Looking back on 2008

Here it is... the end of 2008. I wanted to take some time to reflect on the year before looking forward to 2009.

A few years ago I stopped making resolutions and making INTENTIONS for the year. Here were my intentions for 2008:

1. Complete Adoption Homestudy and become licensed foster parents
We really didn't do anything with this as I think we still needed time to heal from the failed adoption. Recently I have really felt a calling to look into becoming foster parents, so I know this is something we will continue to reflect on in 2009.

2. Make a decision regarding fertility treatments
This is the 800 lb gorilla in the room right now. We have talked about it, but we REALLY need to make a decision. 2008 was not the year, but I am hoping to finally find some closure in regards to treatment in 2009. I really think the failed adoption had a deeper impact than either of us realized. I think 2008 was a year of healing and learning to hope again. Both Chris and I are in a better place now and are looking forward to making some decisions in the coming months.

3. I will finish a 5k without stopping
While I didn't run an entire 5k, I sure did a lot of running in 2008! Who would have thought that I would participate in 3 separate events in one year. One of them was even an 8k! This is something that I plan to continue this winter. I plan to participate in several races again and really hope to be able to RUN a complete 5k in 2009. We even used running as the "theme" for our Christmas card this year!

4. I will have dinner with Grandma twice a month
I suppose by now you see the trend... While I had good intentions, this didn't really happen. I have recently been stopping by to see her more often and realize how precious she really is. She is a big part of the woman I am today and I am working to spend more time with her regularly.

5. I will start a Master's Program
Finally, something I can say YES I did. I started a program in August and will finish in November of 2009. It is a very intense program, so much of my time has been devoted to homework and readings for class. I am so happy that I started the program and really am enjoying being a student again. I am getting a degree in Reading and Literacy which will allow me to become a reading specialist if I choose. I already feel that I am a better teacher and feel a new sense of energy and purpose in my teaching. I wish I had started a program sooner, as I realize now how important it is to nurture myself. It is nice to put something other than infertility in the front of my mind for a change.
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I have also worked on cultivating my marriage and being the wife I know Chris deserves. I know it is cliche' but I really love him more today than I did the day I married him all those years ago. We've learned to love our uniqueness and challenges. Our marriage is truly stronger than it has ever been. I know this is all part of the plan for us and I truly hope that we have laid the foundation for us to complete our family in some way or another in 2009.

We are both happy in our careers and love what we do. We are blessed to have many close friends that we spend time with. We are getting more and more financially secure and learning how to manage our money. We continue to work on our home and have created a place that is not only comfortable for us but also a place we are proud to share with our friends and family. We are fortunate to have three pets who shower us with unconditional love (and the occasional slobbery mess!)

While I didn't accomplish most of my intentions, I don't regret any of my decisions in 2008. It was a good year, and one where I learned a great deal about myself. My life is full of many blessings and I look forward to the new challenges of 2009.

May 2009 be full of love and joy for everyone who is a part of our lives...

Christmas 2008

Wow... it has been a LONG time since I posted here! Christmas is now over, and 2008 is drawing to a close. Hard to believe that another year has passed!

In years past, I have completed Shimelle's Christmas journal. This year it was just more than I could even consider with grad school. But I love looking at the finished albums to see what we did each year. I am hoping to make a little mini album that will cover the highlights of this year to add to the collection. So... I thought I would post a little recap of Christmas here so that I can remember all of the details!I started the season on December 7th with my 2nd annual girlfriend's luncheon. It was great to have a day with the girls once again. Sadly, I only took photos of the decorations and totally forgot to take any photos of the actual event! :-( One new tradition was creating little boxes for each guest. I then asked each person to write a little note to each other and place it in the box. (The idea was from Oprah of course!) This was one of the best things I have ever done. Once everyone left I was able to read the notes each person wrote to me. Several of the guests also commented on how much they loved their little boxes. I plan to do something like this again!

We also had my staff Christmas party on December 5th at Cubbie Bear North. That was a fun night with friends. I am so fortunate to work with people that I truly enjoy spending time with. Saturday was the Swim Team Christmas party at a local Mexican restaurant. It was nice to take some time to celebrate with families that have become such a part of our lives.

The following weekend was a cookie exchange that Miriam and I co-hosted at her house. I was a little stressed since I am not a baker by any stretch of the imagination. I can do all sorts of creative things with paper... but food... that is another story all together! However, before we could even get to baking cookies.... the four of us (Rinaldi's and us) went to a BEARS game on Thursday December 11th. It was a night game of course so it was a little chilly, but we had a good time. We were out way too late and I had to work the next day before baking cookies. But I am honestly THRILLED with my cookies. We had a great turn out and had another great day. I also made little recipe books for each person to take home as a favor. These were put together LAST minute, but I loved how they turned out!

I was glad to have some time off from Grad school. It gave me some time to actually do some Christmas shopping and spend some time with Chris. Time together has become quite a luxury, but we know that this is the way our marriage works best. :-)


Once again I hosted Christmas Eve for my immediate family. I really enjoy having everyone over and decorating the house. It was nice to have everyone over for a casual meal and some quality time together- coloring, talking, and even playing Wii! I was a little worried about how things would go with some recent drama, but things really went well. We had lasagna, salad, and lumpy white stuff (made with vanilla pudding instead of pistachio... yum!) and then pumpkin pie for desert.

I must have been a very good girl this year because Santa (aka Chris) really spoiled me on Christmas morning. It was nice to have some time just the two of us, even if it is rather bittersweet. It's hard to face another year passing without our family being complete, but we know that we are truly blessed to have each other. The dogs were also spoiled with some new toys and treats as well!

We headed to my Aunt and Uncles for Christmas Day. Another quiet day spending time with family and the kids. We even got to spend some time with our newest family member, Lexi. She is Kristen's new puppy... cute as cute can be! It made me remember just how we ended up with this beast of a dog. :) He once was a cute little puppy, too!

We went to see the movie Bedtime Stories with the Rinaldi's that night. It was nice to get out and spend some time with friends. The movie was light hearted and a great way to end Christmas Day! We later celebrated Christmas with the Rinaldi's on Sunday. It was nice to just relax and enjoy some Chili. Too bad our Bears LOST and are now out of the playoffs. Seems to be the trend with our Chicago teams. :(


I am sure I am forgetting things. I really am going to try to be good about updating here.... maybe even once a week! :-) I know there is at least one of you who read this! :-)

Thank you Veterans!

As a child I looked forward to Veterans Day as not only a day off from school, but usually spending some time with my grandfather. He was an American Hero in every sense of the word... and a hero to this little girl. I miss his wisdom and guidance so very much and hope that I have become the kind of woman he wanted me to be.

I am so very grateful for all of the Veterans... from many years past to more recent veterans. As we recently saw with the presidential election, we are so very blessed to live in America where the rights and freedoms of all are protected. I am grateful for our forefathers who fought to give us the democracy we often take for granted. I am grateful for all who have gone to war to support our way of life and the security of this great nation. While I may not agree with the current war, I to support our military who are putting their lives on the line each and every day. I pray for their safe return to their families here in the United States.

I vividly remember the days after September 11th. I remember wondering if WAR was going to come to our soil... to American soil. I remember being terrified of that thought. My generation has never seen war like my grandparent's generation. Even our parent's Vietnam was different than anything my generation has been exposed to. We are so very lucky that seven years later, we are still safe in our own country. I am sure much of that has to be due to the vigilance of the military. And for that I will be forever grateful!

I have very limited military knowledge... and am not from a military family. But I am able to step back on a day like to day and say THANK YOU.

Remembering Wilson

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since Laurie Wilson... known to most as just Wilson, left this Earth. I think of her often and miss seeing her each and every day. She was one of the most amazing women ever to come into my life. She overcame so much in her life to become a strong passionate woman who had so many gifts. She was a talented teacher and coach and an amazing friend. She could make me laugh harder than I thought possible and always had time to talk. She opened my eyes to many things and for that I am forever grateful. We shared many moments and memories at school and there are days that I expect to see her walking down the hall.


I know that she is at peace now and pray that she is able to see what a HUGE impact she had on my life and the lives of so many. Today I remember Wilson by making sure all of the people who matter in my life know just that... that they matter to me.

You are missed, Wilson...

Happy Birthday Bridget!

I have lots of thoughts about the election... but will share those in another post.  I wanted to share a creative project I did... something that I haven't done in a LONG time.  Wednesday was my good friend Bridget's birthday.  She shares my passion and love of office supplies.  We wanted to create something special for her birthday.  After trying to come up with something for weeks, I suddenly came up with the idea to create a cake out of office supplies... you know, like the diaper cakes made for baby showers...

So I wandered around Office Max until I could come up with some kind of an idea.  Came home and played with my goodies... I must admit I kept a few pens for myself.  I just couldn't resist!  :-)


I am pretty happy with the end result!

The bottom layer is post-its, rolled up into circles.  The top "layers" are made from pens and mechanical pencils.  Decorations include correction tapes and erasers.  Bridget is a math teacher, so the erasers and pencils are very appropriate.  She loves bright colors and purple... so this was a perfect combo.  I got an extra cake box from the bakery and placed it in the box to add to the overall effect.  She was thrilled with it... makes it all worth while!

Reflections on Being an American Today...

I am excited at the prospect of change for our country.  I am proud to be an American today.

I got up nice and early to hit the polls close to when they opened at 6 a.m.  Little did I know that everyone else had the same idea!  But as I was standing in line, I had time to reflect on what a true privelege it is to live in America. 

At first I was annoyed that I would have to wait to vote.  And then I thought about how blessed we are to live in a country where we are given the chance to vote without fear for our lives.  We were able to wait in a comfortable location with free coffee.  In the end I waited a mere 30 minutes... nothing compared to people in other nations who wait for DAYS in order to vote in an election.

As I looked around all those in line with me, I was truly touched with the ideal that we are all part of this amazing nation... and that all of these people took their responsibility to vote seriously.  In my humble opinion, voting is not only a privilege, but also a responsibility.  One of my students did Susan B Anthony as her biography project.  If it weren't for the hard work of women so many years ago, I would not have had the chance to vote.  Don't we owe it to them... and to ourselves to exercise our right to vote?  It was nice to look around and see that more than half of the people in line this morning were women.

As a midle school teacher, I have had the opportunity to teach the election process over the past few weeks.  It has been enlightening on my part to realize that my vote does in fact count.. electoral college or not.  It was refreshing to hear these young minds discuss why people should vote and what they want to see in our next president.  Of course, I am a mere observer in all discussions and pride myself in being able to keep my own personal political thoughts out of the mix.

I am hopeful... this is the 4th time I have had the chance to vote for president.  My last two candidates were not successful.  I feel it is time for change in this country and hope that after tonight, we will in fact have a winner.  I don't want to live through another 2000!  :-)

Regardless of the end result tonight, I hope that we can become one nation.  I fear that will not be the case and we will continue to see a great divide among our people.  I hope that celebrations are just that... celebrations and no violence comes of any of it.  The reality is that history will be made with this election... no matter who wins.  And I am proud to say that I took part in it...

Am I the Only One?

I am struggling right now. It seems that I am surrounded by people who are excited to announce that they are expecting. You would think that I would develop a thick skin, but that just isn't the case. Recently, there have been more announcements than I can even believe myself...

1. Good friend and co-worker of mine. Adore her and she was the sweetest when she called to tell me.
2. and 3. Chris' coaches- one was an announcement some time ago, the other more recently. My favorite part- the actual statement "Why aren't you excited for me?" Yep, that was actually said to Chris. He later called and told her we were in fact excited. (Not sure that is the word I would use... but I am bitter)
4. This week- Another coworker's wife. Now, he hasn't actually told me. One of my amazing friends told me so that I had the time to adjust before the "big announcement"
5. I walked into class last week... new professor, new class. Professor is VERY pregnant and likes to talk about it all through class. Good fun!
6. A friend of a friend... not sure if this even really counts, but seriously, am I the only woman in the world who wants to get pregnant and can't? Did I miss some meeting about how this all works? I really thought I was well versed on how babies are made...


Of course, I am happy for each and every one of these families to be. (Some I am more happy for than others...) But I can feel the sadness deepening too. All but one of these women are younger than me... most by SEVERAL years. Have I lost my chance? Am I really just too old?

What if I really am the only one that never has children? What if I am the only one who is not part of this secret society? What if I am the only one who has NO plans for Halloween... too old to go to a party myself and don't have any children to worry about trick or treating. What if I am the only woman who doesn't have to go to Toy's R Us for the must have toy? What if I lose touch with my friends because I simply can't relate to potty training stories day after day? What if I am the only one at the millionth baby shower who has nothing of any value to add to the conversation because I have never given birth or spent any more than 8 consecutive hours with an infant? What if I am the only one who sees what an amazing father my husband could have been but never got the chance?

Ok... enough melodrama. Must prepare for an entire day in one room with twelve 12 year-olds who have both Trick-or-Treating and a Dance to be excited for. Will be a LONG day tomorrow....