I took a few weeks off from running... which looking back wasn't the best idea, but oh well! I was crazy busy before Spring Break with the yearbook and then there was Spring Break. I took my running gear with me to Aruba, we just never had the inclination to go for a run! :)
So, I have run three times this week in preparation for Sunday's big race. Monday I ran with some coworkers and did 1.6 miles, and then both Tuesday and today I did 2.5 miles. I am still not at the pace that I would like to be at in order to finish the Shamrock Shuffle in the allotted time. I can't remember if I was better trained last time or not. I did finish at about an hour last time, and this time I am *really* hoping to finish before the course closes after 1 hr 15 minutes. Yikes!
So, please think of me on Sunday morning as I attempt to run this darn race. It is WAY out of my comfort zone. I do think that I will have people run with me the whole way, which is much better than the last time I had to do it all alone! It's an 8k which is about 5 miles- twice the distance that I have run yet this time!
We also have the swim team end of season banquet tomorrow night. Looking forward to a good time with good friends with minimal drama. We have to go downtown to get our packets on Saturday and then the race is Sunday. I am pretty bummed that I have NO downtime at all this weekend. Might have to take a mental health day at some point next week.
So- please say a little prayer that I am able to finish the 5 miles on Sunday!!!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Babymoon?
When we booked our vacation to Aruba, we had no idea that it also appears to be a favorite destination for those who are on their “babymoon.” I overheard someone say that the medical facilities in Aruba are good, so I wonder if this is why so many choose to come here. But it also could be the fact that the average pregnant woman is blissfully ignorant. I mean no disrespect in that statement- it’s the simple fact that most people don’t know all the things that can go wrong with a pregnancy. They just expect that everything will be just fine. And for most people- it is.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t bothered by the bikini-clad preggos at the adult exclusive beach. (A fetus is clearly not an adult, so surely they were violating the rules, right?!) There was a different preggo each day and I definitely had some not so nice thoughts of jealousy when I realized that I could have been in their shoes right now… (but let’s face it, there’s no way a former infertile would be so far from home while pregnant) I really don’t begrudge these couples the chance to enjoy their final child-free vacation.
And then I started thinking about our situation. (You knew that was going to happen, didn’t you?!) I really had a hard time this year truly relaxing and enjoying the vacation. I am so thankful that we had the points to take the vacation and I do feel that it was a good time for Chris and I to reconnect. We were able to enjoy the adult exclusive parts of the resort and do things on our own timeline without worrying about a child (or a dog, for that matter!) So I had to reframe my mind- this is our babymoon, but not in the same sense the preggos were experiencing it.
It’s time to really walk away from the fantasy of getting pregnant. Yes, I broke up with treatment, but I still have feelings for it. You can’t end a 10 year relationship and not have some residual feelings. The feelings wane over time and it hurts less. That’s where I’m headed. That’s what I decided this vacation was all about.
As I stared out over the ocean, I made a decision. This is it. This is the end for now. I am letting go of those feelings. You can’t fully embrace a new relationship when you are still holding feelings for an old flame. I was still romanticizing treatment and not fully embracing adoption. Once I came to this realization, I was able to relax and enjoy the sunshine and ocean waves.
So in my heart, I feel that this was in fact our babymoon, our last vacation hoping for a miracle through treatment. I pray that this is our final vacation as a couple, and that our next trip will be to meet our child, wherever he or she may be. The miracle of adoption will make our family complete.
I’ll close with my favorite photo of the two of us. We’re at the gold mine ruins on the beautiful island of Aruba.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Goodbye March & Winter!
It's been a crazy few weeks. Even though March is the month of my birth, it is probably my least favorite month of the year. Life is crazy for both Chris and I with work and the weather in Chicago is miserable in March. I am thrilled that the month is almost over and that Chris and I are leaving the miserable Chicago weather behind for a few days!
Chris' Winter swim season finally ended just before my birthday. He had to deal with the wrap up of the season and prepare for the upcoming Spring/Summer season. There's always some parent drama and that finally seems to be settling down. Schedules and such are set for the upcoming season and he'll start practice and try-outs the Monday after we return from our trip.
I had to deal with the state testing and then staffing issues for next year at school. That seems to be finally settled, but we will be losing one of our secretaries due to the closing of another school in our district. It's so sad to see good people lose their jobs due to the financial situation of our state and schools. We fortunately are not facing any teacher lay-offs this year as we took the brunt of it last year. I will have to move classrooms after 10 years in the same room. Not going to think about that until we get back from our trip.
I am also the yearbook sponsor. I've done the yearbook for 9 years now. Every year I swear is the last, but I am suckered into it the next year without fail. It has consumed all of my free time for the past two weeks. I submitted the final pages on Friday, so that is off my plate for now.
Losing my sweet Patches has been hard. I keep thinking I am going to see her come around the corner, or find her sleeping in her bed. Romeo seems to be adjusting to being the king of the house, but the cat is definitely having some issues. The cat is 15 years old too, so I know his time with us is limited too. His health is not great, either.
We've not had much time to focus on the adoption over the past month. Planning to schedule our final interview for April and get our final pieces of paperwork done and sent in to the state. We also need to get things set up with the attorney so we can get our 800 number and start getting that out to people. I know that Chris and I will have some time to talk about things during our trip.
The trip.... we debated about spending the money to take a vacation, but knew that we needed to get away to rejuvenate our souls after the past year. With all of the loss and stress on our marriage, we knew we needed to invest some time into our relationship. We dreamed of recreating our dream vacation from last year, but that wasn't realistic. So, we are heading to Aruba! We were able to use Marriott points that we earned from all of our stays in Denver and swim meets. We're flying using upgrades from our flights to Denver. At least our trips to CC.RM are paying off in some ways!
We also got a random check in the mail yesterday from CC.RM. There was no letter, no stub- just a check with refund written in the memo. So now we have some extra vacation spending money from CC.RM too!
Hoping you all have a wonderful week. I'll soak up some rays for those of you stuck in the cold. :)
Chris' Winter swim season finally ended just before my birthday. He had to deal with the wrap up of the season and prepare for the upcoming Spring/Summer season. There's always some parent drama and that finally seems to be settling down. Schedules and such are set for the upcoming season and he'll start practice and try-outs the Monday after we return from our trip.
I had to deal with the state testing and then staffing issues for next year at school. That seems to be finally settled, but we will be losing one of our secretaries due to the closing of another school in our district. It's so sad to see good people lose their jobs due to the financial situation of our state and schools. We fortunately are not facing any teacher lay-offs this year as we took the brunt of it last year. I will have to move classrooms after 10 years in the same room. Not going to think about that until we get back from our trip.
I am also the yearbook sponsor. I've done the yearbook for 9 years now. Every year I swear is the last, but I am suckered into it the next year without fail. It has consumed all of my free time for the past two weeks. I submitted the final pages on Friday, so that is off my plate for now.
Losing my sweet Patches has been hard. I keep thinking I am going to see her come around the corner, or find her sleeping in her bed. Romeo seems to be adjusting to being the king of the house, but the cat is definitely having some issues. The cat is 15 years old too, so I know his time with us is limited too. His health is not great, either.
We've not had much time to focus on the adoption over the past month. Planning to schedule our final interview for April and get our final pieces of paperwork done and sent in to the state. We also need to get things set up with the attorney so we can get our 800 number and start getting that out to people. I know that Chris and I will have some time to talk about things during our trip.
The trip.... we debated about spending the money to take a vacation, but knew that we needed to get away to rejuvenate our souls after the past year. With all of the loss and stress on our marriage, we knew we needed to invest some time into our relationship. We dreamed of recreating our dream vacation from last year, but that wasn't realistic. So, we are heading to Aruba! We were able to use Marriott points that we earned from all of our stays in Denver and swim meets. We're flying using upgrades from our flights to Denver. At least our trips to CC.RM are paying off in some ways!
We also got a random check in the mail yesterday from CC.RM. There was no letter, no stub- just a check with refund written in the memo. So now we have some extra vacation spending money from CC.RM too!
Hoping you all have a wonderful week. I'll soak up some rays for those of you stuck in the cold. :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
On the Eve of my 36th Birthday...
I haven't run since Saturday. Life just keeps getting in the way! Today would have been a perfect day to get outside, but I had to get a few things done tonight. I am also coming down with a cold... I can feel it. Just in time for my birthday.
Speaking of the birthday. Dealing with the approaching 36 much better than I did 35 last year. Last year I was crossing over to the "advanced maternal age" category. This year I am in the "no maternal age" category. Embracing the fact that we are once again "young" when it comes to the average person who is adopting. However, birthdays (and other holidays) also mark the passing of time. It's a sad reminder that life does go on after infertility and miscarriage. Life keeps moving if we want it to or not.
Looking back at my 35th year is bittersweet- ok, mostly bitter with a little sweet thrown in. We've experience two great losses this year with the miscarriage and losing our dear Patches last week. We had the extensive storm damage to our home and we've parted ways with family. But there is a sweet side. We've done extensive repairs to our home and the outside looks completely different. We've paid off almost all of the extra work we had done, too. We took an amazing trip to St. Lucia and Chris experienced great success in his career.
We are happy. Chris and I are closer and our marriage is strong. We've almost finished our homestudy and are moving forward with our plans to adopt. Hoping that this is my last birthday without the title of mom, but I am not going to say that outloud. (I guess I kinda just did...) Because when the end of year 36 rolls around, I'll be sad that another year has passed.
I leave you with a photo of Chris and I one year ago. The benefit of a St Patrick's Day birthday is that there is always a party for your birthday!
Speaking of the birthday. Dealing with the approaching 36 much better than I did 35 last year. Last year I was crossing over to the "advanced maternal age" category. This year I am in the "no maternal age" category. Embracing the fact that we are once again "young" when it comes to the average person who is adopting. However, birthdays (and other holidays) also mark the passing of time. It's a sad reminder that life does go on after infertility and miscarriage. Life keeps moving if we want it to or not.
Looking back at my 35th year is bittersweet- ok, mostly bitter with a little sweet thrown in. We've experience two great losses this year with the miscarriage and losing our dear Patches last week. We had the extensive storm damage to our home and we've parted ways with family. But there is a sweet side. We've done extensive repairs to our home and the outside looks completely different. We've paid off almost all of the extra work we had done, too. We took an amazing trip to St. Lucia and Chris experienced great success in his career.
We are happy. Chris and I are closer and our marriage is strong. We've almost finished our homestudy and are moving forward with our plans to adopt. Hoping that this is my last birthday without the title of mom, but I am not going to say that outloud. (I guess I kinda just did...) Because when the end of year 36 rolls around, I'll be sad that another year has passed.
I leave you with a photo of Chris and I one year ago. The benefit of a St Patrick's Day birthday is that there is always a party for your birthday!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Quick Run Update
Just a quick run update. I'm downtown for a date night with Chris and he is still at the swim meet. Took advantage of the fitness center at the hotel. :)
Week 3 Day 3
1.55 miles (ran at a 12:00 min pace!)
Treadmill at hotel
It didn't sync to Nike+, but I found a work around for that once I am back home. I am over 100 miles total though! :)
Looking forward to dinner at the Melting Pot. Looks like I'll be consuming many more calories than I just burned!
Week 3 Day 3
1.55 miles (ran at a 12:00 min pace!)
Treadmill at hotel
It didn't sync to Nike+, but I found a work around for that once I am back home. I am over 100 miles total though! :)
Looking forward to dinner at the Melting Pot. Looks like I'll be consuming many more calories than I just burned!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
State Testing DONE!
The ridiculous state testing is DONE for the year! We've had two tests a day which has consumed at least half of the day for the past three days. So very glad that we are done and now I can teach the kids what they really need to do in LIFE not just for the state assessment. This is the time of year that I remember why I teach!
I ran again tonight after school inside. Hoping to try running outside for the first time on Saturday morning. We'll see if the weather cooperates. Today's Stats:
Week 3, Day 2
1.06 miles (had to cut cool down short)
Hallways at school
I did attempt to walk Romeo when I got home. We only made it around the block, and he almost killed me. Ok, not really, but it was hard. He is used to running more with Chris and I can't run with him. He is close to 100 lbs, so when he wants to run, it's hard to contain! We don't walk him on a leash as much as we should. I am going to make it my goal to train him over the spring and summer so we can both get the exercise. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable running with him- he's too big for me! If anyone has tips for training a giant beast to walk on a leash, I am all ears!
Trying to embrace life with one dog, but I do miss my sweet Patches so very much. Chris cleaned house today (I am so very lucky!) and cleaned up her bowl. It made me cry seeing it in the sink and not where it is "supposed" to be. We have her collar in the living room too, and I find myself tearing up when I see it. I know she is at peace and she had a good life. It's just hard to not have her be a part of our life. She's been here since before our wedding day and has been part of every aspect of our lives since.
We did decide to take another vacation over Spring Break. Now that we have just one easy going Lab, we can have someone come and care for him easily. We've banked Marriott points from swim team meets and also from all of our trips to CC.RM over the past 18 months. So, we're cashing them in and heading to Aruba for five days over spring break! It'll be nice to have some time away to reconnect and really get our heads together. Really hoping this will be our last trip for a LONG time as we become parents.
One more day of work this week! Hoping to return to somewhat of a routine with the kids tomorrow and keep us all focused until spring break!
I ran again tonight after school inside. Hoping to try running outside for the first time on Saturday morning. We'll see if the weather cooperates. Today's Stats:
Week 3, Day 2
1.06 miles (had to cut cool down short)
Hallways at school
I did attempt to walk Romeo when I got home. We only made it around the block, and he almost killed me. Ok, not really, but it was hard. He is used to running more with Chris and I can't run with him. He is close to 100 lbs, so when he wants to run, it's hard to contain! We don't walk him on a leash as much as we should. I am going to make it my goal to train him over the spring and summer so we can both get the exercise. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable running with him- he's too big for me! If anyone has tips for training a giant beast to walk on a leash, I am all ears!
Trying to embrace life with one dog, but I do miss my sweet Patches so very much. Chris cleaned house today (I am so very lucky!) and cleaned up her bowl. It made me cry seeing it in the sink and not where it is "supposed" to be. We have her collar in the living room too, and I find myself tearing up when I see it. I know she is at peace and she had a good life. It's just hard to not have her be a part of our life. She's been here since before our wedding day and has been part of every aspect of our lives since.
We did decide to take another vacation over Spring Break. Now that we have just one easy going Lab, we can have someone come and care for him easily. We've banked Marriott points from swim team meets and also from all of our trips to CC.RM over the past 18 months. So, we're cashing them in and heading to Aruba for five days over spring break! It'll be nice to have some time away to reconnect and really get our heads together. Really hoping this will be our last trip for a LONG time as we become parents.
One more day of work this week! Hoping to return to somewhat of a routine with the kids tomorrow and keep us all focused until spring break!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Random thoughts from a 1 dog house...
Adjusting to life with only one dog. This morning was really tough, and I still keep thinking she'll be coming around the corner at any point. It totally changes my morning routine and tonight is the first time I am home alone without her. She needed lots of attention in the past few months, so it's strange not to worry about getting her outside all night. Romeo seems a little depressed- but I bought him some tennis balls and he is happily shredding one as I type this.
Today was the first day of the mandatory state testing. I HATE this test. My students are required to take the grade level test, even though they are reading 3 grade levels below and have IDENTIFIED DISABILITIES. This is the test that the state bases just about everything on, so the stakes are high and tension is thick. I only had one student in tears today, so I guess I can call it a success. This is also the first time I am giving the tests without an aide, which is VERY tough when you have one in tears and you need to read the test to the rest of the class. (I can read the math test to them, since it is all word problems, but can't read the reading test at all.) It's just a stressful time for these kids. I rant about the test each year, so I won't go into any more detail tonight. :)
Just a quick running update (mostly for myself to keep track!) I haven't run since last Thursday, which is WAY too long between. Now that I am not having to rush home for a sick puppy, I am hoping to be on a more regular schedule.
Week 3 Day 1 (90s run, 90 s walk, 3min run, 3 min walk, x2)
1.26 miles
Hallways at school (oh, how I can't wait to be able to run outside!)
Need to do some housework as I have neglected it since Patches became very ill. I can't bring myself to clean up her bowl, so for now I will just clean around it.
Off to give Romeo some extra attention tonight.
Today was the first day of the mandatory state testing. I HATE this test. My students are required to take the grade level test, even though they are reading 3 grade levels below and have IDENTIFIED DISABILITIES. This is the test that the state bases just about everything on, so the stakes are high and tension is thick. I only had one student in tears today, so I guess I can call it a success. This is also the first time I am giving the tests without an aide, which is VERY tough when you have one in tears and you need to read the test to the rest of the class. (I can read the math test to them, since it is all word problems, but can't read the reading test at all.) It's just a stressful time for these kids. I rant about the test each year, so I won't go into any more detail tonight. :)
Just a quick running update (mostly for myself to keep track!) I haven't run since last Thursday, which is WAY too long between. Now that I am not having to rush home for a sick puppy, I am hoping to be on a more regular schedule.
Week 3 Day 1 (90s run, 90 s walk, 3min run, 3 min walk, x2)
1.26 miles
Hallways at school (oh, how I can't wait to be able to run outside!)
Need to do some housework as I have neglected it since Patches became very ill. I can't bring myself to clean up her bowl, so for now I will just clean around it.
Off to give Romeo some extra attention tonight.
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