since.
We did decide to take another vacation over Spring Break. Now that we have just one easy going Lab, we can have someone come and care for him easily. We've banked Marriott points from swim team meets and also from all of our trips to CC.RM over the past 18 months. So, we're cashing them in and heading to Aruba for five days over spring break! It'll be nice to have some time away to reconnect and really get our heads together. Really hoping this will be our last trip for a LONG time as we become parents.
One more day of work this week! Hoping to return to somewhat of a routine with the kids tomorrow and keep us all focused until spring break!
I ran again tonight after school inside. Hoping to try running outside for the first time on Saturday morning. We'll see if the weather cooperates. Today's Stats:
Week 3, Day 2
1.06 miles (had to cut cool down short)
Hallways at school
I did attempt to walk Romeo when I got home. We only made it around the block, and he almost killed me. Ok, not really, but it was hard. He is used to running more with Chris and I can't run with him. He is close to 100 lbs, so when he wants to run, it's hard to contain! We don't walk him on a leash as much as we should. I am going to make it my goal to train him over the spring and summer so we can both get the exercise. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable running with him- he's too big for me! If anyone has tips for training a giant beast to walk on a leash, I am all ears!
Trying to embrace life with one dog, but I do miss my sweet Patches so very much. Chris cleaned house today (I am so very lucky!) and cleaned up her bowl. It made me cry seeing it in the sink and not where it is "supposed" to be. We have her collar in the living room too, and I find myself tearing up when I see it. I know she is at peace and she had a good life. It's just hard to not have her be a part of our life. She's been here since before our wedding day and has been part of every aspect of our lives since.
We did decide to take another vacation over Spring Break. Now that we have just one easy going Lab, we can have someone come and care for him easily. We've banked Marriott points from swim team meets and also from all of our trips to CC.RM over the past 18 months. So, we're cashing them in and heading to Aruba for five days over spring break! It'll be nice to have some time away to reconnect and really get our heads together. Really hoping this will be our last trip for a LONG time as we become parents.
One more day of work this week! Hoping to return to somewhat of a routine with the kids tomorrow and keep us all focused until spring break!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Random thoughts from a 1 dog house...
Adjusting to life with only one dog. This morning was really tough, and I still keep thinking she'll be coming around the corner at any point. It totally changes my morning routine and tonight is the first time I am home alone without her. She needed lots of attention in the past few months, so it's strange not to worry about getting her outside all night. Romeo seems a little depressed- but I bought him some tennis balls and he is happily shredding one as I type this.
Today was the first day of the mandatory state testing. I HATE this test. My students are required to take the grade level test, even though they are reading 3 grade levels below and have IDENTIFIED DISABILITIES. This is the test that the state bases just about everything on, so the stakes are high and tension is thick. I only had one student in tears today, so I guess I can call it a success. This is also the first time I am giving the tests without an aide, which is VERY tough when you have one in tears and you need to read the test to the rest of the class. (I can read the math test to them, since it is all word problems, but can't read the reading test at all.) It's just a stressful time for these kids. I rant about the test each year, so I won't go into any more detail tonight. :)
Just a quick running update (mostly for myself to keep track!) I haven't run since last Thursday, which is WAY too long between. Now that I am not having to rush home for a sick puppy, I am hoping to be on a more regular schedule.
Week 3 Day 1 (90s run, 90 s walk, 3min run, 3 min walk, x2)
1.26 miles
Hallways at school (oh, how I can't wait to be able to run outside!)
Need to do some housework as I have neglected it since Patches became very ill. I can't bring myself to clean up her bowl, so for now I will just clean around it.
Off to give Romeo some extra attention tonight.
Today was the first day of the mandatory state testing. I HATE this test. My students are required to take the grade level test, even though they are reading 3 grade levels below and have IDENTIFIED DISABILITIES. This is the test that the state bases just about everything on, so the stakes are high and tension is thick. I only had one student in tears today, so I guess I can call it a success. This is also the first time I am giving the tests without an aide, which is VERY tough when you have one in tears and you need to read the test to the rest of the class. (I can read the math test to them, since it is all word problems, but can't read the reading test at all.) It's just a stressful time for these kids. I rant about the test each year, so I won't go into any more detail tonight. :)
Just a quick running update (mostly for myself to keep track!) I haven't run since last Thursday, which is WAY too long between. Now that I am not having to rush home for a sick puppy, I am hoping to be on a more regular schedule.
Week 3 Day 1 (90s run, 90 s walk, 3min run, 3 min walk, x2)
1.26 miles
Hallways at school (oh, how I can't wait to be able to run outside!)
Need to do some housework as I have neglected it since Patches became very ill. I can't bring myself to clean up her bowl, so for now I will just clean around it.
Off to give Romeo some extra attention tonight.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Had to say Goodbye...
We had to say goodbye to our sweet Patches this afternoon. My heart is breaking, but I know she is at peace and no longer in pain. Her health has been iffy for the past year, but the past 24 hours she went downhill quickly. When she refused a cookie yesterday, I knew it was time. (Like her mom, she's never turned down a cookie in her life!)
I had to go into work because the state testing starts tomorrow. I also knew that I couldn't see her hurting. Chris and I both had hoped that she would go in her sleep, and stayed up with her most of last night. She hung on through the night and I was able to say my goodbye this morning before I went into work. Chris is my hero- he cared for her this morning, and then took her to the vet and was with her until the end.
Tonight we are remembering her as the spunky puppy who taught us what it meant to be parents all those years ago. I am sad that she will not be in the lives of our children, but I am hoping she is in heaven playing with our babies.
Hug your furry children a little tighter tonight and say a little prayer for my sweet Patches.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
What a week!
Oh my bloggy friends, I have neglected you this week. It's been a crazy week since I last posted. This post might be a hot rambling mess, so be forewarned! :)
Chris' boys had a ROCK STAR State Meet. The team ended up 14th overall- the highest in school history. Individually, several kids did very well. Our diver ended up 7th overall, and our 500 swimmer ended up 6th. Several other boys ended up in the top 12, as did one of our relays. So very proud of Chris and the team. I am so very thankful that I had the opportunity to be there with him. I spent lots of quality time with one of my most favorite swim families, so it was a great weekend all around!
Chris is happy high school season is over, which means he is only at the pool for 5 hours instead of close to 8 every day. He is at the club's Senior State Meet this weekend, and the kids are really doing well there, too. One more weekend and he will be on a break until after my Spring Break.
Things are crazy busy with school for me right now. Lots of stuff due on March 1st including trimester grades and purchase orders for the remainder of the school year. Kids have spring fever big time (ok, so do teachers) and we have the dreaded state testing next week. I just might be counting the days until Spring Break!
Chris got his coaching check and we also got our tax refund. We are trying to find a way to get away to some sun for a few days over Spring Break. For a short time, it looked like we might be able to sneak away to St Lucia again for a short time, but flights were crazy expensive by the time we decided. I spent way too many hours online researching places for us to go and we still haven't made up our mind. I am torn about spending the money to go on vacation right now, but in my heart I know that Chris and I both need some time to reconnect and relax after everything we've been through since September. Chris is supposed to be looking at options during his down time at the meet, but I am not sure how much of that he is doing.
I've also run twice since I last blogged. The runs were spread out due to the craziness, but I did them! So I've done Week 2 days 2 & 3
1.36 miles
Ran halls of school
Hoping I'll be able to run outside tomorrow sometime. It's cold and snowy, so it isn't looking good. Otherwise I'll have to run on Monday. Week 3 gets even tougher! The race is now 1 month and 5 days away. YIKES!
And then there was the third strike... or + sign depending on how you look at it I guess. A third coworker came "out" to me after school on Friday. She's pregnant and due on the SAME DAY as coworker #1. I saw this coming as my sixth sense had already kicked in. It was an interesting conversation that I am still processing and I have the start of a blog post swirling around in my head. So, look for more on that later. This is her second child and I knew this was going to start happening... I'm being lapped by the "second round" of coworkers now...
I was pretty angry/sad/anxious when I got home from work on Friday. I am thrilled for this friend and our conversation was sweet, but it still stung. I tried to express my feelings to Chris, and he just doesn't see a connection between other people's pregnancies and our infertility. I've come to respect his opinion on it, but it doesn't help me when I go to the dark place sometimes infertiles go to. He's out of town at the meet all weekend, so my weekend was wide open to do whatever I wanted. I had thoughts of drinking multiple bottles of wine, but then I realized that I could DO SOMETHING with my anger/sadness/anxiety.
So, I remembered that there was an adoption conference being held by a local organization today. I had dismissed it, because I knew Chris was going to be at the state meet. I checked the website and found that they were in fact accepting walk in registrations. So... after some gentle shoves from my good friend Mandy, I decided to go. It was SO far out of my comfort zone and my anxiety levels were high most of the day, but I did it. I drove 90 minutes each way and attended a conference all by myself. I'm not going to go into deep detail about the conference in this post because I have lots to say about it and it deserves its own post. However, I am going to say that I am pretty proud of myself for taking this big step and I even talked to the attorney we worked with back in 2007 and got some information and will be calling her to set up some services with her.
I have school work and housework to keep me busy for the next 24 hours until Chris gets home. I also plan to go through some of the handouts from the conference tonight and try to process it all a little more while it is fresh in my brain. :)
Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend!
Chris' boys had a ROCK STAR State Meet. The team ended up 14th overall- the highest in school history. Individually, several kids did very well. Our diver ended up 7th overall, and our 500 swimmer ended up 6th. Several other boys ended up in the top 12, as did one of our relays. So very proud of Chris and the team. I am so very thankful that I had the opportunity to be there with him. I spent lots of quality time with one of my most favorite swim families, so it was a great weekend all around!
Chris is happy high school season is over, which means he is only at the pool for 5 hours instead of close to 8 every day. He is at the club's Senior State Meet this weekend, and the kids are really doing well there, too. One more weekend and he will be on a break until after my Spring Break.
Things are crazy busy with school for me right now. Lots of stuff due on March 1st including trimester grades and purchase orders for the remainder of the school year. Kids have spring fever big time (ok, so do teachers) and we have the dreaded state testing next week. I just might be counting the days until Spring Break!
Chris got his coaching check and we also got our tax refund. We are trying to find a way to get away to some sun for a few days over Spring Break. For a short time, it looked like we might be able to sneak away to St Lucia again for a short time, but flights were crazy expensive by the time we decided. I spent way too many hours online researching places for us to go and we still haven't made up our mind. I am torn about spending the money to go on vacation right now, but in my heart I know that Chris and I both need some time to reconnect and relax after everything we've been through since September. Chris is supposed to be looking at options during his down time at the meet, but I am not sure how much of that he is doing.
I've also run twice since I last blogged. The runs were spread out due to the craziness, but I did them! So I've done Week 2 days 2 & 3
1.36 miles
Ran halls of school
Hoping I'll be able to run outside tomorrow sometime. It's cold and snowy, so it isn't looking good. Otherwise I'll have to run on Monday. Week 3 gets even tougher! The race is now 1 month and 5 days away. YIKES!
And then there was the third strike... or + sign depending on how you look at it I guess. A third coworker came "out" to me after school on Friday. She's pregnant and due on the SAME DAY as coworker #1. I saw this coming as my sixth sense had already kicked in. It was an interesting conversation that I am still processing and I have the start of a blog post swirling around in my head. So, look for more on that later. This is her second child and I knew this was going to start happening... I'm being lapped by the "second round" of coworkers now...
I was pretty angry/sad/anxious when I got home from work on Friday. I am thrilled for this friend and our conversation was sweet, but it still stung. I tried to express my feelings to Chris, and he just doesn't see a connection between other people's pregnancies and our infertility. I've come to respect his opinion on it, but it doesn't help me when I go to the dark place sometimes infertiles go to. He's out of town at the meet all weekend, so my weekend was wide open to do whatever I wanted. I had thoughts of drinking multiple bottles of wine, but then I realized that I could DO SOMETHING with my anger/sadness/anxiety.
So, I remembered that there was an adoption conference being held by a local organization today. I had dismissed it, because I knew Chris was going to be at the state meet. I checked the website and found that they were in fact accepting walk in registrations. So... after some gentle shoves from my good friend Mandy, I decided to go. It was SO far out of my comfort zone and my anxiety levels were high most of the day, but I did it. I drove 90 minutes each way and attended a conference all by myself. I'm not going to go into deep detail about the conference in this post because I have lots to say about it and it deserves its own post. However, I am going to say that I am pretty proud of myself for taking this big step and I even talked to the attorney we worked with back in 2007 and got some information and will be calling her to set up some services with her.
I have school work and housework to keep me busy for the next 24 hours until Chris gets home. I also plan to go through some of the handouts from the conference tonight and try to process it all a little more while it is fresh in my brain. :)
Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend!
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