Today is a new day. I am so thankful for my DH and the love that we share. If I didn't have him, I don't know what I would do. He has always told me that we are in this together, and that we will fight this together. At times I didn't let him in... I wanted to protect him. It has taken some time for me to let him in and see how much pain I am in. It is also very hard for me to see how much pain he is in. I feel like I am the cause of that pain, but I know that it is in fact the infertility
that is the culprit.
I have decided to take some time away from my family... at least for a few days. They simply don't understand the pain I am in. You see, they all have children. I am the ONLY one who doesn't have ANY children. They tell me I need to stop treatment...easy for them to say as they hold their babies in their arms! I love my niece and nephew very much, but yet each time I look into their eyes, I see what I don't have. I wonder if I will ever hear someone call me. "mom."
that is the culprit.
I have decided to take some time away from my family... at least for a few days. They simply don't understand the pain I am in. You see, they all have children. I am the ONLY one who doesn't have ANY children. They tell me I need to stop treatment...easy for them to say as they hold their babies in their arms! I love my niece and nephew very much, but yet each time I look into their eyes, I see what I don't have. I wonder if I will ever hear someone call me. "mom."
I just can't imagine living my entire life without being a parent. To me that is the greatest thing a person can do. In many ways, I wonder what the point of having a wonderful life is if you can't share it with a child. I know DEEP in my heart that we will someday be parents... I just HAVE to... it is my destiny.
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