Other stuff

Thank you for all of your love and support over the past week.  This is my place to dump all of my emotions so that I can carry on in my daily life.  And while infertility and my baby lust does define a big part of who I am, there is so much more to my life. So this post is all about that stuff... the "other" stuff.

I've started running again.  It's a slow start but I am really hoping to be able to run the 5k on the 4th of July.  I've walked it the last two years, and am hoping that this is the year I can finally run it.  I don't do well in heat, so this could be a crazy goal, but we'll see.  I am training using the "ease into 5k" app on my phone.  I am fortunate to have a coworker who has run with me in the past agree to train with me.  She is getting married in June, and wants to lose weight before her wedding.  She is the same coworker who went with me on my shopping trip- so we are just a good "match" for each other. Abi has been a great friend and has listened to me as we've endured the ups and downs of the last year.

I spent yesterday with Abi and a few of her bridesmads.  We got all of her wedding invitations put together.  It felt nice to be able to put my talents to use to help my friend.  I've also been working to get my etsy shop stocked again with some new card designs.  I had an idea to create Mother's Day cards for people like me and others who find Mother's day a hard day.  You can see on of them here. Hoping to get things up and running again with PB creations so that I can help offset the costs of our adoption advertising.  I've had a few orders lately, so that has helped fuel my creative soul to get things done.  I was on such a roll with things and then we learned I was pregnant and spent two months in limbo.

And that's just the hard part.  I start to feel human and get my life back and then WHAM- I end up pregnant or we have an adoption fall through.  It takes the wind out of my sails and I can't function.  I am hoping and praying that I can keep my momentum this time- no matter what.  I need to keep focus on those other things.

I'll leave this post with a photo of Chris and I on Easter.  Man, I love this guy- even if he can't handle a serious photo to save his life!

I did it!

I finished the Shamrock Shuffle 8k.  I did it.  It wasn't pretty, and there were tears, but I did it!

It was unseasonably warm here in Chicago today.  It was close to 80 by the time I started the race.  I don't do well in the heat, and I didn't train to run in the heat.  So in the end, I had to walk most of the race, but I finished it!

I'll post a longer recap tomorrow.  I'm tired and sore and so very glad it's over.  Only 5k's for this girl in the near future!

Here I am with my amazing friend and coach who kept me from quitting (which I came VERY close to doing at mile 1!)

It was hot, and I am really not doing well in this photo... but I was DONE!  :)  Thanks for all of the virtual support today.  I sure needed it and felt it!  :)

Running Update

I took a few weeks off from running... which looking back wasn't the best idea, but oh well!  I was crazy busy before Spring Break with the yearbook and then there was Spring Break.  I took my running gear with me to Aruba, we just never had the inclination to go for a run!  :)

So, I have run three times this week in preparation for Sunday's big race.  Monday I ran with some coworkers and did 1.6 miles, and then both Tuesday and today I did 2.5 miles.  I am still not at the pace that I would like to be at in order to finish the Shamrock Shuffle in the allotted time.  I can't remember if I was better trained last time or not.  I did finish at about an hour last time, and this time I am *really* hoping to finish before the course closes after 1 hr 15 minutes.  Yikes!

So, please think of me on Sunday morning as I attempt to run this darn race.  It is WAY out of my comfort zone.  I do think that I will have people run with me the whole way, which is much better than the last time I had to do it all alone!  It's an 8k which is about 5 miles- twice the distance that I have run yet this time! 

We also have the swim team end of season banquet tomorrow night.  Looking forward to a good time with good friends with minimal drama.  We have to go downtown to get our packets on Saturday and then the race is Sunday.  I am pretty bummed that I have NO downtime at all this weekend.  Might have to take a mental health day at some point next week. 

So- please say a little prayer that I am able to finish the 5 miles on Sunday!!!

Quick Run Update

Just a quick run update.  I'm downtown for a date night with Chris and he is still at the swim meet.  Took advantage of the fitness center at the hotel.  :)

Week 3 Day 3
1.55 miles (ran at a 12:00 min pace!)
Treadmill at hotel

It didn't sync to Nike+,   but I found a work around for that once I am back home.  I am over 100 miles total though!  :)

Looking forward to dinner at the Melting Pot.  Looks like I'll be consuming many more calories than I just burned!

State Testing DONE!

The ridiculous state testing is DONE for the year!  We've had two tests a day which has consumed at least half of the day for the past three days.  So very glad that we are done and now I can teach the kids what they really need to do in LIFE not just for the state assessment.  This is the time of year that I remember why I teach!

I ran again tonight after school inside.  Hoping to try running outside for the first time on Saturday morning.  We'll see if the weather cooperates.  Today's Stats:

Week 3, Day 2
1.06 miles (had to cut cool down short)
Hallways at school 

I did attempt to walk Romeo when I got home.  We only made it around the block, and he almost killed me.  Ok, not really, but it was hard.  He is used to running more with Chris and I can't run with him.  He is close to 100 lbs, so when he wants to run, it's hard to contain!  We don't walk him on a leash as much as we should.  I am going to make it my goal to train him over the spring and summer so we can both get the exercise.  I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable running with him- he's too big for me!  If anyone has tips for training a giant beast to walk on a leash, I am all ears!

Trying to embrace life with one dog, but I do miss my sweet Patches so very much.  Chris cleaned house today (I am so very lucky!) and cleaned up her bowl.  It made me cry seeing it in the sink and not where it is "supposed" to be.  We have her collar in the living room too, and I find myself tearing up when I see it.  I know she is at peace and she had a good life. It's just hard to not have her be a part of our life.  She's been here since before our wedding day and has been part of every aspect of our lives since. 

We did decide to take another vacation over Spring Break.  Now that we have just one easy going Lab, we can have someone come and care for him easily. We've banked Marriott points from swim team meets and also from all of our trips to CC.RM over the past 18 months.  So, we're cashing them in and heading to Aruba for five days over spring break!  It'll be nice to have some time away to reconnect and really get our heads together.  Really hoping this will be our last trip for a LONG time as we become parents. 

One more day of work this week!  Hoping to return to somewhat of a routine with the kids tomorrow and keep us all focused until spring break!

Random thoughts from a 1 dog house...

Adjusting to life with only one dog.  This morning was really tough, and I still keep thinking she'll be coming around the corner at any point.  It totally changes my morning routine and tonight is the first time I am home alone without her.  She needed lots of attention in the past few months, so it's strange not to worry about getting her outside all night.  Romeo seems a little depressed- but I bought him some tennis balls and he is happily shredding one as I type this. 

Today was the first day of the mandatory state testing.  I HATE this test.  My students are required to take the grade level test, even though they are reading 3 grade levels below and have IDENTIFIED DISABILITIES.  This is the test that the state bases just about everything on, so the stakes are high and tension is thick.  I only had one student in tears today, so I guess I can call it a success.  This is also the first time I am giving the tests without an aide, which is VERY tough when you have one in tears and you need to read the test to the rest of the class.  (I can read the math test to them, since it is all word problems, but can't read the reading test at all.)  It's just a stressful time for these kids.  I rant about the test each year, so I won't go into any more detail tonight.  :)


Just a quick running update (mostly for myself to keep track!)  I haven't run since last Thursday, which is WAY too long between.  Now that I am not having to rush home for a sick puppy, I am hoping to be on a more regular schedule.

Week 3 Day 1 (90s run, 90 s walk, 3min run, 3 min walk, x2)
1.26 miles
Hallways at school (oh, how I can't wait to be able to run outside!)

Need to do some housework as I have neglected it since Patches became very ill.  I can't bring myself to clean up her bowl, so for now I will just clean around it.

Off to give Romeo some extra attention tonight. 

What a week!

Oh my bloggy friends, I have neglected you this week.  It's been a crazy week since I last posted.  This post might be a hot rambling mess, so be forewarned!  :)

Chris' boys had a ROCK STAR State Meet.  The team ended up 14th overall- the highest in school history. Individually, several kids did very well.  Our diver ended up 7th overall, and our 500 swimmer ended up 6th.  Several other boys ended up in the top 12, as did one of our relays.  So very proud of Chris and the team.  I am so very thankful that I had the opportunity to be there with him.  I spent lots of quality time with one of my most favorite swim families, so it was a great weekend all around!

Chris is happy high school season is over, which means he is only at the pool for 5 hours instead of close to 8 every day.  He is at the club's Senior State Meet this weekend, and the kids are really doing well there, too.  One more weekend and he will be on a break until after my Spring Break.

Things are crazy busy with school for me right now.  Lots of stuff due on March 1st including trimester grades and purchase orders for the remainder of the school year.  Kids have spring fever big time (ok, so do teachers) and we have the dreaded state testing next week.  I just might be counting the days until Spring Break!

Chris got his coaching check and we also got our tax refund.  We are trying to find a way to get away to some sun for a few days over Spring Break.  For a short time, it looked like we might be able to sneak away to St Lucia again for a short time, but flights were crazy expensive by the time we decided.  I spent way too many hours online researching places for us to go and we still haven't made up our mind.  I am torn about spending the money to go on vacation right now, but in my heart I know that Chris and I both need some time to reconnect and relax after everything we've been through since September.  Chris is supposed to be looking at options during his down time at the meet, but I am not sure how much of that he is doing. 

I've also run twice since I last blogged.  The runs were spread out due to the craziness, but I did them!  So I've done Week 2 days 2 & 3
1.36 miles
Ran halls of school

Hoping I'll be able to run outside tomorrow sometime.  It's cold and snowy, so it isn't looking good.  Otherwise I'll have to run on Monday.  Week 3 gets even tougher!  The race is now 1 month and 5 days away.  YIKES!

And then there was the third strike... or + sign depending on how you look at it I guess.  A third coworker came "out" to me after school on Friday.  She's pregnant and due on the SAME DAY as coworker #1.  I saw this coming as my sixth sense had already kicked in.  It was an interesting conversation that I am still processing and I have the start of a blog post swirling around in my head.  So, look for more on that later.  This is her second child and I knew this was going to start happening... I'm being lapped by the "second round" of coworkers now...

I was pretty angry/sad/anxious when I got home from work on Friday.  I am thrilled for this friend and our conversation was sweet, but it still stung.  I tried to express my feelings to Chris, and he just doesn't see a connection between other people's pregnancies and our infertility.  I've come to respect his opinion on it, but it doesn't help me when I go to the dark place sometimes infertiles go to.  He's out of town at the meet all weekend, so my weekend was wide open to do whatever I wanted.  I had thoughts of drinking multiple bottles of wine, but then I realized that I could DO SOMETHING with my anger/sadness/anxiety. 

So, I remembered that there was an adoption conference being held by a local organization today.  I had dismissed it, because I knew Chris was going to be at the state meet.  I checked the website and found that they were in fact accepting walk in registrations.  So... after some gentle shoves from my good friend Mandy, I decided to go.  It was SO far out of my comfort zone and my anxiety levels were high most of the day, but I did it.  I drove 90 minutes each way and attended a conference all by myself.  I'm not going to go into deep detail about the conference in this post because I have lots to say about it and it deserves its own post.  However, I am going to say that I am pretty proud of myself for taking this big step and I even talked to the attorney we worked with back in 2007 and got some information and will be calling her to set up some services with her. 

I have school work and housework to keep me busy for the next 24 hours until Chris gets home.  I also plan to go through some of the handouts from the conference tonight and try to process it all a little more while it is fresh in my brain.  :)

Hope you are all having a fabulous weekend!

Science Fair Jail, Running, & Swimming

For the past two days, I have placed children in what I have lovingly referred to as "Science Fair Jail" after school.  I'm happy to report that all of my darlings will in fact have a finished board for tomorrow's presentations.  It has meant two VERY late nights at work this week, but it is worth it to have the kids feel the sense of accomplishment of a finished board.  So many of my kids just don't have the support at home to complete projects like this, so we have to do it all within the school day.

I am a little sad I won't be there tomorrow for the actual fair, but know that my kids will be in good hands with one of my favorite substitutes and another colleague.  I am glad that the Science Fair is now done but not looking forward to the late night on Monday grading everything.  I am so fortunate that one of my collegaues has given up his plan period for just about the last month to help me out in Science every day.  One of the budget cuts last year was my instructional assistant, and I miss her dearly.  It's hard to work with kids at such varying levels all on my own.  My colleague teaches the Social Studies class for my kids, so I will be repaying the favor when we start the big International Fair project after spring break.  I am so fortunate to work with such a great staff.  With all of the negative press about teachers right now, it makes my heart smile to remember that there are those of us in the trenches every day making a difference for kids, no matter what the media says about us as a group.

I ran again today after I released the darlings from Science Fair Jail.  Here are today's stats:

Week 2, Day 1 (5 min warmup, 90 sec run, 2 min walk X6, 5 min cool down)
1.36 miles
Halls at school

I did ok on this, and I was worried about the first day of the new week.  I didn't even check the run time until after 60 seconds, so that means that the program is working, I think!  The last run was tough and I definitely had to push through it.  I love that I am able to use the Nike+ app to post to Facebook when I start a run.  Then anytime someone hits like on it, I hear a cheer as I run.  Too fun!  The app was definitely worth the $1.99!

I am noticing that I have a sore back tonight.  I am wondering if running the halls is harder on the body than a treadmill.  I also know that I run very heavy on my feet.  Need to work on technique for sure.  Does anyone have any tips or resources for this novice runner?  It seems silly to say that I need to learn to run, but I do.  I need to learn how to be lighter on my feet I think.  Anyone have any thoughts?

Tomorrow is the big day- It's the Illinois State High School Swim Championship.  It's really exciting, and I am so glad that I get to go and cheer on Chris and his boys.  It is a crazy event and seating is VERY limited.  I am meeting parents at 7 am so we can get in line to get wristbands in order to get into the seating area.  We already have our tickets- those are a premium too.  The wristbands just get us a spot in line to get into the seating area.  Then we have to spend the day in the gym until the pool opens to spectators at 2:30!  Looking forward to spending the day with the parents and hopefully seeing some really fast swims from Chris' boys.  I love the sport of swimming, and love to watch it anyway so this is a big treat.  I took a personal day from school so I could go, and I am really glad I did.  I am really NOT a fan of big crowds, so I am going to work hard to just go with the flow of it all!

Finals are on Saturday.  We are hopeful that his relay(s) and a few of the boys should make it.  It's going to be an exciting and exhausting few days.  I am so proud of Chris and looking forward to celebrating with the team tomorrow night.  Illinois is a very competitive swimming state, so there should be some really fast swims over the two days. 

Off to treat myself to a bubble bath for completing science fair and running and as a calming measure before the swim meet!  Have a wonderful weekend!

Week 1 Complete!

I've finished the first week of the c25k program.  :)  Yay me!

The first two runs were on the treadmill in a friend's basement.  Today I ran the halls of school.  Yep, teachers run in the halls after school is out!  It didn't feel great, but it wasn't too bad either.  I also started using the Nike + app on my phone to keep track of distance and runs in addition to the C25k app.  Worked well, but I don't know how the mileage accuracy is while running inside a building.  It was neat to see it mapped out on the nike+ website, though!  Looks like I was running in circles.  :)

So today's stats:
Week 1, Day 3
Running Halls
1.27 miles

Trying to get some things done tonight- I actually have three computers running different tasks right now.  I am a total tech nerd.  I printed photos for the kids science fair boards and am completing some professional development that has to be done by March 1st.  As I sit here, I feel some pain creeping in, but I am reminding myself that it is a good kind of pain that comes from muscles learning to react to exercise.

Feeling good about the progress we are making on the adoption plan.  Need to contact a few attorneys and facilitators and make a decision about which way we are going to go once our homestudy is complete.  There's just so much to consider in the process.

Long day tomorrow- detention duty & "science fair jail" for students who are behind for Friday's fair.  I think I will need to treat myself to a Shamrock Shake at lunch tomorrow to get through the day!

Hope you all have a wonderful night!

Running Update

Trying to hold myself accountable to all of you with this running stuff.

Today I finished
week 1, day 2
Treadmill
Miles: 1.6

Still REALLY sore from the workout earlier this week, but I pushed through it.  Strength training of arms first, and then the running.  I did it.  :)  I am not sure I will be able to walk down stairs for the next few weeks, but I did it!

As I was pushing through the pain tonight, I just kept reminding myself that this is my chance to make my body do something for a change.  I have control over this.  I might not be able to make my reproductive system work for me, but my legs are another story.  I am slowly starting to take back my life.

I emailed the coworker from the last post.  He replied, and I feel at peace with the whole situation now.  Well, at least as at peace as an infertile girl can be with a pregnancy announcement.  :)

Off to treat myself to a bubble bath before heading out to meet friends for drinks.  Ah, the perks of not being pregnant, right?

Back in the Laces...

So I laced up the running shoes tonight for the first time.

I am attempting to do the Couch to 5k program.  I used it before, but found a really neat app for my phone that lets me use my own music.  If you are interested at all in starting to run, I highly recommend the couch to 5k program. It starts you out with short intervals of running mixed with walking for a total of 20-30 minutes three times a week.  The amount of running gradually increases over the course of the program.

Too bad I am running an 8k, not a 5k, on April 10th. That's 8 weeks from now.  Not sure I will be 100% ready, but here's hoping that I am able to finish.

Today's stats:
Week 1, Day 1
Treadmill
1.67 miles

I am sore, and my good friend/personal trainer had me do a strength workout before I ran.  I have a feeling I am going to be really sore tomorrow.  It was nice to spend the time with friends.  I even did a load of laundry while I was there.  (New washer will be delivered on Friday!  Yay!)

At one of the tough points in the run today, I just kept thinking that this is something I can control with my body.  I can take back what infertility has robbed me of.  I can make my body do something if I try hard enough- unlike infertility.  As a nice aside, I am hoping to lose some of the weight that a decade of infertility drugs has graced me with. 

Hoping you all will keep me accountable too.  I need to do this for myself.  I need to feel some success with my body.  So, if you don't see anything about running for a few days, please remind me!  :)

Ok, off to soak my sore muscles in the tub!

Too Much Knowledge Isn't Always a Good Thing

So AF is here in all her glory. 

It's hard not knowing what is exactly going on with your body.  I've spent a decade knowing the intimate workings of my reproductive system. I wish I could go back to being ignorant about it all.  I don't know what it is going on for sure, but I have some theories. I hope the day comes that I won't think about it anymore.  That I won't know what cycle day I am on.  That I won't think about what could be going on with my body. 

I do know that my PMS symptoms this time were VERY intense.  I am hoping that is not a sign of things to come and is just my body still adjusting post miscarriage.  I can't imagine having the intense symptoms with every cycle for the rest of my life. 

I had really hoped that we could have a really nice romantic Valentine's Day celebration this year after the disaster of last year.  Thank you AF for ruining that plan.  Thank goodness for pain meds and a busy day today to keep me moving forward. 

Thank you for all of your support and comments.  I've said it before, but I really can't say it enough.  I don't know what I would do without this blog and those of you who read and support me.  It helps so much to get my crazy thoughts out of my head and I know you all get it and won't judge me.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Chris has a HUGE swim meet this afternoon for his high school team.  His team has the chance to win the conference title for the first time in the history of the school.  There are two other teams that usually dominate everything so it will be awesome if they can pull it off!  Looking forward to spending the afternoon with the team.

Tomorrow is our day to spend together.  Hoping to get some new running shoes and get my ass moving.  Did I mention that I signed up to run an 8k on April 10th?  I haven't run in a year.  And even before that I wasn't doing much.  Hoping this will give me something to focus on.  Maybe I can finally make my body do something that I want it to do!

Intentions and One Little Word

I really meant to post this yesterday, but Chris and I had a great New Year's Eve and really didn't do much of anything yesterday.  We lounged around, watched silly TV and napped.  It was a great day!  :)  Hopefully NYE was my last night of enjoying adult beverages for a long time.  I may have lived it up a little more than I should have, but oh well!

So, a few years ago I stopped making resolutions and instead making INTENTIONS for the coming year.  So here are my intentions for 2010:

1.  Be hopeful
This also happens to be my one little word for the year.  I am trying hard to be hopeful in everything I do.  Infertility has robbed me of hope and I am slowly starting to reclaim it.  I am going to start with being hopeful that we will finally get our miracle at the end of the month.  I am going to be hopeful that things will go as planned.  I am going to be hopeful about our financial situation and our jobs.  I am going to be hopeful that life is good, and that we are going to be ok.

2.  Live a more healthy life
Pregnant or not, I have got to start taking better care of myself.  I have let my exercise routines go in light of all of the IVF drugs and such.  I am going to start walking more, and while I hope running is not in my future, I will pursue it if this FET does not work.  (But it is going to work.... see #1) I am going to be better about eating healthy and make more of an effort to stay on top of the grocery shopping so we have healthy options to eat. Now that I am done with grad school, I have time to learn how to prepare better foods.

3.  Organize my home and classroom
I have let some things slide while doing the IVF and just with life in general. We have made some great progress with our little old house, but we need to work on getting rid of the clutter.  I need to work on getting rid of things and letting go.  Keeping things doesn't help fill the emptiness.  I've started with my closets, and hope to finish the rest of the house by the end of the year.  With the construction at school, I had to pack up my classroom.  I still have boxes of that I have not unpacked.  I do so much better in an uncluttered space, and I am sure my kids do to.  I need to work on getting things organized so that I can be a role model for my students.

4.  Continue to put my Marriage first
We've come a long way, but I need to remember to put my marriage first and be a better wife.  This will be very important if we truly are blessed with a baby this year.  I am a strong believer in that parents need to be spouses as well as parents.  We need to work through some of our issues, but I know that we are headed in the right direction. Sometimes knowing when to let something  go is the most important lesson of all.

5. READ & CREATE

Since starting grad school, I have not read as much as I would like.  I love reading, and I know that I need to "practice" what I preach to my students.  I have books lined up on my nightstand just waiting to be read.  I need to step away from the computer more often and pick up a book.  Getting lost in a book is one of the greatest pleasures and I have been missing that for the past few years. I have also let my creative side down the last year.  I have a beautiful studio (that needs to be organized, see #2) that has everything I need to be creative.  My soul needs that creative outlet.  Again, unplugging once in awhile to head into the studio is a MUST in the coming year.

So there you have it- my intentions and word for the year.  Hoping that 2010 is the best year yet!

Back in the Grind!

Well I didn't even make one day back to school without missing a blog post... Oh well!  I had a rotten night of sleep Sunday night but made it through the day.  The kids were great... I do love my class and what I do.  It took me most of yesterday and today to get things organized thanks to the snow day the last day before break.  I am actually pretty much planned for the rest of the week and am feeling pretty good!

I procrastinated and had to spend last night and tonight doing grad school homework.  Oh well... it was nice to have a break while it lasted!  I finished the paper and read one chapter.  I need to read two more chapters and outline a few things for my thematic unit before class tomorrow, but I am feeling much less stressed than I was on Sunday night.

I have managed to walk both days after school. We've only done a little over a mile, but that is more than I have done in months!  Hoping I can keep the momentum going and maybe even get up to running a little next week.  We will see.

Still trying to think about how I want to document my journey to becoming a woman of grace... that is my word for the year.  I have caught myself thinking about it each morning, so I think it is starting to become a part of who I am.  I just have a great deal of work to do before I get there!  :)

No deep thoughts tonight... must go finish some homework!
I will leave you with this photo of my sweet Patches. She is getting rather demanding in her old age!

Monday Update

It's Monday... and I am tired! I seem to be getting back into good health for the most part. A few sniffles are still here and I have a strange ache in my shoulder/upper back... but I am not miserable like I was last week. I hope that I am on the mend and will be healthy for some time now. I still need to follow up with my family doctor and probably a dermatologist from the allergic reaction at the end of last month, but who has time for that?

School is busy... both my classroom and my Grad program. I started the next class last week and there is a significant increase in homework for this class. I am WAY behind in reading (which is what I SHOULD be doing right now!) but my two papers are done and my presentation for class on Wednesday is almost done. Feeling pretty good about that right now. From the syllabus, next week looks a little bit lighter, so that is good. I do need to start working on some of the bigger projects for the class though.

I haven't been running or walking at all since school started. MUST GET BACK INTO A ROUTINE ASAP.... Who am I kidding? I do need to get started soon, since I have commited to running (or walking) a 5k again on Thanksgiving. It is hard to believe that all of this running stuff started almost a year ago. Now our friends are all obsessed and I am still trying to get into it. Oh well! Maybe some day I will enjoy running... maybe?

Chris was gone most of the weekend for swimming and for a training run. The marathon is only a few short weeks away now, so he is deep in training. I will be glad when it is over and I can have what little free time he has back. :-) He doesn't have practice on Friday night so maybe we will even try to go out for dinner... wouldn't that be nice? I would like to try to get in a weekend away some time this fall. It may not work out, and I may have to settle for just one night, but we need some time away. We'll see. Swim meets start up again this weekend but there are a few free weekends here and there.

Dealing with what I feel was another early miscarriage... I just know my body. This time there was a faint positive test to back it up, though. Since I was on the steroids for my allergic reaction, I think that had something to do with it. I really need to schedule an appointment with a reproductive immunologist just for a consult. I really feel that it is an immune issue with us since our embryos are always good and I have had several documented "chemical" pregnancies and several more that are undocumented like this last one. I know we need to do something, and I am getting close to making some steps. Chris is worried that it will be more than I can handle since I was so stressed at the start of the year already. Maybe he is right... but I know that doing NOTHING for the past year hasn't been healthy either.

Ok... I really should go get some reading done....

Monday Perspective

Chris is home after his travel trip. He is a brave man! He took 28 teenagers to Minneapolis for a swim meet and the Mall of America. I was mad that he had scheduled the meet this weekend... one of my good friends from work had her wedding this weekend as well. I hated going to the wedding by myself, but it kept me from having to chaperone the trip! I don't like when he is gone, so I am always in a better mood once he gets home!

I didn't make any calls today. I did have lunch with friends and then had to "catch up" with Chris. There is always tomorrow, right?

I am planning to run... okay WALK another 5k on the 4th. Ever since Romeo decided to pull me down our front stairs, my knee has been bothering me. I tried to run on Saturday morning, but had sharp pains in my knee. Probably not a good sign. I have been walking, though. So at least I will walk the 5k. Chris has run this race every year so it will be nice to be taking part in it this year. Of course I won't be able to get the pictures I usually get though! I have years worth of photos. I may just have to talk someone into getting up early with us and taking photos. I am hoping that once I am done with summer school I can get into a routine of running/walking in the mornings before it gets too hot. By the time I get home from summer school I am just too tired... LOL. Only two more days of summer school, though! YAY!

Ok... off to watch the Bachelorette...

Weekend Recap

The Shamrock Shuffle was the culmination of our weekend get away. We had a great weekend with our friends, John and Miriam Rinaldi.

On Friday we picked them up at their hotel and headed to the Health Expo where we picked up our packets for the race. There were many booths that had some freebies as well as a strange man who smelled really bad and wanted to sell us his version of under armour. We did manage to get a full set of glasses from Whole Foods:
We then had a beer at The Billy Goat at Navy Pier. Again, there was a strange bar tender there. :) He wanted to carry on a conversation about something or another. Who knows...

We finally headed to one of our favorite restaurants- Cafe Ba Ba Reba. We had LOTS of food, lots of SANGRIA (peach was our favorite)We also had LOTS of Deserts. In fact, we ordered one of everything except the coconut one:

YUM!
On Saturday we saw Wicked, which was AMAZING. None of us took any photos of that, though! We then had dinner at an Italian restaruant by the hotel Chris and I stayed at. The food was amazing and we enjoyed some wine with our dinner, too! We took a few cheesy photos to add to our collection:And my favorite... our wonder twin bracelets:
We wore these darn bracelets ALL WEEKEND and in the end, they didn't even check them at the beer tent after the race!

Sunday of course was the race. Here is one final photo of our group that ran the race:

I DID IT!!!!

So I DID IT! I finished the 2008 Shamrock Shuffle. I didn't set any records, but I finished it. It's the longest distance I have ever run/walked in MY LIFE, so I am feeling pretty good about the accomplishment. Serious runners (except Chris of course) will laugh at my time of 1:12.38, but I am thrilled with it... it means a pace of 14.5 minutes per mile for 5.1 miles. Not too shabby for a girl that didn't even THINK about running that far a year ago. Not too shabby for a girl who has only really been running since September at all.

I am sore... I mean REALLY sore, but Chris tells me that the pain is all worth it. Of course he also told me that the best way to recover is to run more today. I honestly considered it for a minute, but it is raining outside, so no go for me. :-) I really don't think I could even bring myself to do it.

I am hoping I will look back on this run as the beginning of my running "career" so to speak. Even with as much pain as I am in, I think I will keep at this running stuff. I need to find a coach that can really help me learn to run. Chris tries, but that just doesn't work as I am not a good student with him. My end goal... to be able to run WITH him, and have this be something we both enjoy doing together. I need to build a great deal of stamina before that will really be a possibility. He thinks I need to come up with a better goal, but in the end that is why I am doing all of this. Sure I would love to lose some weight, and that is happening as a "side effect" of the running.

I want to post some of my reflections on the race so that I have them too look back on. So here goes...

I was VERY nervous about the race... to the point of TEARS the night before. I really didn't think I would be able to finish it. I also was afraid of being ALONE during the race. (All of our friends who ran the race are "real" runners and I knew that they would be WAY ahead of the pace that I could keep)

I started with everyone in the 11 minute mile pace. I knew that this was WAY faster than I would be going, but they wanted us all to start together. I lasted about 1/4 mile running at that pace. Looking back, that isn't too bad. Chris tells me that they were actually at a faster than 11 minute pace at that time. I followed etiquette and moved as far to the outside as I could and started walking. I lost sight of Chris in moments. That was the lowest point of the race for me. I was scared. This suburban girl all alone amidst THOUSANDS of people all running past her. Honestly, if there had been a way for me to quit at that point, I may very well have quit. I teared up a tad, but told myself to stop crying and just do the best I could. At that point I decided that I wouldn't stop unless they made me. I would finish.

I hit the first mile mark and the clock said something like 43 minutes had passed. Panic set in until I remembered that the start of the clock was for the elite and that I hadn't started that early at all. I made a mental note of the time and just started pacing myself. I would pick a point and then run to that point. Then I would walk. I just kept alternating between walking and running the best I could. When I got to mile two, the clock read 58 something. Not too bad... that meant that mile 2 had been done in 15 minutes. I had always told myself that if I did at least that pace, they wouldn't close the course on me. That was my real fear at this point.

Mile 3 came and again I was just under a 15 minute mile pace. This is also the point when I started looking back. I got the first glimpse of the police cars at the end of the race. Once again, panic set in. Maybe I wasn't going to be able to finish this thing. However, I just kept going. At this time, there were many others doing the same thing I was.... alternating walking and running. This made me feel better. I didn't want to be the only one. I paced myself with a few other people. I would challenge myself to stay ahead of one person or another. That helped me keep moving.

I had been too nervous to eat much before the race, and Chris and I had not planned well. So between miles 3 and 4 I started to feel my blood sugar drop. I was mad at myself for not preparing. Looking back, I think I could have pushed faster/farther but I was worried about having problems with my blood sugar dropping. So I didn't push myself because at this point my biggest goal was just to finish... without stopping at all.

Mile 4 came and Chris started calling. He was finished and wanted to know where I was at. He later told me that he feared that I had quit back at the start. I think he saw the panic in my face when I realized I was on my own. I didn't want to answer the phone. I had come this far on my own and wanted to finish. Silly... yes. But it was what I needed to do. Went through the last aid station and had some gatorade in the hopes of bringing up my blood sugar. Helped some, but I knew that I needed to eat as soon as I finished. Now, at this point I was under the assumption that the race was 4.8 miles long since that is what Chris had told me all along. I had no idea it was 5.1 at this point. Probably a good thing!

The bottom of my feet started to hurt, which was strange since I had not had that happen ever before. No shin splints, which was odd since I had been dealing with those during my training runs over the past few weeks. But I knew the end was in sight! We rounded the corner coming onto Michigan Avenue. It was really beautiful. I did keep looking behind me to make sure that there were still people behind me. After making that turn, I couldn't see the police cars any more, so that was a good thing.

One more panic... when I realized that the end of the race was on the other side of the bridge, which was UPHILL. Just plain mean, I tell you! Chris called again just as I was trying to run up the hill. I let it ring and just wanted to finish at this point. I rounded the corner to the end stretch and just ran. My feet hurt and I didn't even know what was going on around me. I just wanted to finish. I crossed the finish line and then the tears came. I had done it. I had finished the race. I had my chip removed and then answered Chris' final call. After walking through the ending galley area and getting a banana and some water I was finally reunited with Chris and our friends.

I had strange pain in the bottom of my feet for several hours after the race. When we finally got back to our hotel, I took off my shoes figuring I would find blisters, but I did not. Last night my heels hurt terribly. Chris was having some of the same pain. That made me feel a little better. :-) Today my legs are just really tight and my feet/heels don't seem to be an issue. I think a nice whirlpool bath is calling my name now! :-)

Saturday....

It was a busy week with school. Grades were due on Tuesday using the new system and we had to input every grade for the YEAR, so that took way more time than I wanted it to! We are also in full swing again and started a new reading program on Monday.

I ran/walked after school on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday this week. Not too bad. Thursday I made it the farthest running.. I did a total of a mile running, but only 1/2 mile in a row. I have a LONG way to go if I am going to finish 3 miles at the end of March!

Last night I went with afriend over to Notre Dame University to watch her daughter dive. It was neat to see a college swimming and diving meet. We had 2 1/2 hours each way to talk about things. She is truly a good spirit and someone I look to for advice and hope. It was a tough week for me and she listed to me process it all on our ride. I didn't have any great revelations like I had hoped, but it was wonderful to be able to work through some of the things I have been feeling.

I am hoping to get some scrapping done today. I NEED some creative time! I have a few projects I would like to work on.

We are going to Melting Pot tonight with his coaches. That should be fun. I LOVE the food there and always eat WAY TOO MUCH! One of the coaches knows the General Manager and got us a GREAT deal, so it should be fun. Too bad it will be FREEZING downtown where we get there! The high today is not supposed to be above 7 degrees. Right now the actual temperature is -4. The windchill this evening when we go into the city is supposed to be -20. YIKES!

Proud of Myself!

I am so proud of myself... I actually ran about a mile after school today! I haven't run since Thanksgiving, so I wasn't sure how I would do. I ran with a coworker.. a first for me since I have only ran with Chris up to this point. We ran around the halls at school... I know, naughty teachers! There were actually another set of teachers running as well. They are marathoners, so we aren't quite up to their pace! LMBO. A group of us are planning to run the Shamrock Shuffle in downtown Chicago on March 30th. It is an 8k.... YIKES! It is PACKED with people... I think 30,000+ run the thing, so I am sure it will be interesting! We are planning to run again tomorrow. I am actually looking forward to it a little bit. I have to admit it was nice to run with a friend. When I got home I had a nice soak in the whirlpool tub. I am so glad we splurged on that puppy!

We had an all day training today on a new reading program. I was exhausted after sitting there all day! Too funny how it is so much less tiring to be up and teaching all day! My student teacher has started now... so hopefully things will settle down and we can all get into a nice routine. Wouldn't that be nice!