State Testing DONE!

The ridiculous state testing is DONE for the year!  We've had two tests a day which has consumed at least half of the day for the past three days.  So very glad that we are done and now I can teach the kids what they really need to do in LIFE not just for the state assessment.  This is the time of year that I remember why I teach!

I ran again tonight after school inside.  Hoping to try running outside for the first time on Saturday morning.  We'll see if the weather cooperates.  Today's Stats:

Week 3, Day 2
1.06 miles (had to cut cool down short)
Hallways at school 

I did attempt to walk Romeo when I got home.  We only made it around the block, and he almost killed me.  Ok, not really, but it was hard.  He is used to running more with Chris and I can't run with him.  He is close to 100 lbs, so when he wants to run, it's hard to contain!  We don't walk him on a leash as much as we should.  I am going to make it my goal to train him over the spring and summer so we can both get the exercise.  I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable running with him- he's too big for me!  If anyone has tips for training a giant beast to walk on a leash, I am all ears!

Trying to embrace life with one dog, but I do miss my sweet Patches so very much.  Chris cleaned house today (I am so very lucky!) and cleaned up her bowl.  It made me cry seeing it in the sink and not where it is "supposed" to be.  We have her collar in the living room too, and I find myself tearing up when I see it.  I know she is at peace and she had a good life. It's just hard to not have her be a part of our life.  She's been here since before our wedding day and has been part of every aspect of our lives since. 

We did decide to take another vacation over Spring Break.  Now that we have just one easy going Lab, we can have someone come and care for him easily. We've banked Marriott points from swim team meets and also from all of our trips to CC.RM over the past 18 months.  So, we're cashing them in and heading to Aruba for five days over spring break!  It'll be nice to have some time away to reconnect and really get our heads together.  Really hoping this will be our last trip for a LONG time as we become parents. 

One more day of work this week!  Hoping to return to somewhat of a routine with the kids tomorrow and keep us all focused until spring break!

Random thoughts from a 1 dog house...

Adjusting to life with only one dog.  This morning was really tough, and I still keep thinking she'll be coming around the corner at any point.  It totally changes my morning routine and tonight is the first time I am home alone without her.  She needed lots of attention in the past few months, so it's strange not to worry about getting her outside all night.  Romeo seems a little depressed- but I bought him some tennis balls and he is happily shredding one as I type this. 

Today was the first day of the mandatory state testing.  I HATE this test.  My students are required to take the grade level test, even though they are reading 3 grade levels below and have IDENTIFIED DISABILITIES.  This is the test that the state bases just about everything on, so the stakes are high and tension is thick.  I only had one student in tears today, so I guess I can call it a success.  This is also the first time I am giving the tests without an aide, which is VERY tough when you have one in tears and you need to read the test to the rest of the class.  (I can read the math test to them, since it is all word problems, but can't read the reading test at all.)  It's just a stressful time for these kids.  I rant about the test each year, so I won't go into any more detail tonight.  :)


Just a quick running update (mostly for myself to keep track!)  I haven't run since last Thursday, which is WAY too long between.  Now that I am not having to rush home for a sick puppy, I am hoping to be on a more regular schedule.

Week 3 Day 1 (90s run, 90 s walk, 3min run, 3 min walk, x2)
1.26 miles
Hallways at school (oh, how I can't wait to be able to run outside!)

Need to do some housework as I have neglected it since Patches became very ill.  I can't bring myself to clean up her bowl, so for now I will just clean around it.

Off to give Romeo some extra attention tonight. 

Progress on the House...

After my angry post yesterday, I thought I would follow up with a more positive one.

They finished two sides of the house with the new yellow siding. It sure makes me happy!

Here is the front as it was tonight.... (there is still more to do, like the light and the gutters... and the siding on the second story)

You can see the corner of the GIANT dumpster at the right edge of the photo. Boy, will I be glad when it is GONE! The front door is new as well, and I love the scrolled doorknob we installed.

Here is one of the side of the house. This is the side that took most of the damage from the storm when a chimney that used to live between the two smaller windows came crashing down. It was a non-functional chimney that was probably used to heat the home in years past.


And just to add more things that make me happy...

Here are my two geriatric pets snuggling together. Both of them are not in great health, and I know that we are going to have to make some tough decisions. For now, I am just going to enjoy moments like this one.
And then there is Romeo. I was trying to carry in groceries and he really wanted to play. He pulled this "stick" out of the bushes next to our house. He really thought I was going to play fetch with it. (Please ignore the state of my yard. Construction + Dogs = muddy mess of a yard!)



Chris did talk to the adoption agency today and they are sending out the information packet. It's a small step.

Hope you are all having a good night.

Grateful Monday

I saw this on another blog and thought it was a great idea.  Trying to be positive after a really long, hot day in a classroom without working air conditioning filled with adolescent smelly boys.  Ok, enough of that!

So here are the things I am most grateful for today:

1. My amazing husband who sent me an email that simply said "I love you" in the middle of my work day today.  Just what I needed.
2. Air conditioning that finally kicked in at school, in my car, and at home.  I am NOT a hot weather girl!
3. Romeo's big head that always seems to be looking out the window just as I pull into the driveway.  The amazing unconditional love he gives me as I walk into the door from work.
4. My sweet Patches who is also thrilled to see me each and every day just as she has for the past 14 years.
5. Having found the courage to start seeing a therapist and finding the *right* one.  She's been through IF personally and has helped me get through the past year of hell.
6. Friends who make going to work easier, even in the dog days of May/June when the kids are done!
7. My laptop and the connections it allows me to make with the greater global IF community
8. DVR- Being able to watch mindless guilt free TV at the end of a long day
9. My nurse at CC.RM- She always returns my calls and has time to answer all of my questions.  She has made the whole process of cycling/failing/trying again a little more bearable.
10. My thumb is almost completely healed after an incident with a mandolin slicer.  I can finally type normally again.

So what are you most grateful for today?

Back to the "real" world

I made it through my first day of work without any major meltdowns. There were occasional tears, but never around the kids so I feel like it was a pretty good day. I am so lucky to work with some amazing and supportive people who made sure I knew I was missed. I enjoyed some Portillo's chocolate cake thanks to two of my coworkers.

Now that I am not pregnant and don't have any restrictions, I was able to play with Romeo after school today. He simply LOVES his frisbee. He was cracking me up as I threw the frisbee and he chased it through the snow... all 14 inches of it! He runs with reckless abandon after that red frisbee and gallops back with a sheer joy I don't think I will ever understand. If only my life could be as simple. :)

Struggling with what to do next. Chris and I are far apart on this. I hope that time will give us a chance to make a decision we can both live with. The only way I am still getting up each morning is the hope that it isn't over yet... that there is still hope that I can get pregnant. A little crazy part of me would really like to do another fresh cycle to gather some more embryos before I get too old. That goes against what we agreed to when we started this cycle. And then there is the cost...

I just don't know what my life is supposed to look like right now. For the past 6 months, I have lived with the assumption that we would get pregnant and that was what our life would look like right now. I have 110% to our IVF and let other things in my life slide. I am not feeling very successful in any part of my life right now, since I let everything else slide while we were in treatment. So for now I am taking baby steps. One day at a time is all I can manage.

I am hoping that each day brings less tears and we can start to heal.

Sunday...

My break is over... and the reality is starting to set in. Chris treated me to dinner out tonight, which was VERY nice. I am trying to get everything together so that when then alarm goes off at 5:00 in the morning I am not rushed and can glide into the school day. :) I had high hopes of getting lots done over break, but for the most part I just took a break. It was a much needed break. Lots of days in pajamas and yoga pants. I do feel refreshed and ready to face the world again. There is the little dark cloud in the back of my mind full of all of the stuff I need to get done in the next week. I need to just take it a little at a time. Routine is good for me. It will be GOOD to be back in a normal routine. I know Romeo will be rotten this week as he gets used to me going back to work.

So for now, I sign off. I have high hopes of keeping up with my daily blog entries, but we will see!

Week in My life...

So I was all excited to be starting the Week in my Life project that Ali Edwards is running on her blog. She taught the class at CKU back when I went, but I chose another album track. I always wanted to do it, so when she had it posted on her blog this week I jumped on board. I haven't been taking many photos lately, and I haven't felt very creative. I needed a boost. I know that I NEED to take the creative time- especially when I don't seem to have the time. It keeps me grounded and makes my spirit happy.

So I got my camera all set for Monday so I could capture my day in photos. I charged up the battery and put in the memory card. The memory card acting a little funny at first (wasn't recognized by the camera) but then it was fine. I went on my merry way taking lots of photos. Last night I was just too plain lazy to come upstairs so I didn't "dump" the memory card last night. This morning I was running late, but I remembered to grab my camera and took photos on my drive in and throughout the day just as I did yesterday. I was so proud of myself.

I finished my homework for class tomorrow and decided to dump the photos onto my IMac. Put the card into the card reader....... AND MY MAC FROZE! It has NEVER EVER EVER done that. :( Had to reboot. So I put the card back in and everything appears to be fine.... until I realize that photos are MISSING... like 50 or more photos! Of all of the photos I took yesterday, only SIX made it on my computer. I could scream. From today, there are tons missing too. They aren't even all in order... it is a few here and there. I AM SO MAD! I was so proud of myself and now I don't have the photos I wanted. So what do I do? Do I try again tomorrow? Do I scrap the whole project? Is this a sign that I have too much on my plate right now to even consider this? I really feel that this will be good for me- it will let me see my life from the outside and reflect on what is going on right now.

Ok, whining over. Here are some of my favorites that did make it onto my computer...

These are the books/notes that I should be reading right now


My darling Patches.. whining to go out for the 100th time tonight. She has recently found some spunk and has found her naughty side. While I am happy to see her active, she is making me a little nuts with everything she is getting into. But then I remember that my days with her are numbered... she will be 13 in December!
Then there is this face.... how can you not let him walk all over you? Wait, it's me that he walks all over! Yes, they still have on their 4th of July collars... it's too early for the Halloween ones and by the time I was ready to switch them, I decided to just wait a few more weeks and put them in the Halloween ones.

Ok, I will try again tomorrow. I have a different memory card in the camera now and am charging up the battery. Maybe my camera is finally starting to go wacky... it is an original Digital Rebel from 2002 and I have been drooling over the smaller, more advanced versions... A girl can dream, right?

Off to do some reading... maybe I should have some idea about the content for class tomorrow!

Random Thoughts

The summer seems to be coming to a close and my mind is just a jumble of random thoughts. So you, my faithful blog readers (all three of you!) get to hear them all... :-)

Chris and I just got back from a motorcycle ride. I am actually frustrated by how little we have used it this summer. The time just slipped away! I really do LOVE being on that bike. There is something calming and exhilarating all at the same time about it. My mind wanders and clears as I go from one random thought to another. I am also amazed at the beauty that surrounds us in our local area.

Along the way we saw a beautiful prairie preservation area. Here in the midwest we don't have mountains or the ocean. Many people feel we just have flat land. Seeing this prairie from the back of the motorcycle today was simply breathtaking. I honestly wish I had my camera with me. The sun was setting over it and it seemed that you could see for miles and miles. We don't need mountains here! :-)

We just rode and ended up getting dinner at a little bar in Burlington, Wisconsin. They had Woodchuck hard apple cider on tap. I forgot how much I LOVE cider brews. I don't think I have ever been somewhere that had it on tap. They had a great menu and will eventually brew their own beers there. Chris and I love microbreweries so we can't wait to go back once they are open!

I am starting to think about school starting. I love teaching for many reasons, but one of them is the clean slate each year. What other job to you get to start over each year? I love having my summers off and I know those of you who aren't teachers hate when we say that. Honestly I think we NEED that time off to regroup and prepare for another year of adventure. I am starting my eleventh year of teaching this fall and not one of them has been close to the same. After the turmoil of last year, I am just hoping to have a nice quiet year where I can focus on my students and my own education!

I had my first official class last night... one down and 54 more to go! :-) It was good and the professor is really dynamic. This is the first time she has taught the class and the first time this program has been taught as a hybrid (online and classroom) so there are some kinks that need to be worked out. I know it will work out. I just really want to get something out of this... of course other than the obvious pay raise. I have always been a "nerd" and I am falling right back into that role as a student.

The start of the school year also marks the first year we are starting without my dear friend, Wilson. She passed away suddenly last November and I still think of her all the time. There will be a new teacher in her room this fall and we won't have her humor at the start of the year in services. While I relish the passing of time, it is milestones like this that cause me to pause and reflect. At the end of the last school year we took up a collection to put a headstone on her grave. Her family just didn't find it in themselves to put one there. I haven't been back to the cemetery since her funeral last November. I think I am going to go there in the morning before I go to school.

Chris just took Romeo on a half mile run and then left him here with me while he does another 2 or 3 miles. Romeo paces the entire time he is gone because he wants to be with him. Romeo is getting better about pulling but it is still really hard on Chris to run more than a mile with him. Romeo is whining and I get the pleasure of listening to it until Chris gets back. I don't really like when he runs in the dark, but he is a big boy and I have to trust he will be fine. :-) So for now I have to deal with the neurotic dog.

We haven't watch the finals of the Olympics yet tonight but did watch the prelims that were shown during the day. My heart is breaking for Katie Hoff. She had such high expectations this year and she is struggling for sure. She has three medals, which is an amazing feat, but that is overshadowed by her two fourth place finishes and the fact that she didn't even make the finals in the 800 tonight. She is still really young and has come a LONG way from the 2004 games where she collapsed on the deck. I hope she continues to train and we will see her in the 2012 games. She is only 19 so she has youth on her side. :-)

Enough randomness for tonight... must go deal with neurotic dog.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

So this is what my window box looks like as I type. Chris thinks we have at least 12 inches of snow. Nothing like starting December with a BANG!

Romeo LOVES the snow. He is trying to get me to let him out in it again right now... As Chris was shoveling, he was trying to catch all of the snow in his mouth... What a goof!