Seeing unicorns?

I think for the first time in our 11 year history of family making struggles, Chris and I are on the same page.  I've heard stories about such magical moments, but never believed that they were real.  I equated such an event with seeing a unicorn in my backyard, really.  :)

While we've come to many agreements in terms of treatments and such, it always felt like one of us was more "in" than the other.  We've never made a treatment or adoption decision without both agreeing.  It just always felt like one of us was more at that point than the other. 

But we're really there now.  We are in the same place.  We are ready to commit 110% into an adoption plan.  We've been homestudy approved for months now, just hoping that the stork would deliver a baby to us with little more work.  Instead, we spent the summer dealing with the physical and emotional anguish of yet another miscarriage.  We've both agreed that we can't continue on where we are at right now.  Neither of us is feeling the same fulfillment and joy from our careers that we once felt.  We want more.  We want to be more.  We want to be parents. 

So it's time to seriously talk to some attorneys and agencies and find out what the bottom line is financially.  We have two swim team families who have approached us about helping us out financially with an adoption, knowing that we will get some money back with our tax credit.  It's hard to accept help, but at this point it's what we need to do in order to build our family.  

I need you all to hold me to this.  We MUST move forward.  We're both so stuck and need to be nudged.  I also still need to get the labs run from my CCRM nurse.  I just need to do it.  I need to know if there is something that will finally explain the last year (and the ten before that!)  I just booked an appointment at the local Que.st office for this Saturday morning.  Hopefully they can run even some of the tests I need run.  Worst case I get there and they can't, right?

So let's hope that this unicorn sighting is not the last and that we will finally be on the path that will find us our missing piece. 

Back to School

I promise to share photos of our time in California.  I left the camera at school this weekend, otherwise that is just what this post would have been all about.  For now, you'll have to read my rambles about the first week of school.

I always seem to forget how truly exhausting the week is.  As I get older, it takes longer and longer to adjust back to the routines and being on my feet all day.  My feet are killing me.  First investment this school year will be on a few new pairs of shoes that are designed for "older teachers" to stand all day.  Sadly I feel that the days of really cute shoes for school are coming to an end.  I am looking at some options that are still somewhat cute as I just can't bear ugly shoes even for comfort!  :)  Some of the teachers swear by Dansko, and I love my Keen sandals.  I've also heard good things about Merrill too.  Anyone have any suggestions for cute and comfortable shoes?

The stress is high all around at school.  Let's just say it is going to be a constant power struggle between the district administration and the teachers all year long.  Over silly things that really shouldn't be issues.  And my poor principal is stuck in the middle.  Silly things like having a working copier and using personal days on inservice days.  And every single teacher is being asked to do more with less.  Oh, and we're all going to be evaluated based on how our kids do on a single test this year.   It's just frustrating that the KIDS are the ones that are losing here.  Teachers aren't able to focus on students' needs and well being with all of this nonsense going on.  But that's what I intend to do.  Focus on the kids and just push forward.  (And it helps that it is not an evaluation year for me this year!)

I really intended to stop all technology assistance after the way the whole position went down this summer.  But I can't.  It's just not my nature.  So I've been troubleshooting IWBs, answering questions, and suggested that I hold a little training session for the new teachers on the IWBs on Monday.  I just can't say NO when I teacher WANTS to use the technology and there is no support for them.  I won't leave my colleagues hanging when they need support.  I am however going to be sure that I keep a log of all of the things I am doing so that the powers that be know that there is a NEED at our school that is NOT BEING FILLED by the woman they hired for the position.

I have lots of orders to work on for my little PB Creations business.  I need to work on scheduling time that is dedicated to continuing to grow that little endeavor.  I think I need to treat it like a part time job and really schedule hours so that I am forced to make time.  Not only is it good for business, I NEED the creative outlet.  It is a stress relief and makes me happy.  I spend my days nurturing others.  I need to make time for nurturing my own creative soul!

I will leave you with a photo of the flowers Chris sent me on the first day of school.  This is a tradition he started years ago.  I REALLY needed the pick me up this year.  He is a keeper for sure!  :)

Each year the card says,  "Have a Great School Year.  You are an Awesome Teacher."

Home

We're home safe and sound.  Had an amazing week with some really fast swimming and lots of fun.  I haven't even uploaded all the photos, but I'll be sure to share my favorites here.  I am so very proud of Chris and all he accomplished with his swimmers.  They were the highest scoring team from the state of Illinois!  All with only four swimmers!

It was hard to come home without Simba being here.  I had a little meltdown when I walked into the guest room and realized that is where he had his final days.  Our friends cleaned everything up for us and it was just surreal to see all of his "supplies" stacked up in a pile.  I don't think it has really sunk it that he is really gone.  Words can't express how grateful we are for our friends who cared for him and Romeo while we were gone.

Romeo is beyond excited to have us home.  He apparently took up residence on our bed while we were gone so those sheets are in the washing machine as I write.  Hoping they'll be done in time for me to get to bed at a decent hour.

It's back to work for me tomorrow.  I have so many mixed thoughts and emotions about that.  Sadly, I don't have the excitement that I usually feel for the start of a new school year.  Hoping that once I get there tomorrow and see all my colleagues that I will feel that.  I am so thankful that I took the trip with Chris.  It was great to clear my head and really go into the school year with a sense of peace and calm rather than being here and brooding for the past week. 

And let's face it- this has been a pretty crappy summer for me.  Here's to new beginnings and moving forward.  Fall is a wonderful time of year full of change and promise, right?

It's going to be rough in the morning.  My body will think it's 3 am when the alarm goes off...  I've already decided it will be a VENTI kind of morning!  :)

Kitty Heaven

My Simba Kitty went to kitty heaven last night.  I am on the other side of the country and wasn't able to say goodbye.  I am so thankful that we have such amazing friends who not only took care of our animals for us, but took care of him in his last days and took him to the vet after he was gone.  It's a true friend that will do all of that for you while you are far from home.

I was heartbroken last night when they called to tell me he wasn't doing well.  He was fine over the weekend, but took a turn for the worse suddenly Sunday night.  He shut himself into the closet in our guest room and wanted to be alone.  I am sad he was alone when he left this world, but it seems that is just what my sweet kitty wanted.  He was very loving before we left, and I feel that he wanted us to be away when he left this world.  I know it will be very hard to go home and know that he is gone.  But he didn't suffer long, and that he was well cared for in his last days.

He was a great kitty and was so very attached to my sweet Patches.  I know that they are together again playing and cuddling like they did when they were babies.  He thought he was a dog, and came for treats whenever the dogs would get one.  He was a talker and a cuddler.  He will be missed.  But I know his health was failing in the last year and I am so thankful he didn't suffer long.

The swim meet is going VERY well.  Both swimmers moved up in their events and scored points for Chris' swim team.  First time in the history of the team!  Another swimmer in finals tonight.  It's been very exciting!

I've also enjoyed the sunshine and haven't thought much about school at all.  :)  Hoping the rest of the week continues just as well and that I can go back home feeling refreshed and ready to face the world. 

Proud Coach's Wife. :)

We've enjoyed the weather here in California.

But today was finally the start of the Junior National Meet.  The entire reason we are here.

It was a GREAT morning.  Three swims and three best times.  Two of our boys made it back for finals tonight.  This is the first time in the history of the team. 

I am one VERY proud wife right now!  Chris has worked so very hard this summer.  And the boys swam their hearts out and it paid off.  Big time.

Hoping that finals goes well tonight and that the team will score points.  Another FIRST for the team.

I'm so happy for Chris and the boys!

~~~~

And just to make things interesting... AF started last night.  Yep, the worst possible place to have her show up.  But it also seems my body is regulating?!  31 day cycle?  That's a little bit too normal for me.  Thank goodness for Aleve and nice bathrooms at the meet!  :)

Sunshine!

Thank you for all your sweet comments on my last post.  Starting to change my state of mind and hoping to come back from vacation refreshed and ready to jump into the school year.  Hoping that the issues will be corrected next week in my classroom while I am off enjoying the sunshine and lots of pool time.  Too bad most of the pool time will be spent as a spectator at a swim meet!  :)

Hope you all enjoy the last few moments of summer!  I plan to post from the road, but we'll see how that goes.  :)

I've put my etsy shoppe on vacation mode until I return- so you won't see anything in the side bar for now.  I'll be doing lots of sketching and designing while away, so there will be lots of new goodness in the etsy shoppe in time for the holidays!  If you have custom order requests or need to contact me, please feel free to leave a comment here.  Or email me at puzzleblog(at)me.com. 

Have a great day!

Craptastic start to the school year already...

In the end, looks the district is hiring someone from the outside to take the tech position.  I am disappointed and frustrated with the entire process.  A piece of paper (that even the person currently in the position doesn't have) was more important than experience and commitment to the district.  It has shown me that this is a position I'd really like to have so I will pursue getting the certificate and then take my talents to another district in the future.  That's all I'm going to say on that.

My "new" classroom is also craptastic.  That's not helping my mood.  There are issues with missing white boards, and the interactive white board in the room was abused last year and is not in great shape.  I treated the one on my old room like a classic car... so I am devastated at how this one was treated.  I requested to have my old one moved, but apparently that isn't going to happen.

My schedule is rough too--- I teach for 5 straight hour without a break.  My plans are the last two hours of the day.  Not loving that either.

So bottom line, I need to figure out how to adjust my attitude about this all.  It was a rotten summer, and I just can't bear a rotten school year. 

So Chris and I are off for a week in Sunny Cal for the National Swim meet.  Let's hope that some sunshine can work some magic on my psyche before returning to start the school year. 

Oh, and my "new" room isn't even unpacked yet.  And we get back the night before school starts. 

Serenity NOW