End of the Summer

Today is my last day of summer... :-( I have spent most of the week in my classroom with preperations for the year. I purged pretty much the entire room, which felt really good. I have to go back this afternoon for a meeting and then hope to finish the organizing. About 3/4 of the room is done... it is the last 1/4 that is the hardest!

I really am looking forward to going back to work. I love what I do... most days. It will be another challenging year as I will have many of the same students I had last year. But I will survive! I really love the people that I work with and really miss them in the summer. We always say that we are going to get together over the summer and we do at first. Then summer gets into full swing and we just don't do it.

I think a routine will be good for me again. Not really looking forward to the 5:00 am wake up, but it will all be good in a few weeks. My body has just gotten used to living on Chris' schedule with being up late and sleeping in. Have to switch that!

Looks like there is a light at the end of the tunnel for Chris as far as the job goes. They finally hired someone to take over one of the current Y's. We have a party with one of the families from the new Y tomorrow, so that should be fun. Sunday is Chris' godson's birthday party in the city. Not looking forward to another kids party... but what's a girl to do?

Better hit the shower... going to meet a friend for coffee and then off to get my hair cut before I head into school. I am thinking about cutting it all off... we'll see!

Puppy Drama

So this is what a puppy looks like when he gets into something he shouldn't! Mr. Romeo managed to get into something. We still aren't really sure what it is... but something didn't agree with him. I noticed that he was scratching his face a great deal, and when I looked a little closer, I realized his face was swollen. I am not sure if something bit him... or if he was stung by something. Who knows. I was a mess last night trying to deal with it all. He was really fine for the most part... he was not lethargic and not having any trouble breathing. Just itching like crazy! So we gave him a Benadryl and I tried to get a cold wash cloth on his face. Of course he thought it was a game! I was pretty worried but it was almost all gone by this morning. This afternoon he looks just fine and is as wild as ever!

Spent the last two days in my classroom trying to get things ready for another school year. Still cleaning stuff out... haven't really made as much progress as I would have liked. I got a little side tracked today, so I didn't get nearly as much as I wanted done. I did get to have lunch with the girls, which was very nice. I miss my friends from school... it will be nice to be back at work and have daily contact with them. They really are an amazing bunch of people, and I miss them greatly over the summer.

I am teaching a card class tonight at the LSS... Here are a few of the cards I will be teaching.

There are four other cards that the students will also be able to make. I am pretty happy with the way that these two turned out.

Romeo is calling me... seems he isn't used to Mommy having to be at work all day! I am hoping to take a shower before heading out to my class tonight. I just feel dirty from cleaning in my classroom all day!

Sunday Sunday

Well it's my last free Sunday of the Summer. Next Sunday will be the beginning of the school year... This is the last Sunday that I will really get to enjoy. :) I always start thinking of things I need to get done for the coming week by Sunday afternoon.

Chris is out mowing the lawn now. It was really bad... but with his allergies I still get very nervous when he is mowing. Two years ago we had to call 911 after he got stung by a bee. We are still nervous around those little buggers. Earlier this summer he got a terrible allergic reaction to something... he ended up on steroids for almost a month. So I am hoping that today's lawn adventures will be easy!

Romeo is growing like a weed. He is like a toddler... into everything! He can't stand it when I am on the computer. He is always getting something to chew on so that I will pay attention to him. I ran him this morning, and thought that would last for awhile. Too bad he is already recharged and ready to go.

This is him at one of his calmer moments. I remind him that the fact he is so darn cute is his saving grace! It's just too hard to stay mad at a face like that! :)

We are heading to the Colony House later today for my granmother's birthday. It's her favorite restaurant. The whole family should be there. Chris and I joked that we should consider drinking before we go! It should be interesting. My aunt's boyfriend and my cousin's new wife should be there. How more interesting can you get than that? I just remembered that I had some pictures from grandma's 80th birthday party. I think I will go throw them into a quick album as a gift. She really has EVERYTHING she could ever want. Of course if we had kids, I could have them to something for her. Too bad that isn't going to happen. Please don't let any of them make any stupid "Why don't you have kids yet?" comments. PLEASE.

So I guess I will go head into my scraproom. Put a load of laundry in... so at least something is getting done!

Gloomy Saturday

We got through the party last night. It was hot and humid, but Chris had a great time. There were these nasty biting flies, though! Even the deep woods OFF wouldn't keep them away. It was really bittersweet. I was a little annoyed with all of the "Congratulations on getting him closer to home." It wasn't as if I had been lobbying to get him to leave the place. This was HIS decision, and he knew that I supported him 100% no matter what he decided. Am I happy that he will be 10 minutes from home instead of an hour and half? Sure. But it wasn't as if this was my victory. Another favorite comment from the night... Maybe now that he is leaving this Y, you will be able to get pregnant. Yeah, that's right. Goodness... I am so tired of stupid comments like that.

Anyway, there were lots of tears... Both from Chris and myself as well as the kids and parents. It is hard to leave such a great team... He built it from 40 swimmers to almost 200 this last winter season. District Champions, Placing at the State Meet, and even having a national finalist. I am sure he will be able to do great things at the new Y as well. Especially considering he started this team almost 10 years ago. Sometimes it's just nice to come home.

Chris' cell rang a little after 8 this morning. It was the "new" Y calling. The head lifeguard up and quit last night, so they have NOBODY to guard this morning. The executive director himself was guarding. Now, they haven't given Chris a firm start date at the new Y... He is still in Limbo. However, we both felt it was best for him to go in this morning. I dropped him off at the Y on my way to get a birthday present. He is itching to get into the new position anyway, and he can push the issue now that the head lifeguard quit. Now I am waiting for his call to go get him. We only brought one car home from the city last night, so that means that one of us has to be stranded somewhere.

We have a birthday party for Chris' best friend's son. I really don't want to go... It just really is painful. The little guy is turning 3. They weren't even THINKING about having a kid back when we started all of this infertility crap. Now they are expecting a second child next month. Strange world we live in. So the combination of kids running around and pregnant women is just more than I really want to deal with. I think that's why I pushed Chris to go into the Y... This way we will only have to stay for a short time. I hope...

The RE's office called to give me results from my Natural Killer Cells test. Sounds like a great test, doesn't it? It is on the "fringe" of accepted practice and insurance doesn't cover the test. The first test I had drawn was a few months back. It has to be shipped to the East coast somewhere and the stupid courier managed to freeze my blood... so it was no good once they got it. Gotta love that... So I had it redrawn on Monday when I was in. It was supposed to take at least a week... maybe more. There was a message on the machine Thursday night saying that the test came back "NORMAL" and to call if I had any questions. I hate when they do that. I want to know exact results... none of this normal crap. Now I have to wait until Monday and call to see what exactly normal means. I really am getting tired of having the tests all come back normal. THERE IS NO REASON WE CAN'T GET PREGNANT!!!!! Of course, there has to be SOMETHING! Now even the "fringe" tests are coming back normal. What in the world is going on. If something were to just come back not normal, we would have an answer and we could move on. Even if it means that it is time to give up. But yet we never get that answer. So we wait.

Now that Chris is off at the Y this morning, I really should get some scrapping done. School starts a week from Monday and all my time will be gone. If I could just keep myself off of this computer, I would be fine! :-)

Here is a layout I did last week. The picture is from a friend's wedding. Just a simple LO... but I really like the way it turned out.

Romeo is tearing something up... guess I better go take care of the beast. Who knew that a puppy could be so destructive???? LOL.

Joining the Blogging World

I am finally joining the blogging world. I kept an infertility journal on AOL for some time. I am not going to repeat all of that... So here is a link if you are interested...

http://journals.aol.com/pbertana/JourneytoParenthood

School starts in just over a week. I haven't even started putting my room together. That is next week's plan. I am sure I will be kicking myself but I still have a few other things to do this week. I am sad to see the end of summer... not really because I don't want to go back to work. It's all of the elusive things that I was going to do this summer. It's the reality that NOTHING got done this summer that I wanted to get done. Oh well... there is always next summer.

I've been working much of the summer at the LSS (Local Scrapbook Store). It has been a fun job and has kept me busy. I also had the opportunity to attend CHA, which is the summer trade show where all of the newest and greatest are released. That was quite an experience. I am teaching classes as well. I have enjoyed everything I have done. But I have realized that I have not been able to scrap for myself... something I NEED to do. So come fall, I am cutting back to ONE class per week. That way I can work on my own personal scrapbooking. At the beginning of the year, I set two goals for myself. 1) Get published in a scrapbooking magazine. 2) Get on a design team. Haven't accomplished either. I also challenged myself to enter some of the large contests. The year is more than half over... and I haven't done either. I have put some effort into it, but I could put much more. Now with school starting, time will be a premium. Maybe that is the push that I need.

Here is a recent Layout that I did... this is the new yummy paper by MME... Kaleidoscope

That is my sweet nephew Spencer. He is such a little cutie! He is such a happy little guy!

As for our infertility... I am just so ready for this journey to be over. However, I can't imagine stopping treatment until I know that we have exhausted all of our options. The new RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) is at least being proactive and trying to figure out what is going on. So far... we have no answers. Everything has come back "Normal." We have a few more things to complete... including a biopsy for me. We tried to sneak it in last month, but with our trip to the YMCA Swimming and Diving Championships, we were not able to schedule it. I took the darn clomid for nothing... but now I have a nice giant cyst on my right ovary. So that means another month on the "bench" so to speak. I have to take BCP (Birth Control Pills) to get the cyst to shrink. Next month we will try again to get the biopsy done. We have one more IVF covered with our insurance. Was hoping to get that in by the end of the year... but we will see.

My DH, Chris, is chaning jobs very soon. This means a HUGE change for us. You see, he is a swim coach and most of our time is devoted to his swimmers. He will be leaving a team he has been with for the past 7 years. We've seen these kiddos grow up. It really is hard to leave... but he will now be closer to home. The team he is returning to is one that he started when we first got married. Today is the farewell party from his Current team. It will be a tough afternoon for sure.

I should try to get something done today... Only one more Friday until school starts! Yikes!

Life just isn't fair

Romeo is growing like a weed.  As I write this, he is tearing around the house.  He is into EVERYTHING and keeps me VERY busy! 

I have been avoiding my infertility for some time now.  It just hurts so very much.  WE made the decision to remain with our current RE for our final attempt at IVF.  They know me there, and care for me.  In the end, that was the most important factor for me.  So we will try this one more time in June.  In the meantime, we may do a few more tests to see if we can get any answers but I am not holding out hope. 

It took FOREVER to get a period after the chemical pregnancy in December.  It took 10 days of prometrium and then 8 days later it finally started.  I have never had to wait for it to start after the prometrium.  Makes me wonder just what is going on in my body.  I had strange pain in my right ovary a few weeks ago.  Wondering if there is a cyst...  I guess I will find out today as I am heading to the RE for baseline u/s and bloodwork

Other great news... our good friends are pregnant again.  I am happy for them, really I am.  It just makes me so very sad.  One month off the pill and WHAM she's pregnant.  It's just not fair.  They were very sweet in telling us.  I hate the fact that people feel bad telling us their good news.  It's not their fault that we can't get pregnant...

 

More Non-news

It has been some time since I wrote here.  I think that we are still just letting the nightmare of December settle in.  We had the holidays and had to get through them with a happy face.  I can't imagine how I would be dealing with all of this if I didn't have this amazing husband at my side.  He is my rock... and if nothing else comes out of this battle, we have grown very close.

We met with the RE today for a follow up.  She is calling our positive/negative in December a chemical pregnancy.  That's fine... no matter what it is called, it still is another loss we have had to deal with. 

Once again, she told us that they really thought this would work for us and don't have a clue as to why it didn't work.  Everything was perfect again... except for the end result.  She wants us to try again.  She really feels that we will get pg.  I just wish I knew why this didnt work again and again.  She agreed to change the protocol a little in hopes of getting more eggs.  We'll see. 

We are thinking of getting some other consults.  Who knows.  I think we are going to put it all on the back burner for now.  I just don't want to deal with being infertile anymore...