Its been some time since I last posted. Its been a challenging few months. Life just didn't seem very fair... and I had a hard time dealing with it.
I agreed to start taking happy pills... but for the first month I felt absolutley terrible. They made me drowsy and all I wanted to do was sleep. Didn't do much for my mood or marriage. I am feeling better now for the most part. I really resent the fact that I have to take the stupid things, but I do think they are helping somewhat.
We did decide to go ahead with the frozen transfer the end of the this year. We've met our out of pocket maximum, so we will have 100% coverage for this transfer. Of course the clinic isn't being as cooperative as we'd like and still wants us to pay our 30% copay and then they will refund us... as if we have that extra cash just laying around... Oh well, it's never dull with us!
The transfer is scheduled for December 10th. I've had the baseline appt and have started the wonderful meds. Lupron to supress everything and give me wonderful headaches and estrogen to build the lining and induce mood swings. I go back for a lining check on December 3rd. Then we'll see where we go... I am so afraid that the embryos will not survive the thaw, and all of this will be for nothing. Guess that is just the realist in me. (Chris calls it the pessimist!)
On a bright note, we did have an addition to our family... 
Romeo came into our life on October 14th. He is a pure bred yellow labrador retriever. He was only 5 1/2 weeks when we brought hime home, and has been a fun addition to our life. He has changed our lifestyly for sure... everything is a chew toy to him! He has been a great distraction for me over the past few months.
My sister had the baby on Monday, and it was harder than I even imagined it would be. Life just isn't fair. My good friends also had their twins on Friday. I couldn't be happier for them, but also so sad for myself.
So that is where I am at... resigned to doing this transfer, but still have a tiny bit of hope that this might just work. I really don't know how we will deal with yet another failure. I don't know if either of us is strong enough for that.
