We just heard from the lab. Of our 18 eggs, 14 were mature and 13 fertilized. We are hoping that 13 is our lucky number. This is the most we've had at this point. We will hear from the lab again on Sunday. At that point they will give our embryos grades. Hoping to have a good number of embryos to test. They will be test on Day 5 or 6.
I am still sore today. Was feeling pretty good this morning and then was reminded that I had surgery yesterday. Glad that we aren't heading home today. The snow has finally stopped here and the sun is shining.
Hoping to feel up to getting out of the hotel this afternoon. :)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Eighteen
There is a full force blizzard here in Denver. It made getting to the clinic this morning interesting to say the least. Our hotel didn't plow the lot so DH ended up having to help two other cars out of the lot just so we could get to the clinic. Thank goodness we rented an SUV!
We got to the clinic in plenty of time. We waited for a few minutes and then they took me in the surgery wing. I was able to change and then got into bed and the nurse was a delight. She started my IV and answered my questions. They brought C back and he was able to stay with me until I was taken to the OR.
The RE was late due to the weather and a surgery at the other office. She got there by 9:20 and they took me right back. The anesthesiologist gave me something to relax me once we started moving. I remember moving on the bed and then that was it. I do not remember anything until I woke up in recovery. I had some panic when I woke up- which is typical for me. :) I had some pain, but the nurse got me some medication right away. She gave me a second dose when I was still feeling some pain.
C came back once I was awake and we waited to hear the news from the embyologist. I was worried about the numbers. We were thrilled when they told us that they got 18 eggs! We won't know how many were mature or fertilized until tomorrow morning. I am of course worried about this, as maturity was one of my biggest worries over the past few days.
I am definitely sore. My ovaries have always been a little on the challenging side. I am also sore due to the OHSS. They gave me some narcotics before I left the clinic and now I am just on tylenol. I've slept most of the afternoon. We also stopped and got a heating pad which has helped greatly.
The snow is still falling. The airport is pretty much closed. Thankful that we booked our flight on Saturday. Hoping that the airport clears up by then. The snow is supposed to stop by this evening. Hoping to get some photos tomorrow to share. It is a great day to hang out in a hotel!
We got to the clinic in plenty of time. We waited for a few minutes and then they took me in the surgery wing. I was able to change and then got into bed and the nurse was a delight. She started my IV and answered my questions. They brought C back and he was able to stay with me until I was taken to the OR.
The RE was late due to the weather and a surgery at the other office. She got there by 9:20 and they took me right back. The anesthesiologist gave me something to relax me once we started moving. I remember moving on the bed and then that was it. I do not remember anything until I woke up in recovery. I had some panic when I woke up- which is typical for me. :) I had some pain, but the nurse got me some medication right away. She gave me a second dose when I was still feeling some pain.
C came back once I was awake and we waited to hear the news from the embyologist. I was worried about the numbers. We were thrilled when they told us that they got 18 eggs! We won't know how many were mature or fertilized until tomorrow morning. I am of course worried about this, as maturity was one of my biggest worries over the past few days.
I am definitely sore. My ovaries have always been a little on the challenging side. I am also sore due to the OHSS. They gave me some narcotics before I left the clinic and now I am just on tylenol. I've slept most of the afternoon. We also stopped and got a heating pad which has helped greatly.
The snow is still falling. The airport is pretty much closed. Thankful that we booked our flight on Saturday. Hoping that the airport clears up by then. The snow is supposed to stop by this evening. Hoping to get some photos tomorrow to share. It is a great day to hang out in a hotel!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Triggered
So we triggered last night at 10:00. This meant an intramuscular injection. Chris is pretty good and it didn't hurt too much. We had to head to the clinic this morning just for blood work. They will check my estrogen, progesterone, and HCG levels. Hopefully the trigger shot pushed my estrogen back up and my HCG levels show that I absorbed everything from the trigger last night.
The roads are a little rough... they are estimated that there are 6 or so inches of snow already with up to TWO FEET expected! The snow is expected to continue through today and tomorrow, which means we will have to head to the clinic again in the snow.
Today is all about hanging out in the hotel and doing my grad school homework. I haven't done anything since I got here and REALLY need to get about four different projects done!
The roads are a little rough... they are estimated that there are 6 or so inches of snow already with up to TWO FEET expected! The snow is expected to continue through today and tomorrow, which means we will have to head to the clinic again in the snow.Today is all about hanging out in the hotel and doing my grad school homework. I haven't done anything since I got here and REALLY need to get about four different projects done!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Reality Check
So we got a little reality check today. I have been "coasting" with little to no meds due to a risk for overstimulation. It appears that due to this, some of the follicles have stalled out and stopped growing. At this morning's ultrasound, it didn't appear that I had much of any measurable growth in the follicles. The real concern was the fact that my estrogen came back at just over 2000... which is a HUGE drop.
Lots of tears and panic for several hours until we finally spoke to the nurse again. We were honestly considering canceling our cycle. I just can't take spending the big money only to get no mature eggs or marginal embryos that can't even be tested. After talking with the nurse, she feels that we should have at least 13 mature eggs. That's a lot less than the 20 I was told just yesterday, but I suppose it is still much better than most people can hope for. I just pray that they are mature and at least half of them make it to blast and are able to be tested. I *need* to have at least 2 normals when we are done with all of this. I was praying to have some extras to keep frozen, but I guess I was getting a little too greedy.
I am still pretty upset and trying hard to keep myself together. They are calling for a blizzard tonight and tomorrow here in Denver. Isn't that just our luck? We have to go to the lab in the morning to get blood drawn to check my levels one more time. We will do a "trigger" HCG injection at 10:00 tonight that will force the eggs to mature and raise my estrogen levels back up. The blood work will check the HCG levels, estrogen, and progesterone. We will hear back from our nurse tomorrow afternoon on our levels.
We have to be at the surgery center (also at the clinic) at 8:00 on Thursday morning. Another Dr (not mine) will do the procedure, but she is known to get more eggs than other Drs, so I will take it. The surgery is set for 9:00 am so I should be back to the hotel by early afternoon.
Chris and I did take the railroad up to Pike's Peak. However, the snow in the mountains prevented us from going all the way to the summit. We didn't see any animals except a bunny... so I was a little disappointed. I guess that is as close to the mountains that I am going to get this time. I did get some good photos and will share those later.
Chris went to go for a run so he could clear his head. I think I am going to take a nap. The snow is coming so I am hoping to get a good dinner tonight since who knows what tomorrow will bring!
Lots of tears and panic for several hours until we finally spoke to the nurse again. We were honestly considering canceling our cycle. I just can't take spending the big money only to get no mature eggs or marginal embryos that can't even be tested. After talking with the nurse, she feels that we should have at least 13 mature eggs. That's a lot less than the 20 I was told just yesterday, but I suppose it is still much better than most people can hope for. I just pray that they are mature and at least half of them make it to blast and are able to be tested. I *need* to have at least 2 normals when we are done with all of this. I was praying to have some extras to keep frozen, but I guess I was getting a little too greedy.
I am still pretty upset and trying hard to keep myself together. They are calling for a blizzard tonight and tomorrow here in Denver. Isn't that just our luck? We have to go to the lab in the morning to get blood drawn to check my levels one more time. We will do a "trigger" HCG injection at 10:00 tonight that will force the eggs to mature and raise my estrogen levels back up. The blood work will check the HCG levels, estrogen, and progesterone. We will hear back from our nurse tomorrow afternoon on our levels.
We have to be at the surgery center (also at the clinic) at 8:00 on Thursday morning. Another Dr (not mine) will do the procedure, but she is known to get more eggs than other Drs, so I will take it. The surgery is set for 9:00 am so I should be back to the hotel by early afternoon.
Chris and I did take the railroad up to Pike's Peak. However, the snow in the mountains prevented us from going all the way to the summit. We didn't see any animals except a bunny... so I was a little disappointed. I guess that is as close to the mountains that I am going to get this time. I did get some good photos and will share those later.
Chris went to go for a run so he could clear his head. I think I am going to take a nap. The snow is coming so I am hoping to get a good dinner tonight since who knows what tomorrow will bring!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday night Update...
We are still chugging along. We met with a genetic counselor today. She was not the one we met with when we were here before, but she gave us basically the same information we had before as well as had us sign a million more consents for the testing. They really feel that we should end up with 5-6 normals. She quoted us an 80-85% success rate if we end up transferring two normals. I am starting to believe that this might really happen!
Estrogen was 4085 today so I am doing 37.5 Gonal F tonight and then no menopur in the morning. I am back tomorrow morning for ultrasound and lab. They are estimating my retreieval will be on Thursday as planned.
Chris and I have a reservation to go up to Pike's Peak tomorrow via the Cog railroad. Looking forward to getting up into the mountains!
We're going to go walk around the mall for a little bit tonight. It will give me something to do! :)
Estrogen was 4085 today so I am doing 37.5 Gonal F tonight and then no menopur in the morning. I am back tomorrow morning for ultrasound and lab. They are estimating my retreieval will be on Thursday as planned.
Chris and I have a reservation to go up to Pike's Peak tomorrow via the Cog railroad. Looking forward to getting up into the mountains!
We're going to go walk around the mall for a little bit tonight. It will give me something to do! :)
Monday Morning Update
Chris arrived safely last night. The snow stopped in plenty of time for me to go get him. The moutains are now covered in snow and are even more beautiful if that is possible! It is nice to have him here and he is busy working right now as I type this.
I had my "IVF Physical" with the nurse practitioner this morning. There was some concern over my blood pressure, but by the end of the physical it had come down. It was a little elevated with my physical back home too. I guess this is something that I need to look into when we are done with this IVF stuff. She assured me that I will be fully asleep for the retrieval and that they will not allow me to feel anything at all. She explained that they really want the patient to be really still through the procedure and having you in pain prevents that. :) She assured me that they will also monitor my pain after the procedure and that I shouldn't have the same issues that I had with the last ER.
My ultrasound still shows LOTS happening in my ovaries... and I am feeling it! The tech guessed that there are actually 18-20 on the right and 10-12 on the left. There are four that are over 2 but the rest are all in the 15-18 range. This was the first u/s that Chris was able to see and he kept saying that he had never seen my ovaries look like this... that everything was the same size and looked good. Hoping that is a good sign. Met with our nurse and she thinks they will have me coast one more day before trigger which will place the retrieval on Thursday as originally planned. I am a little concerned that we will lose some of the eggs... either the ones that are already big or with coasting. I am still trying to have hope!
We also talked with the nurse about getting on the schedule for transfer. Of course this is all dependent on having normals to transfer. I had heard through one of the message boards that the schedule was filling up. She told us that she would go ahead and work on a calendar for us and get us a "slot" In a perfect world, we would like to transfer at the end of January. I also asked her about the letrozale instead of the depot lupron. She said that would be a good option for us. Chris and I still need to do a little research on that too. If we can't transfer in January, we will have to wait until Spring Break and neither of us wants to wait that long.
We go back at 1:00 to meet with the genetic counselor about the genetic testing. We will also touch base with our nurse again at that time. Not sure if she will have our blood results yet.
I am off to take a nap. I am not sleeping well and just seem to do better if I can get a nap in!
I had my "IVF Physical" with the nurse practitioner this morning. There was some concern over my blood pressure, but by the end of the physical it had come down. It was a little elevated with my physical back home too. I guess this is something that I need to look into when we are done with this IVF stuff. She assured me that I will be fully asleep for the retrieval and that they will not allow me to feel anything at all. She explained that they really want the patient to be really still through the procedure and having you in pain prevents that. :) She assured me that they will also monitor my pain after the procedure and that I shouldn't have the same issues that I had with the last ER.
My ultrasound still shows LOTS happening in my ovaries... and I am feeling it! The tech guessed that there are actually 18-20 on the right and 10-12 on the left. There are four that are over 2 but the rest are all in the 15-18 range. This was the first u/s that Chris was able to see and he kept saying that he had never seen my ovaries look like this... that everything was the same size and looked good. Hoping that is a good sign. Met with our nurse and she thinks they will have me coast one more day before trigger which will place the retrieval on Thursday as originally planned. I am a little concerned that we will lose some of the eggs... either the ones that are already big or with coasting. I am still trying to have hope!
We also talked with the nurse about getting on the schedule for transfer. Of course this is all dependent on having normals to transfer. I had heard through one of the message boards that the schedule was filling up. She told us that she would go ahead and work on a calendar for us and get us a "slot" In a perfect world, we would like to transfer at the end of January. I also asked her about the letrozale instead of the depot lupron. She said that would be a good option for us. Chris and I still need to do a little research on that too. If we can't transfer in January, we will have to wait until Spring Break and neither of us wants to wait that long.
We go back at 1:00 to meet with the genetic counselor about the genetic testing. We will also touch base with our nurse again at that time. Not sure if she will have our blood results yet.
I am off to take a nap. I am not sleeping well and just seem to do better if I can get a nap in!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Back on the Coast :(
Just heard back from the nurse today. My Estrogen was 3515 so I am back to coasting.. this time on NO stims at all for 24 hours. The ultrasound this morning still shows 10-12 follicles on each side with one larger at 1.9 but most of them all in the 1.3 to 1.5 range. They want them to be between 1.8 and 2.2 so I am moving along. I am guessing I will be on track for the Thursday ER, with Wednesday as the soonest. I am glad that Chris is coming on tonight instead of Tuesday though. I am starting to feel really uncomfortable so it will be nice to have him here.
The lab tech had a really hard time getting blood this morning, My arm is still sore. I think tomorrow I am going to advocate for them to take the blood from my hand and my veins are nice and juicy there and close to the surface.
The snow has started to fall here in Denver. It is really pretty. I had to go get a snow brush for the car since the rental place didn't put one in the car! The snow doesn't seem to be sticking right now. The news says that there may be an accumulation of a few inches. It seems to be melting as it falls so I wonder if there really will be an accumulation.
Just hanging out in the hotel today. I need to do the progress reports for my students and work on some homework. Now that Chris is coming a day early, I have one less day to work on homework. I am SO excited that I am on the home stretch... grad school is over in TWO WEEKS!
The lab tech had a really hard time getting blood this morning, My arm is still sore. I think tomorrow I am going to advocate for them to take the blood from my hand and my veins are nice and juicy there and close to the surface.
The snow has started to fall here in Denver. It is really pretty. I had to go get a snow brush for the car since the rental place didn't put one in the car! The snow doesn't seem to be sticking right now. The news says that there may be an accumulation of a few inches. It seems to be melting as it falls so I wonder if there really will be an accumulation.
Just hanging out in the hotel today. I need to do the progress reports for my students and work on some homework. Now that Chris is coming a day early, I have one less day to work on homework. I am SO excited that I am on the home stretch... grad school is over in TWO WEEKS!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Safe Coast!
I heard back from the office before noon today. My E2 is at 2300, so it seems that the coast worked. I am back at 75 Gonal F and 5 lupron tonight and then 1 menopur in the morning. I will go back in the morning to see how things look with the added medication.
My GPS started to work again! :) I drove down to Colorado Springs this morning and was able to take in a few sights. Turns out I left my memory card at home so I had to stop and get one at Best Buy. Hard to take any photos without a memory card! I was hoping to drive into the mountains a little bit but started to feel a little icky and didn't want to risk it. I drove back up to Lone Tree via Archiver's and managed to spend $. Hopefully my goodies will keep me busy tonight and tomorrow.
Still drinking LOTS of fluids and taking it easy. I am definitely starting to feel my ovaries!
My GPS started to work again! :) I drove down to Colorado Springs this morning and was able to take in a few sights. Turns out I left my memory card at home so I had to stop and get one at Best Buy. Hard to take any photos without a memory card! I was hoping to drive into the mountains a little bit but started to feel a little icky and didn't want to risk it. I drove back up to Lone Tree via Archiver's and managed to spend $. Hopefully my goodies will keep me busy tonight and tomorrow.
Still drinking LOTS of fluids and taking it easy. I am definitely starting to feel my ovaries!
Coasting along :)
Back from this morning's ultrasound and blood draw. Won't have blood results until later today but the ultrasound looked good. Another great ultrasound tech who really knew what she was doing and was just kind. That just makes such a difference. I was in and out in less than 30 minutes again.
I still have 10-12 on each side with the largest at 1.5 but most of them are all in the same range. No renegades to make things even more complicated. It seems that coasting did the trick. The ultrasound tech was also a nurse and reminded me to make sure I am staying really hydrated with lots of gatorade and salty foods. I so wish I loved salty foods as much as I love chocolate!
It is simply breathtaking here. As I drove to the clinic this morning, the skies were bright blue and the snow covered mountains are in the distance. I think I could live here. :) Today is supposed to be the best day while we are here so I am hoping to get out and do something today. I haven't decided just what to do. Without my GPS I am a little worried to be adventerous, but I might just give it a shot. I don't have to be back to the hotel until this evening so I suppose getting lost isnt the worst thing that could happen! :)
I still have 10-12 on each side with the largest at 1.5 but most of them are all in the same range. No renegades to make things even more complicated. It seems that coasting did the trick. The ultrasound tech was also a nurse and reminded me to make sure I am staying really hydrated with lots of gatorade and salty foods. I so wish I loved salty foods as much as I love chocolate!
It is simply breathtaking here. As I drove to the clinic this morning, the skies were bright blue and the snow covered mountains are in the distance. I think I could live here. :) Today is supposed to be the best day while we are here so I am hoping to get out and do something today. I haven't decided just what to do. Without my GPS I am a little worried to be adventerous, but I might just give it a shot. I don't have to be back to the hotel until this evening so I suppose getting lost isnt the worst thing that could happen! :)
Friday, October 23, 2009
Regroup with Dr
So I am back from the regroup with the Doctor. I have mixed emotions right now. :)
First things, my estrogen is over 2000. YIKES! Originally they had me doing 75 Gonal F tonight and 1 menopur in the morning. After talking to the RE, he decided that I will coast tonight... just lupron tonight and then one amp of menopur in the morning. I expressed my concerns about immature eggs, and Dr S assured me that he is not concerned at this time as he will coast me rather than trigger early. I questioned the impact coasting has on egg quality, and I was told that as long as I don't coast 4 or more days there is no concern. My next concern is the date of my ER... Chris isnt supposed to be coming out until Tuesday. Dr S feels that the earliest my ER should be is Wednesday. That would mean that I would have to use a nurse to do my trigger shot. Chris is looking into changing his flight for Sunday night or Monday.
I asked Dr S if there were any "answers" that became apparent during our tests... he said the only thing he saw was PCOS... which I already knew. The only other option for answers is the testing that we plan to do with our embryos. It is also good that we are doing a freeze all since I would be at a high risk for OHSS with my estrogen as high as it is right now.
I also got some more information about what happens after ER. I will stop all medication except the antibiotic after the procedure. About 12 days later I should get my period. I can then start the Depot Lupron treatment for the Beta 3 Integrin protein right away. I asked about the "add back" that someone mentioned when taking lupron. I get horrible headaches on the lupron and have heard that they are BAD when on the 2 months of depot lupron. Dr S told me that there is another option for treatment- Letrozale I think. I need to do some research on that. It is also a shorter treatment. Wondering if I will be able to get a transfer in January. I am hearing that things are booking up quickly. I am going to ask my nurse about that on Monday.
Hoping to get some rest tonight. Didn't sleep well last night and I have a rotten headache still. Planning to veg out in front of the TV for the rest of the night. :)
First things, my estrogen is over 2000. YIKES! Originally they had me doing 75 Gonal F tonight and 1 menopur in the morning. After talking to the RE, he decided that I will coast tonight... just lupron tonight and then one amp of menopur in the morning. I expressed my concerns about immature eggs, and Dr S assured me that he is not concerned at this time as he will coast me rather than trigger early. I questioned the impact coasting has on egg quality, and I was told that as long as I don't coast 4 or more days there is no concern. My next concern is the date of my ER... Chris isnt supposed to be coming out until Tuesday. Dr S feels that the earliest my ER should be is Wednesday. That would mean that I would have to use a nurse to do my trigger shot. Chris is looking into changing his flight for Sunday night or Monday.
I asked Dr S if there were any "answers" that became apparent during our tests... he said the only thing he saw was PCOS... which I already knew. The only other option for answers is the testing that we plan to do with our embryos. It is also good that we are doing a freeze all since I would be at a high risk for OHSS with my estrogen as high as it is right now.
I also got some more information about what happens after ER. I will stop all medication except the antibiotic after the procedure. About 12 days later I should get my period. I can then start the Depot Lupron treatment for the Beta 3 Integrin protein right away. I asked about the "add back" that someone mentioned when taking lupron. I get horrible headaches on the lupron and have heard that they are BAD when on the 2 months of depot lupron. Dr S told me that there is another option for treatment- Letrozale I think. I need to do some research on that. It is also a shorter treatment. Wondering if I will be able to get a transfer in January. I am hearing that things are booking up quickly. I am going to ask my nurse about that on Monday.
Hoping to get some rest tonight. Didn't sleep well last night and I have a rotten headache still. Planning to veg out in front of the TV for the rest of the night. :)
Things are still moving along.. maybe too fast?
I had my first appointment at the clinic in Denver this morning. What a difference from my local clinic... I didn't even sit down after checking in. The ultrasound tech was able to find my ovaries just fine! :) They measured 10-12 on one side and 12-14 on the other side. They are all in the same size range between 12 and 14 I think. I am worried that things are moving too quickly and that I am going to end up with an earlier than planned retrieval. Chris isnt coming out here until Tuesday. I also know that with IVF #2 when we stimmed really fast, we ended up with lousy eggs.
I was able to meet with my nurse today and she assured me that things are going along fine. She thinks they will decrease my dosage back to the 75 iu but will let me know once I get my blood work back. I really like my nurse and she has been very helpful and supportive and answered all of my questions. She made sure to ask how I was feeling... and honestly I am feeling crummy right now. I think I am dehydrated and the medication is causing me to have some stomach issues. Good times. She gave me the ok to take a decongestant and Dulcolax so that should help. I didn't sleep well last night either. I stopped at the store and got some fresh fruit in the hopes that would help all of my issues too.
I had a little melt down- When I got to the office they wanted me to write out two checks for our cycle fees. I knew that I needed to pay them, but didn't pay attention to the amount. When I called Chris, I realized that they charged us LOTS more than they quoted us earlier in the week. Chris freaked out when I told him and was angry that I didn't question it. I am just not good dealing with money stuff and am overwhelmed a little being out here all by myself. I miss him and wish that he was here with me. He is waiting to hear back from the office. I have an appointment with the RE this afternoon so I can find out more information when I go back this afternoon too.
Chris is at the funeral for Louis' dad right now. I feel bad that I can't be there for them all. I know that he was upset about the money but also frustrated that he was going to the funeral by himself too.
I need to write out my questions for the RE before I go in. That is the only way that I will get all of my questions answered. I tend to get flustered when I am sitting there and I wont have Chris there to help me remember and ask the questions. I am planning to come back and write another post so that I have the answers to my questions here to look back on.
I was able to meet with my nurse today and she assured me that things are going along fine. She thinks they will decrease my dosage back to the 75 iu but will let me know once I get my blood work back. I really like my nurse and she has been very helpful and supportive and answered all of my questions. She made sure to ask how I was feeling... and honestly I am feeling crummy right now. I think I am dehydrated and the medication is causing me to have some stomach issues. Good times. She gave me the ok to take a decongestant and Dulcolax so that should help. I didn't sleep well last night either. I stopped at the store and got some fresh fruit in the hopes that would help all of my issues too.
I had a little melt down- When I got to the office they wanted me to write out two checks for our cycle fees. I knew that I needed to pay them, but didn't pay attention to the amount. When I called Chris, I realized that they charged us LOTS more than they quoted us earlier in the week. Chris freaked out when I told him and was angry that I didn't question it. I am just not good dealing with money stuff and am overwhelmed a little being out here all by myself. I miss him and wish that he was here with me. He is waiting to hear back from the office. I have an appointment with the RE this afternoon so I can find out more information when I go back this afternoon too.
Chris is at the funeral for Louis' dad right now. I feel bad that I can't be there for them all. I know that he was upset about the money but also frustrated that he was going to the funeral by himself too.
I need to write out my questions for the RE before I go in. That is the only way that I will get all of my questions answered. I tend to get flustered when I am sitting there and I wont have Chris there to help me remember and ask the questions. I am planning to come back and write another post so that I have the answers to my questions here to look back on.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Safe and Sound in Denver!
I am typing this post on my new laptop safe and sound in my hotel in Denver. :) I was stressed about flying alone with medication, getting the rental car, and finding my way to the hotel. I am happy to say that I did it all... and with really no tears. I got teary when Chris dropped me off and a little teary when I had to get out of the rental car lot, but other than that I have done it all with little to no stress.
They tried to give me a really nice Tahoe at the rental car place... it was just WAY too big for this girl to drive. I ended up with a Ford Escape. There is snow on the ground here, so I am sure Chris is glad he booked an SUV for me. The sun is shining brightly too... so there is no snow on the roads, just on the trees. It is simply gorgeous here. I really think I could move here! :)
I did my morning meds at the airport... the family restroom worked perfectly! I had a little panic that I forgot to put needles in my carryon... thankfully Chris found them in my checked bag before we got to the airport. I didn't even have to show my letter to the TSA people. Just told them I had meds and that was it. I actually got in more trouble because I didn't have my laptop in its own container.
Already made my first Target run to stock the kitchen here in the hotel room. Lots of water and Gatorade. I was feeling dehydrated before I got here. Now adding in the altitude is making it even worse. I have a rotten headache right now. Looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight.
Looking forward to my first stim check at the "real" clinic tomorrow. Hopefully things don't take off to fast. I also have an appointment with the RE tomorrow afternoon. I need to write up my questions for him since I am sure I will only get a few moments with him.
Have a great night all!
They tried to give me a really nice Tahoe at the rental car place... it was just WAY too big for this girl to drive. I ended up with a Ford Escape. There is snow on the ground here, so I am sure Chris is glad he booked an SUV for me. The sun is shining brightly too... so there is no snow on the roads, just on the trees. It is simply gorgeous here. I really think I could move here! :)
I did my morning meds at the airport... the family restroom worked perfectly! I had a little panic that I forgot to put needles in my carryon... thankfully Chris found them in my checked bag before we got to the airport. I didn't even have to show my letter to the TSA people. Just told them I had meds and that was it. I actually got in more trouble because I didn't have my laptop in its own container.
Already made my first Target run to stock the kitchen here in the hotel room. Lots of water and Gatorade. I was feeling dehydrated before I got here. Now adding in the altitude is making it even worse. I have a rotten headache right now. Looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight.
Looking forward to my first stim check at the "real" clinic tomorrow. Hopefully things don't take off to fast. I also have an appointment with the RE tomorrow afternoon. I need to write up my questions for him since I am sure I will only get a few moments with him.
Have a great night all!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Stim Check #1
My first stim check was this morning. Once again the local clinic was less than ideal and I ended up much later than I wanted to for work. But, I am thankful that they are there and will take me. :)
The U/S tech once again had a hard time finding my ovaries. Not sure why since they seem to be growing quite the crop of follicles! There are 9 on the left and 18 on the right! They are all relativly small with one a little larger. I hope that one doesn't mess things up. My Estradol was already at 606, so they are backing off on my medication a little bit. My Progesterone was .6 and Estrogen was .7
So I guess my fears about too low of a dose was unfounded! I am decreasing my Gonal F to 75 iu tonight and only one menopur in the morning. I am back at 150 Gonal F tomorrow night and 1 menopur on Friday morning.
I am flying out to Denver tomorrow morning! I will feel much better once I am out there and there are more competent techs doing my ultrasounds! My clothes are packed- just need to pack all of the extra stuff that I need to live for the next 10 days. Chris bought a new laptop today... so I am so excited to take that with me to play with! It is a MacBook Pro. I have lots of Grad school work to do so it will be nice to have a new laptop to do it on.
Chris has been amazing... I am so thankful for our marriage and the fact that we have grown closer during infertility. He is my soul mate and best friend, and I hope that we are able to bring a child into this world that has his amazing qualities.
Must go finish packing. My next post will be from Denver!
The U/S tech once again had a hard time finding my ovaries. Not sure why since they seem to be growing quite the crop of follicles! There are 9 on the left and 18 on the right! They are all relativly small with one a little larger. I hope that one doesn't mess things up. My Estradol was already at 606, so they are backing off on my medication a little bit. My Progesterone was .6 and Estrogen was .7
So I guess my fears about too low of a dose was unfounded! I am decreasing my Gonal F to 75 iu tonight and only one menopur in the morning. I am back at 150 Gonal F tomorrow night and 1 menopur on Friday morning.
I am flying out to Denver tomorrow morning! I will feel much better once I am out there and there are more competent techs doing my ultrasounds! My clothes are packed- just need to pack all of the extra stuff that I need to live for the next 10 days. Chris bought a new laptop today... so I am so excited to take that with me to play with! It is a MacBook Pro. I have lots of Grad school work to do so it will be nice to have a new laptop to do it on.
Chris has been amazing... I am so thankful for our marriage and the fact that we have grown closer during infertility. He is my soul mate and best friend, and I hope that we are able to bring a child into this world that has his amazing qualities.
Must go finish packing. My next post will be from Denver!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Getting my ducks in a row...
I think the panic has set in. I am trying hard to keep calm. Things are falling into place, and now it is just the last minute stuff that I need to get together. I am making piles and lists. While I wish Chris was coming with me from the start, I am thankful that he can bring anything that I forget.
My lesson plans are done... at least for the most part. I need to add some details and make sure everything is in place tomorrow. Of course today I had to go to an inservice all day, so I wasn't at school. I have grad school tomorrow night and I leave on Thursday morning. I am so indecisive about everything... even just which clothes to take with. Grrrrrrr!
I am still on the same dose of medication.... 300 units total. I go into the local clinic in the morning to check my levels and see what is happening. I had to call and schedule all of the appointments I need once I am in Denver. What a mess... the girl that I spoke to was rude and not very helpful. I was furious by the time I hung up, but I have all of my appointments scheduled. Not sure why the nurse couldn't just schedule it or why this girl had to be so difficult. Initially they didn't have an opening for me to meet with the RE, which made me freak out even more. We haven't spoken to him since our initial one day workup at the end of the last month. I want to hear the information from him. I have questions... I am spending big bucks and feel that the RE should at least be able to spend 20 minutes with me. I am still walking the fine line between trusting the RE and advocating for what I feel I need.
On a very sad note, our good friend lost his father this morning. He had a heart attack several years ago but was in realtively good health. I am so sad for him and his family. Louis is Chris' closest friend and again I am thankful that he is coming out to Denver later. That will allow him to be here for the wake and funeral and support Louis during this terrible time. My heart breaks for Louis and Jenny and their two little boys.
I need to get back to getting things done. Why do we always seem to run out of dog food at the worst times? Off to the store!
My lesson plans are done... at least for the most part. I need to add some details and make sure everything is in place tomorrow. Of course today I had to go to an inservice all day, so I wasn't at school. I have grad school tomorrow night and I leave on Thursday morning. I am so indecisive about everything... even just which clothes to take with. Grrrrrrr!
I am still on the same dose of medication.... 300 units total. I go into the local clinic in the morning to check my levels and see what is happening. I had to call and schedule all of the appointments I need once I am in Denver. What a mess... the girl that I spoke to was rude and not very helpful. I was furious by the time I hung up, but I have all of my appointments scheduled. Not sure why the nurse couldn't just schedule it or why this girl had to be so difficult. Initially they didn't have an opening for me to meet with the RE, which made me freak out even more. We haven't spoken to him since our initial one day workup at the end of the last month. I want to hear the information from him. I have questions... I am spending big bucks and feel that the RE should at least be able to spend 20 minutes with me. I am still walking the fine line between trusting the RE and advocating for what I feel I need.
On a very sad note, our good friend lost his father this morning. He had a heart attack several years ago but was in realtively good health. I am so sad for him and his family. Louis is Chris' closest friend and again I am thankful that he is coming out to Denver later. That will allow him to be here for the wake and funeral and support Louis during this terrible time. My heart breaks for Louis and Jenny and their two little boys.
I need to get back to getting things done. Why do we always seem to run out of dog food at the worst times? Off to the store!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Starting Stims
I did my first stimulation shots this morning. We had a swim meet this morning so we had to do it while there. I think this kept me from freaking out a little more than I would have at home. :) My good friend helped me mix the medication and gave me moral support to do my first shot myself. Up to this point, Chris has been giving me the Lupron shots at night. Due to timing and the fact that I will be heading to Denver myself, I have to get used to giving myself the shots. It wasn't too bad.
I am worried that the dose that they are starting me on is too low. We want to be aggressive as this is our last IVF. However, I know there is something to be said about QUALITY eggs over quantity. I am trying to have faith. We haven't talked with the RE about this, but the nurse conveyed my conerns to him and she explained that he wants to start slow due to the risk of hyperstimulation due to my PCOS. He is out of the office until I get to Denver, so I am hoping to get an appt with him that day. Hopefully it won't be too late. I am torn between trusting the RE and knowing my body.
So the dose for the next several days is the same..... 2 units of Menopur in the morning, 150 iu Gonal F & 5 units of Lupron at night. I am also still on the Dexamethasone. I have not been on that before and need to get more information about what that is for.
On another note, we went to a wedding for a friend and coworker last night. It included a traditional Korean tea ceremony. We enjoyed spending the time with Chris' best friend and his wife. We got into a laughing fit during the speeches and just couldn't stop. I was sad that I couldn't enjoy a glass of wine in celebration. But it will all be worth it.... it will all be worth it.... :)
Here we are at the wedding:
I am worried that the dose that they are starting me on is too low. We want to be aggressive as this is our last IVF. However, I know there is something to be said about QUALITY eggs over quantity. I am trying to have faith. We haven't talked with the RE about this, but the nurse conveyed my conerns to him and she explained that he wants to start slow due to the risk of hyperstimulation due to my PCOS. He is out of the office until I get to Denver, so I am hoping to get an appt with him that day. Hopefully it won't be too late. I am torn between trusting the RE and knowing my body.
So the dose for the next several days is the same..... 2 units of Menopur in the morning, 150 iu Gonal F & 5 units of Lupron at night. I am also still on the Dexamethasone. I have not been on that before and need to get more information about what that is for.
On another note, we went to a wedding for a friend and coworker last night. It included a traditional Korean tea ceremony. We enjoyed spending the time with Chris' best friend and his wife. We got into a laughing fit during the speeches and just couldn't stop. I was sad that I couldn't enjoy a glass of wine in celebration. But it will all be worth it.... it will all be worth it.... :)
Here we are at the wedding:
On yet another note, I have now been curly girl for several months. I couldn't be happier! My hair is healtier and my curls look good most of the time. I think I have found a product routine that is working for me. Chris just laughs when people ask me about my hair and tells them about the product that lines my shower.
Now I need to get some grad school work done and start thinking about lesson plans for the coming two weeks. Trying hard NOT to get overwhelmed.....
Friday, October 16, 2009
Cycle Day #2
It has been a whirlwind the past two days. It seems that period did in fact start and today is currently CD #2. Wondering what the means? It means that we went from being on the fast track to the express train.
I went in this morning for bloodwork and an ultrasound to check for suppression of my ovaries. Chris was a ROCKSTAR and was able to get me an appointment at my old clinic. We had 24 hours to get everything in motion. I was in a little bit of a panic to say the least.
The bloodwork and ultrasound was not simple today- they had a hard time finding a vein and my ovaries! I was much later to work than I really wanted to be. I am really looking forward to being able to *just* cycle and not have to worry about work and traffic and all of the nonsense of the rest of my life. It was nice to have people who know me and were willing to work with me this morning though.
I heard back from my IVF nurse this afternoon and it seems that everything is good. There are no cysts on my ovaries and my levels were good. I didn't ask for specifics. I need to remember to ask for specific details. She told me I could start meds tomorrow or Sunday. I was suprised when she said that it didn't matter... so when I pushed her she said to just start on Sunday. So we will start my stim medication on Sunday. That means a total of 3 shots a day for the next 10 days. We have to work out the timing, especially since it will be an hour earlier in Denver. The morning and afternoon doses need to be 12 hours apart so that is making things interesting.
Speaking of medication, thank goodness Chris was also able to deal with that. We ordered from my mail order pharmacy through work. If I had it to do again, I think I would have just ordered from the name brand pharmacy. I think I will look into that for part II of this process. The meds were delivered today... in FOUR seperate boxes. Chris laughed that I am going to need a seperate suitcase just for the medication!
I did question the dosage that I am on, but was told that the RE is worried about overstim and wants to start slow and will monitor me closely. I am trying to have faith. So for Sunday through Wednesday, I will do 150 iu of Menopur in the morning and 150 iu of Gonal F at night. I will also decrease Lupron to 5 units.
I will have my first stim check on Wednesday and then fly out to Denver on Thursday. Right now the tentative retrieval date is set for October 29th and we will fly home on the 31st. Chris is coming out on the 27th, two days before the tentative ER. Everything is booked... flights, hotel, and rental car. Praying that everything falls into place.
Trying to have faith....
I went in this morning for bloodwork and an ultrasound to check for suppression of my ovaries. Chris was a ROCKSTAR and was able to get me an appointment at my old clinic. We had 24 hours to get everything in motion. I was in a little bit of a panic to say the least.
The bloodwork and ultrasound was not simple today- they had a hard time finding a vein and my ovaries! I was much later to work than I really wanted to be. I am really looking forward to being able to *just* cycle and not have to worry about work and traffic and all of the nonsense of the rest of my life. It was nice to have people who know me and were willing to work with me this morning though.
I heard back from my IVF nurse this afternoon and it seems that everything is good. There are no cysts on my ovaries and my levels were good. I didn't ask for specifics. I need to remember to ask for specific details. She told me I could start meds tomorrow or Sunday. I was suprised when she said that it didn't matter... so when I pushed her she said to just start on Sunday. So we will start my stim medication on Sunday. That means a total of 3 shots a day for the next 10 days. We have to work out the timing, especially since it will be an hour earlier in Denver. The morning and afternoon doses need to be 12 hours apart so that is making things interesting.
Speaking of medication, thank goodness Chris was also able to deal with that. We ordered from my mail order pharmacy through work. If I had it to do again, I think I would have just ordered from the name brand pharmacy. I think I will look into that for part II of this process. The meds were delivered today... in FOUR seperate boxes. Chris laughed that I am going to need a seperate suitcase just for the medication!I did question the dosage that I am on, but was told that the RE is worried about overstim and wants to start slow and will monitor me closely. I am trying to have faith. So for Sunday through Wednesday, I will do 150 iu of Menopur in the morning and 150 iu of Gonal F at night. I will also decrease Lupron to 5 units.
I will have my first stim check on Wednesday and then fly out to Denver on Thursday. Right now the tentative retrieval date is set for October 29th and we will fly home on the 31st. Chris is coming out on the 27th, two days before the tentative ER. Everything is booked... flights, hotel, and rental car. Praying that everything falls into place.
Trying to have faith....
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Thank goodness plans aren't in stone...
I don't know why I expected my body to go along with my carefully laid out plan for this IVF. Everything was falling into place schedule wise and I had everything lined up. I have a sub for my class all lined up and all of the paper work that went with that. I was set to fly out the day after my grad school final presentation. All that was left was for my cycle to stay on the same schedule it has been on for the past 6 months. Shouldn't be that difficult, now should it?!
So I started spotting today, which I am still hoping is just due to the lupron. The reality.... my period is probably going to start in a few days.... TWO WEEKS EARLY!!!!!! This means that everything has to be moved up and things are moving even faster than I planned. This means that I have to work out worst case scenario plans... including missing my final night of grad school. Trying to keep calm and just ride out the panic tonight.
My nurse was off today, so another nurse returned my call. She was confused by my chart considering the fact that I wasn't supposed to start stims for another two weeks. I had to explain that ALL of my cycles in the past year or so have been over 40 days. Now that I am counting on that, it appears that I am going to be lucky if this one is 30 days long. If AF shows in the next day or two, she thinks we can get the retrieval done before November 4th- so I could be back in time for the final presentation. She left a note for my nurse to call me tomorrow, so I hope that once I talk to her I can get some insight. Thankfully we did NOT book flights or hotels yet- was going to do that tomorrow. Looks like I will be holding off for a few more days on that.
On top of all of this, the headaches from the Lupron have started in full force. I feel like I have on a swim cap that is too tight. My thoughts are foggy and I am having a hard time concentrating. After rereading older entries, this is my typical response to Lupron. I suppose a positive to the schedule change is a shorter time on Lupron. I don't know how I will handle another day of the headache... and now I have to focus on getting all of the details changed.
Oh... tomorrow is another day!
So I started spotting today, which I am still hoping is just due to the lupron. The reality.... my period is probably going to start in a few days.... TWO WEEKS EARLY!!!!!! This means that everything has to be moved up and things are moving even faster than I planned. This means that I have to work out worst case scenario plans... including missing my final night of grad school. Trying to keep calm and just ride out the panic tonight.
My nurse was off today, so another nurse returned my call. She was confused by my chart considering the fact that I wasn't supposed to start stims for another two weeks. I had to explain that ALL of my cycles in the past year or so have been over 40 days. Now that I am counting on that, it appears that I am going to be lucky if this one is 30 days long. If AF shows in the next day or two, she thinks we can get the retrieval done before November 4th- so I could be back in time for the final presentation. She left a note for my nurse to call me tomorrow, so I hope that once I talk to her I can get some insight. Thankfully we did NOT book flights or hotels yet- was going to do that tomorrow. Looks like I will be holding off for a few more days on that.
On top of all of this, the headaches from the Lupron have started in full force. I feel like I have on a swim cap that is too tight. My thoughts are foggy and I am having a hard time concentrating. After rereading older entries, this is my typical response to Lupron. I suppose a positive to the schedule change is a shorter time on Lupron. I don't know how I will handle another day of the headache... and now I have to focus on getting all of the details changed.
Oh... tomorrow is another day!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
A better day
Today is a better day. :) I am getting used to the hot flashes from the Lupron and am starting to dress in lots of layers and always have some cold water with me. That seems to be helping quite a bit. I do have a rotten headache today that I am sure is due to part to the Lupron as well.
I am sure part of it is due to my sleep patterns too. Patches decided she had to go out at 3:30 this morning and wouldn't stop until someone got up to let her out. Chris had a swim meet this morning and I went along to work so we didn't get much sleep after letting the brat out. I came home and took a nap this afternoon and am feeling a little better now.
We are fortunate to have some close friends who we have shared our treatment plans with. We had dinner on Friday with the Rinaldi's. Chris had to do a goal setting meeting with one of our swim families yesterday and we ended up staying for the entire afternoon. They experienced IVF many years ago for their twins, who are now almost 16. It was nice to share what we are going through and have someone who has been there really get it. She still remembers the hot flashes from Lupron all those years ago!
I didn't do anything really around the house or any school work at all this weekend. I have plenty to do, but I am thankful to have one more day off this weekend. I need to get some grading, some homework, and housework done tomorrow. I decided today is all about resting and clearing off the DVR. :)
I am sure part of it is due to my sleep patterns too. Patches decided she had to go out at 3:30 this morning and wouldn't stop until someone got up to let her out. Chris had a swim meet this morning and I went along to work so we didn't get much sleep after letting the brat out. I came home and took a nap this afternoon and am feeling a little better now.
We are fortunate to have some close friends who we have shared our treatment plans with. We had dinner on Friday with the Rinaldi's. Chris had to do a goal setting meeting with one of our swim families yesterday and we ended up staying for the entire afternoon. They experienced IVF many years ago for their twins, who are now almost 16. It was nice to share what we are going through and have someone who has been there really get it. She still remembers the hot flashes from Lupron all those years ago!
I didn't do anything really around the house or any school work at all this weekend. I have plenty to do, but I am thankful to have one more day off this weekend. I need to get some grading, some homework, and housework done tomorrow. I decided today is all about resting and clearing off the DVR. :)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Already Losing my Mind....
I've now been on the lupron for three days. Yesterday I had to sit through a day of literacy trainings at school (even though I am four weeks away from a master's degree in literacy!) It was warm, but the lupron is definitely giving me hot flashes. At one point my face was so pink that one of my coworkers asked me if I was ok.
I am starting to freak out a little bit about doing this cycle. This is what I want to do, but now that all of the details are falling into place, I think the reality that I am really doing this is setting in. C & I need to sit down and talk about things, but I am already an emotional mess.
Heading to my Regular Dr in a little bit for my annual... yep, let that lapse and now have to take care of that before I can do the IVF. The saga for my prenatal vitamins is still ongoing as well. The samples they gave me from the RE are fine, but my insurance has an INSANE monthly copay for them. If I were to get pregnant, I could be on them for over a year and at $50 a month, that is A LOT! So the RE called in another brand that is considered generic by my insurance. However, it appears that Target can't get it in stock. I just about had a melt down at Target over this. Of course no one called me to tell me they couldn't get it either, so I was rather irritated that I drove out there only to be told they can't get it.
I am worried about the emotional impact this is going to have. I think I underestimated my emotions. Hoping to have some time this weekend to regroup and get myself mentally prepped for all of this. Thankful for a three day weekend!
I am starting to freak out a little bit about doing this cycle. This is what I want to do, but now that all of the details are falling into place, I think the reality that I am really doing this is setting in. C & I need to sit down and talk about things, but I am already an emotional mess.
Heading to my Regular Dr in a little bit for my annual... yep, let that lapse and now have to take care of that before I can do the IVF. The saga for my prenatal vitamins is still ongoing as well. The samples they gave me from the RE are fine, but my insurance has an INSANE monthly copay for them. If I were to get pregnant, I could be on them for over a year and at $50 a month, that is A LOT! So the RE called in another brand that is considered generic by my insurance. However, it appears that Target can't get it in stock. I just about had a melt down at Target over this. Of course no one called me to tell me they couldn't get it either, so I was rather irritated that I drove out there only to be told they can't get it.
I am worried about the emotional impact this is going to have. I think I underestimated my emotions. Hoping to have some time this weekend to regroup and get myself mentally prepped for all of this. Thankful for a three day weekend!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
GREEN LIGHT!
Here we go!
My progesterone is over 10, which is well above the 5 that it needed to be in order to start the Lupron. Injection #1 tonight. I am also starting Dexamethasone, which is a steroid and Doxycycline, which is an antibiotic.
I am NOT looking forward to the side effects of these meds, but in the end I am praying it will all be worth it. :)
The injections have to be given at the same time each night, so I am waiting for Chris to get home from practice and he will do the honors.
On another note, I have officially started MY LAST GRAD SCHOOL CLASS! Only four more weeks to go! Hurray!
My progesterone is over 10, which is well above the 5 that it needed to be in order to start the Lupron. Injection #1 tonight. I am also starting Dexamethasone, which is a steroid and Doxycycline, which is an antibiotic.
I am NOT looking forward to the side effects of these meds, but in the end I am praying it will all be worth it. :)
The injections have to be given at the same time each night, so I am waiting for Chris to get home from practice and he will do the honors.
On another note, I have officially started MY LAST GRAD SCHOOL CLASS! Only four more weeks to go! Hurray!
Vampires... or maybe not
No this is not a Twilight themed post! :) I had the rest of my blood tests this morning as well as my first progesterone check. They took 6 vials of blood... I am feeling like I was attacked by a vampire! It is already starting to bruise since she had to take so much and I could feel the needle moving. Thankfully it is cold enough for long sleeves, so I won't have to explain my "track marks" to my middle school students!
I am home now. With new policies at work, I can't just miss one class period anymore. The minimum I can take is a half day. I could have probably made it into work just in time this morning, but didn't want to push it. My principal is fabulous, it is the "higher power" that has caused things to change. Oh well. I am trying to limit my stress as much as possible with all of this, so taking the morning off has allowed me to come back home and sip coffee. I am not complaining! :)
As long as my progesterone level comes back in the right range, we will start meds TODAY! I am waiting for Fed Ex to deliver the injections this morning. I have to head to Target later to get the oral medications as my insurace wouldn't allow me to get them from the same place I have to order the injections from. Just one of many hurdles with this IVF stuff. I am now "that" girl who has her phone on her all the time and has to take calls when they come in. Not very convienent when you are a teacher, but thankfully they have only called in the afternoon when I co-teach or am on a plan period.
I have some mixed emotions right now. I am excited to get this show on the road, but nervous just the same. I am worried about the side effects of the medications and how I am going to fit this all in. Only I would decide to do an IVF while I am in my final class of grad school. I just keep reminding myself of all of the free time I am going to have come December! I should be able to make all kinds of stuff for the holidays.
Off to read a little for class tonight. Maybe I should be prepared... :)
I am home now. With new policies at work, I can't just miss one class period anymore. The minimum I can take is a half day. I could have probably made it into work just in time this morning, but didn't want to push it. My principal is fabulous, it is the "higher power" that has caused things to change. Oh well. I am trying to limit my stress as much as possible with all of this, so taking the morning off has allowed me to come back home and sip coffee. I am not complaining! :)
As long as my progesterone level comes back in the right range, we will start meds TODAY! I am waiting for Fed Ex to deliver the injections this morning. I have to head to Target later to get the oral medications as my insurace wouldn't allow me to get them from the same place I have to order the injections from. Just one of many hurdles with this IVF stuff. I am now "that" girl who has her phone on her all the time and has to take calls when they come in. Not very convienent when you are a teacher, but thankfully they have only called in the afternoon when I co-teach or am on a plan period.
I have some mixed emotions right now. I am excited to get this show on the road, but nervous just the same. I am worried about the side effects of the medications and how I am going to fit this all in. Only I would decide to do an IVF while I am in my final class of grad school. I just keep reminding myself of all of the free time I am going to have come December! I should be able to make all kinds of stuff for the holidays.
Off to read a little for class tonight. Maybe I should be prepared... :)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Let the fun begin!
I don't know that I was really ready for how fast all of this is moving. I am slowly coming to terms with the idea that I have to turn my life over to this IVF for the next 6 weeks. (All while finishing grad school.... what was I thinking?!)
Today I am feeling pretty good. Lots of phone calls and appointments taken care of today. Of course my "annual" exam needed to be repeated before starting this IVF so I was able to get in with my general Dr this Saturday. God Bless this woman and her understanding of my struggles! I set my first local blood draw for Wednesday and sent that office my insurance stuff. C talked to the business office and we took of some paperwork that is going to allow us to afford all of this. I spent the last hour on the phone with the insurance company trying to get a letter confirming benefits, only to be told that the RE needs to request it directly. Finally, I just placed my first order for medications. I only took what I needed right away. Even the copay for the meds is more than I wanted to pay just yet! :)
I talked with my principal about the details of my absences. I have to follow up with the District Office tomorrow. That could be interesting. I am now wondering if I will have to go on short term disability since I will be gone 8 days. Ugh... more paperwork I guess. I will learn more about that tomorrow I guess.
The local RE that I was going to use for monitoring isn't open on the weekend... and of course I am supposed to get checked on a Saturday. I need to find another office I guess. Why can't things just fall into place?!
Ok, trying to keep it all in perspective. Let's hope I am successful at that!
Today I am feeling pretty good. Lots of phone calls and appointments taken care of today. Of course my "annual" exam needed to be repeated before starting this IVF so I was able to get in with my general Dr this Saturday. God Bless this woman and her understanding of my struggles! I set my first local blood draw for Wednesday and sent that office my insurance stuff. C talked to the business office and we took of some paperwork that is going to allow us to afford all of this. I spent the last hour on the phone with the insurance company trying to get a letter confirming benefits, only to be told that the RE needs to request it directly. Finally, I just placed my first order for medications. I only took what I needed right away. Even the copay for the meds is more than I wanted to pay just yet! :)
I talked with my principal about the details of my absences. I have to follow up with the District Office tomorrow. That could be interesting. I am now wondering if I will have to go on short term disability since I will be gone 8 days. Ugh... more paperwork I guess. I will learn more about that tomorrow I guess.
The local RE that I was going to use for monitoring isn't open on the weekend... and of course I am supposed to get checked on a Saturday. I need to find another office I guess. Why can't things just fall into place?!
Ok, trying to keep it all in perspective. Let's hope I am successful at that!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Long time coming...
So I have debated about writing this post for some time. I wondered if I really wanted to share this experience with the world again. And then I remember just how theraputic this blog was for me in the past and decided that I would write this post. I might take it down later, but for now I will share. I bet you are all wondering what in the world is she talking about.... (Ok, maybe just the two of you who actually read this...)
C and I have decided to jump back into the treatment circus and complete one last IVF in our attempt to become parents. This has taken me four long years to even consider and now we are on the fast track. As you might remember, we have done this essentially four times before and have not been able to maintain a pregnancy past a few weeks. After my exploratory surgery almost four years ago, we decided it was time to take a break. My life had been consumed and we needed to heal both physically and emotionally. Two years ago just as we were ready to start considering one more IVF, we were approached by my coworker about possibly adopting her daughter's baby. We moved full force into the adoption world, as we really felt that God was showing us the way to parenthood with this adoption. Sadly, that path did not end with us as parents. We were more than devastated but truly are not angry with the birth mother and will always wonder about her son and pray for his health and happiness. Chris has spoken to the grandmother and we know he is doing well. He will celebrate his second birthday this week.
After the adoption failed, we were lost once again. I am not going to lie... C and I were both very angry with God. We just didn't understand why he had shown us this path only to take it from us. We know that we can't truly understand his plan, but we have struggled with our faith as we have endured so much heartache in our quest to become parents. Once again we stepped back and started to enjoy life, but always felt that something was missing in our life. We know more than anything that we want to be parents. I fell into a deep depression after the adoption failed and have worked hard to get back out. I was so lucky to find a psychologist that specializes in infertility and has personally endured many of the things that I have. I have been seeing her once a week since March, and it was with her help that I was finally able to become unparalized and make some decisions.
We are very fortunate to live in a state where infertility coverage is mandated for insurance companies. However, there are limitations, and we are at the end of our coverage. We are "allowed" one more IVF, so we knew we had to make the best choice. I have been terrified to do this last IVF as it is just that... our last attempt. I don't think that I have the emotional strength or the finances to do this beyond this cycle. So, we wanted to make sure we were in the BEST place for this cycle and not have ANY regrets in the end. After some research, we decided that we would go with a clinic that is considered one of the best, if not the best in the country. There are SO many variables in an IVF cycle, and we felt that this clinic had the best to offer. They are at the forefront of research and are pioneers when working with women like me.
We started with a phone consult back in August. We had to wait 6 weeks to even get this appointment. I was honestly ok with that, because I still needed to build up the emotional strength. In the meantime I had to gather all of my records from the five doctors we have seen locally and fill out extensive paperwork. It was hard to go through and relive all of those failures, but I also know that it was healing in some ways. We spoke with the Dr and he felt that we had some good chances with his clinic but we needed to come in for some tests. We made the decision to travel out there to get some answers. Answers... the second best thing that could come out of this.... Of course getting pregnant and having a child is the ultimate goal, but it we can't manage that, we would like to at least have some answers as to WHY we can't get pregnant. We have not had any answers up to this point and that is probably one of the most frustrating parts of all of this.
We had to base the appointment on my schedule, so we travelled to Denver at the start of this week. This clinic specializes with out of town patients who can't find success locally. We had a full day of tests and meetings on Monday. I was terrified since I have not had any tests in over 4 years. I was worried that my body was shutting down and that we had waited too long. Thankfully, this is not the case. My levels actually came back great and everything "looks" good. While this is great news, it still doesn't give us any answers.
We still have several tests left to get back, including some extensive genetic screening. One of the appointments while we were there was meeting with the Genetic Counselor. It was one of the most informative hours I have spent in my life. She was so knowledgeable and was able to explain many things to us. Chris and I will both have our karotype done to see if there is an underlying genetic issue. Our embryos will also be tested. This is the MAIN reason we are going to this clinic. One theory is that our embryos don't implant due to a genetic defect. If we know this is the fact, we can close this door and move onto adoption. If we have some embryos that are normal, they will know which ones are the "best" and use those. I know this is way scientific and some of you might even wonder if we are going too far. Please know that I have thought long and hard about this, and feel that this is what we are supposed to do. We will NOT know the genders of the embryos or any other information about them- only that they are healthy.
So..... we are planning to do this final IVF soon. As of right now, I will be heading to Denver on November 5th- the day after my last grad school class! :) I will be missing up to 2 weeks of school, but my principal has been very supportive up to this point and he knows this is a possibility. We still have a LONG way to go, and things need to fall into place for this all to work. For the first time in YEARS I am feeling some hope. I am terrified, but excited too.
C and I have decided to jump back into the treatment circus and complete one last IVF in our attempt to become parents. This has taken me four long years to even consider and now we are on the fast track. As you might remember, we have done this essentially four times before and have not been able to maintain a pregnancy past a few weeks. After my exploratory surgery almost four years ago, we decided it was time to take a break. My life had been consumed and we needed to heal both physically and emotionally. Two years ago just as we were ready to start considering one more IVF, we were approached by my coworker about possibly adopting her daughter's baby. We moved full force into the adoption world, as we really felt that God was showing us the way to parenthood with this adoption. Sadly, that path did not end with us as parents. We were more than devastated but truly are not angry with the birth mother and will always wonder about her son and pray for his health and happiness. Chris has spoken to the grandmother and we know he is doing well. He will celebrate his second birthday this week.
After the adoption failed, we were lost once again. I am not going to lie... C and I were both very angry with God. We just didn't understand why he had shown us this path only to take it from us. We know that we can't truly understand his plan, but we have struggled with our faith as we have endured so much heartache in our quest to become parents. Once again we stepped back and started to enjoy life, but always felt that something was missing in our life. We know more than anything that we want to be parents. I fell into a deep depression after the adoption failed and have worked hard to get back out. I was so lucky to find a psychologist that specializes in infertility and has personally endured many of the things that I have. I have been seeing her once a week since March, and it was with her help that I was finally able to become unparalized and make some decisions.
We are very fortunate to live in a state where infertility coverage is mandated for insurance companies. However, there are limitations, and we are at the end of our coverage. We are "allowed" one more IVF, so we knew we had to make the best choice. I have been terrified to do this last IVF as it is just that... our last attempt. I don't think that I have the emotional strength or the finances to do this beyond this cycle. So, we wanted to make sure we were in the BEST place for this cycle and not have ANY regrets in the end. After some research, we decided that we would go with a clinic that is considered one of the best, if not the best in the country. There are SO many variables in an IVF cycle, and we felt that this clinic had the best to offer. They are at the forefront of research and are pioneers when working with women like me.
We started with a phone consult back in August. We had to wait 6 weeks to even get this appointment. I was honestly ok with that, because I still needed to build up the emotional strength. In the meantime I had to gather all of my records from the five doctors we have seen locally and fill out extensive paperwork. It was hard to go through and relive all of those failures, but I also know that it was healing in some ways. We spoke with the Dr and he felt that we had some good chances with his clinic but we needed to come in for some tests. We made the decision to travel out there to get some answers. Answers... the second best thing that could come out of this.... Of course getting pregnant and having a child is the ultimate goal, but it we can't manage that, we would like to at least have some answers as to WHY we can't get pregnant. We have not had any answers up to this point and that is probably one of the most frustrating parts of all of this.
We had to base the appointment on my schedule, so we travelled to Denver at the start of this week. This clinic specializes with out of town patients who can't find success locally. We had a full day of tests and meetings on Monday. I was terrified since I have not had any tests in over 4 years. I was worried that my body was shutting down and that we had waited too long. Thankfully, this is not the case. My levels actually came back great and everything "looks" good. While this is great news, it still doesn't give us any answers.
We still have several tests left to get back, including some extensive genetic screening. One of the appointments while we were there was meeting with the Genetic Counselor. It was one of the most informative hours I have spent in my life. She was so knowledgeable and was able to explain many things to us. Chris and I will both have our karotype done to see if there is an underlying genetic issue. Our embryos will also be tested. This is the MAIN reason we are going to this clinic. One theory is that our embryos don't implant due to a genetic defect. If we know this is the fact, we can close this door and move onto adoption. If we have some embryos that are normal, they will know which ones are the "best" and use those. I know this is way scientific and some of you might even wonder if we are going too far. Please know that I have thought long and hard about this, and feel that this is what we are supposed to do. We will NOT know the genders of the embryos or any other information about them- only that they are healthy.
So..... we are planning to do this final IVF soon. As of right now, I will be heading to Denver on November 5th- the day after my last grad school class! :) I will be missing up to 2 weeks of school, but my principal has been very supportive up to this point and he knows this is a possibility. We still have a LONG way to go, and things need to fall into place for this all to work. For the first time in YEARS I am feeling some hope. I am terrified, but excited too.
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