Coming to terms

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I might just be a tad depressed. I am hoping that PMS is partially to blame, or at least hormone fluctuations. I seem to get teary several times a day about things. I hope that I will be able to manage this over the next few days and be on my way back "up"

I have to spend all day tomorrow at a meeting/inservice for the special education teachers for the district. REALLY not looking forward to it. These are always intense and I am pretty sure I am going to get my hands slapped about some assessments that I am behind on. With my current emotional state, that might be the recipe for disaster. We'll see.

On a bright note, the siding is ALL DONE! We just need to have one more window replaced and the gutters installed and everything is done. Chris has been working on repairs on the inside as well. I am hopeful that we will have all of the storm related repairs will be done by Thanksgiving. Hopefully I can get my studio put back together by then too. I need to pick a paint color for the wall that goes up the stairs to the studio. I am leaning towards a bold color. I stopped and got some paint samples.

We've filled out most of the adoption application. Chris and I need to fill out a few questions together. I am hoping we can do that tonight. We are still not in "sync" and I feel that he still needs to have his breakdown about all of this. I don't think he has allowed himself to grieve yet, and is just keeping it all bottled up. I think that is why he is so focused on "moving on" because he doesn't want to think about what the last year, and especially the last month has held for us.

With the time change, it is now pitch black by 5:00 every night. That's not helping my mood much, either. I feel like I should be getting ready for bed, and I haven't even started dinner yet! I do love the fact that I am driving to work in the daylight, but know that won't last much longer, either!

I have lots of thoughts swirling in my head for blog posts I want to write and hope to get some of them out soon. My heart is breaking for some of my fellow IF vets who have experienced losses and negatives in the past week. It's just not fair. These women have endured so much and put so much into their cycles. I am thankful for the support of the blogging community and knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.