More Medication Fun....

We are now two weeks into our wait to get the results of our genetic testing. I wish I could say that it is going quickly. It's not. I hate being in this limbo land of waiting. I have always done best when I can get a plan in place. However, I don't have the necessary information to make a plan at this point. I am making myself crazy with plan A, B, C.... and so forth based on any of the many possible outcomes. I originally was hoping to have some news by the first week in December, but I didn't consider Thanksgiving in there. I just really want to know before Christmas. I *need* to know before Christmas.

I am currently on birth control pills and Letrozale/Femara to treat my missing Beta 3 Integrin Protein. I chose to go with the Femara instead of Depot Lupron due to the horrible side effects I had from Lupron. I was thrilled there was another option. (Of course I am still worried it won't be as effective and I will go back and wonder what if...) Little did I know that this lovely combination has its own lovely side effects... which were not clearly outlined before I made this decision. I have had cramping and bleeding for *18* days... yes 18 days!!!! I am going out of my mind. I feel gross. I am bloated and irritable. I called my nurse last week and was told it was the Birth Control and that it should end in a few days. Called back again today since it seems to be getting worse, and the cramping is really making me miserable. The nurse was more concerned and spoke with the Doctor. She later called me back to tell me that this is very common two weeks into the Letrozale/BCP combo and that is should get better.... in a WEEK or so. ANOTHER WEEK? Are you kidding me? I am on this combo for another 17 days. Please pray that this cramping ends soon or someone close to me might not live to tell about it! :(

Trying so very hard to be hopeful. The holidays are always a hard time for us infertiles. Every year I swear that this will be the last year that we don't have a baby. At least this year we have made some progress. At least we are on a path that could possibly lead us to getting pregnant. I am truly thankful that we made the decision to head to Colorado and pursue this treatment. I am thankful that we were able to swing it financially and that our marriage is honestly in a good place, even with all of this stress. I am thankful that there are doctors and researchers who have made advancements that have given us hope. I am thankful that I have a glimmer of hope... that is probably the biggest thing for me right now.

One week down!

We are one week into our wait to find out the genetic testing results. I've been watching the threads at ivfconnections.com and it seems that most people are getting their results in just about 4 weeks. That means we might just have our news by the beginning of December. I also got a copy of the embryology report this week. Trying hard not to obsess about the details, but I am a little concerned about the quality of our blasts. I am trying not to overanalyze the data, but that is just my nature.

My period also decided to show up nice and early... only 8 days after the retrieval! SO I was finally feeling better from the surgery and the OHSS, and the cramps started. It has been a strange drawn out period, too... just to make things interesting. I am now on birth control pills and Letrozale/Femara to treat my missing Beta 3 Integrin Protein. This is supposed to be a better alternative to the Depot Lupron that I had planned to take. The RE required the NAME BRAND birth control... what's another $50 at this point? :(

We had parent teacher conferences this week so it was a LONG week! I am thankful that I had today off and have nothing really planned for the weekend. I spent the day lounging in bed watching all of the shows from the week from our DVR. I am hoping that by catching up on my rest that I will ward off any of the germs that are lingering around school. I have had both the seasonal flu and the H1N1 vaccine, so I am hoping that will help to keep me healthy. I am just not back to feeling 100% yet, and I am frustrated by that. I have to remember that I have put my body through hell the last month or so, and am now on even more medications. And... I am not 20 something anymore.

Hoping to get some time to get my studio organized... or at least to the point where I can see the top of my desk! I would like to start working on some holiday projects... maybe even my Christmas Cards!

Remembering Wilson

It was two years ago today that we lost a great teacher, coach and friend.  She's been on my mind a great deal this week.  She was always so very supportive of me, and especially concerned about my quest to become a mother.  I have to believe that she is watching over me and my 7 little miracles right now.  :)

Her life was cut way too short.  Please take depression seriously and get help for those around you who are dealing with a severe depression.  Make sure to tell someone today just how much you value their presence in your life.  You just never know when you won't have the chance any more.

Wilson, you are missed...

Big Day!

Today was a big day.  Big news from Denver and my last night of grad school.  For the last week, I have been telling myself that all I need to do is get through today.  And now I am all done!

I ended up doing a presentation connecting different ribbons from my stash to the different classes and how I grew through the program. Very cheesy... but that is what they wanted.  Very simple and finished my notes last night.  Left my Portfolio- all three inches of it to be graded this evening.  We were in three groups to present and then we were done. I am a little annoyed that they didn't do anything for us in terms of a celebration.  I spent $13,000 on this program... couldn't they make some kind of effort to celebrate the fact we finished the program?  The dean was supposed to be there tonight and last minute backed out. Nice, huh?    Oh well. I am done.  My paychecks will increase and I am a better teacher. (And I am $13,000 poorer!)

And then there is our other big news today... Chris heard from the lab this afternoon.  Of our 13 day 3 embyros,  7 made it to blast.  Three were Day 5, and 4 were Day 6.  They are now frozen and have been biopsied to take cells for the genetic testing.  They told Chris that they will be sent out at the end of the week.  That means that we will have our results in 4-6 weeks from then.  I would have loved to have 10 to send, but I will take 7.  We were told that typically half come back normal.  I am hoping to get 4, but we will see.  Now we wait.  I will be doing treatment for my missing Beta-3 Integrin Protein in the mean time.  I am either going to use Letrozale or Depot Lupron.  I need to research it a little more and talk with my nurse about it.  I am torn.  The RE told me that Letrozale was a great alternative since I am so miserable on the Lupron.  But there isn't as much research to support it.  Ugh!  I don't want to have any regrets! 

So now I am dreaming of all of the things I can do with my free time.  I really am not sure what I will do!  I am looking forward to having time in my scrapbook studio again and getting my house put back in order.  I think I am going to enjoy the holidays so much more this year.  I am going to have to find something to keep me busy while we wait for results of our genetic testing for sure!

The tentative plan is to return to Denver the end of January.  Hoping that things fall into place.  Due to the swim season, our only other option is to wait until March.  I think we have waited long enough.

Grad School Final Push

I am so glad that I took today off as well. I was still really sore this morning and spent most of the day on the couch. It also gave me the chance to get most of my grad school portfolio done today. Everything has a first draft and I just need to go over everything one more time. I need to get everything printed and then put into the big binder. I need to come up with a creative presentation for Wednesday night and nothing is striking me yet. Other than that, I am feeling good about grad school. I really can't believe that I will be DONE in two short days! Hard to imagine last August when I started this program. 54 weeks of class... one left to go!

Optamistially hopeful for our blast report on Wednesday. I need to get ahold of the lab and let them know to call Chris not me. I don't want to get the news while I am at school. I've been gone for more than a week and know that things are going to be pretty stressful at work. If the news is not good, I don't want to lose it in front of the kids and if it is good news, I want to share that with Chris. Here's to hoping it is GREAT news!

I have chili cooking on the stove. I am still on a high salt diet so I added some extra garlic salt. Hoping that I won't start craving salt after I am done with this diet! :)

Still Thirteen!

We just got the call from the lab.  We still have 13 embryos.  The embryologist said that they look really good and one is already 12 cells.  Hoping that this trend continues and we have a good number to send off for biopsy later this week.  One more hurdle we've passed!

We got home last night and boy were the puppies glad to see us.  All three animals won't leave my side today.  I am still sore and feeling crummy.  I really want to feel better already. Hoping that two more days of rest before I head back to work will do the trick. 

I have GOT to get my last few grad school assignments done today and tomorrow.  I have had a hard time focusing over the past few days!  :) 

Please keep our lucky 13 in your thoughts and prayers!  :)