No miracle here

Well a miracle was not meant to be... Beta dropped to 1.8 from 14.  Sounds like an early miscarriage or a chemical pregnancy.  Either way it sucks.  I am so freaking angry right now.  When are we ever going to catch a break???????

Neverending saga

Once again it has been some time since I updated this journal.  I suppose a big part of me has been in denial.  We decided to do our final treatment cycle of 2004.  We had two embryos on ice, and decided to attempt an FET.  The protocol is so much easier, and my RE feels that I may be one of the women who does better with an FET than a fresh cycle.  The trauma of the last ER was more than my body could handle in her opinion.

So both of our embryos made it through the thaw and looked great.  We transfered both of them on December 10th.  Our Dr even crossed her fingers and told us this is going to work.  As I was laying there after the procedure, I told DH that if this doesn't work that it just might not be meant to be.  He disagreed.  He has been amazing once again through all of this.  I couldn't be luckier to have an amazing man in my life.

My pregnancy test was scheduled was Sunday Dec 19th.  I was never put into the computer, so the test was not actually run until Monday.  I was prepared for another negative... and of course a positive too.   What I wasn't prepared for was what the nurse told us.

The test was positive... but very low.  My beta came back at 14.  From all of the charts I have looked at online, it really should have been well over 100.  So we didn't get good news, but we don't have bad news either.  I have stayed on the meds and will return this morning for another test.  Today's test will be a big sign to see if this truly is a viable pregnancy or if we will lose another little angel.

I am losing hope quickly. I have taken three HPTs and they have all come back negative.  This all just makes no sense.  Why can't anything ever be easy for us???