I DID IT!!!!

So I DID IT! I finished the 2008 Shamrock Shuffle. I didn't set any records, but I finished it. It's the longest distance I have ever run/walked in MY LIFE, so I am feeling pretty good about the accomplishment. Serious runners (except Chris of course) will laugh at my time of 1:12.38, but I am thrilled with it... it means a pace of 14.5 minutes per mile for 5.1 miles. Not too shabby for a girl that didn't even THINK about running that far a year ago. Not too shabby for a girl who has only really been running since September at all.

I am sore... I mean REALLY sore, but Chris tells me that the pain is all worth it. Of course he also told me that the best way to recover is to run more today. I honestly considered it for a minute, but it is raining outside, so no go for me. :-) I really don't think I could even bring myself to do it.

I am hoping I will look back on this run as the beginning of my running "career" so to speak. Even with as much pain as I am in, I think I will keep at this running stuff. I need to find a coach that can really help me learn to run. Chris tries, but that just doesn't work as I am not a good student with him. My end goal... to be able to run WITH him, and have this be something we both enjoy doing together. I need to build a great deal of stamina before that will really be a possibility. He thinks I need to come up with a better goal, but in the end that is why I am doing all of this. Sure I would love to lose some weight, and that is happening as a "side effect" of the running.

I want to post some of my reflections on the race so that I have them too look back on. So here goes...

I was VERY nervous about the race... to the point of TEARS the night before. I really didn't think I would be able to finish it. I also was afraid of being ALONE during the race. (All of our friends who ran the race are "real" runners and I knew that they would be WAY ahead of the pace that I could keep)

I started with everyone in the 11 minute mile pace. I knew that this was WAY faster than I would be going, but they wanted us all to start together. I lasted about 1/4 mile running at that pace. Looking back, that isn't too bad. Chris tells me that they were actually at a faster than 11 minute pace at that time. I followed etiquette and moved as far to the outside as I could and started walking. I lost sight of Chris in moments. That was the lowest point of the race for me. I was scared. This suburban girl all alone amidst THOUSANDS of people all running past her. Honestly, if there had been a way for me to quit at that point, I may very well have quit. I teared up a tad, but told myself to stop crying and just do the best I could. At that point I decided that I wouldn't stop unless they made me. I would finish.

I hit the first mile mark and the clock said something like 43 minutes had passed. Panic set in until I remembered that the start of the clock was for the elite and that I hadn't started that early at all. I made a mental note of the time and just started pacing myself. I would pick a point and then run to that point. Then I would walk. I just kept alternating between walking and running the best I could. When I got to mile two, the clock read 58 something. Not too bad... that meant that mile 2 had been done in 15 minutes. I had always told myself that if I did at least that pace, they wouldn't close the course on me. That was my real fear at this point.

Mile 3 came and again I was just under a 15 minute mile pace. This is also the point when I started looking back. I got the first glimpse of the police cars at the end of the race. Once again, panic set in. Maybe I wasn't going to be able to finish this thing. However, I just kept going. At this time, there were many others doing the same thing I was.... alternating walking and running. This made me feel better. I didn't want to be the only one. I paced myself with a few other people. I would challenge myself to stay ahead of one person or another. That helped me keep moving.

I had been too nervous to eat much before the race, and Chris and I had not planned well. So between miles 3 and 4 I started to feel my blood sugar drop. I was mad at myself for not preparing. Looking back, I think I could have pushed faster/farther but I was worried about having problems with my blood sugar dropping. So I didn't push myself because at this point my biggest goal was just to finish... without stopping at all.

Mile 4 came and Chris started calling. He was finished and wanted to know where I was at. He later told me that he feared that I had quit back at the start. I think he saw the panic in my face when I realized I was on my own. I didn't want to answer the phone. I had come this far on my own and wanted to finish. Silly... yes. But it was what I needed to do. Went through the last aid station and had some gatorade in the hopes of bringing up my blood sugar. Helped some, but I knew that I needed to eat as soon as I finished. Now, at this point I was under the assumption that the race was 4.8 miles long since that is what Chris had told me all along. I had no idea it was 5.1 at this point. Probably a good thing!

The bottom of my feet started to hurt, which was strange since I had not had that happen ever before. No shin splints, which was odd since I had been dealing with those during my training runs over the past few weeks. But I knew the end was in sight! We rounded the corner coming onto Michigan Avenue. It was really beautiful. I did keep looking behind me to make sure that there were still people behind me. After making that turn, I couldn't see the police cars any more, so that was a good thing.

One more panic... when I realized that the end of the race was on the other side of the bridge, which was UPHILL. Just plain mean, I tell you! Chris called again just as I was trying to run up the hill. I let it ring and just wanted to finish at this point. I rounded the corner to the end stretch and just ran. My feet hurt and I didn't even know what was going on around me. I just wanted to finish. I crossed the finish line and then the tears came. I had done it. I had finished the race. I had my chip removed and then answered Chris' final call. After walking through the ending galley area and getting a banana and some water I was finally reunited with Chris and our friends.

I had strange pain in the bottom of my feet for several hours after the race. When we finally got back to our hotel, I took off my shoes figuring I would find blisters, but I did not. Last night my heels hurt terribly. Chris was having some of the same pain. That made me feel a little better. :-) Today my legs are just really tight and my feet/heels don't seem to be an issue. I think a nice whirlpool bath is calling my name now! :-)

Spring Break... Day 4 :-)

Another uneventful day. Slept in and had a late breakfast. Had lunch with Grandma, which was a nice treat. I really need to make an effort to visit her more often. I need to make plans to go visit my other grandmother as well. Dad tells me she is not doing well.

Didn't make the calls I needed to... onto tomorrow's to-do list. :-) Nothing more really on the list at all other than continuing the process of sorting photos.

I did run today for a SHORT time. I just don't think I am really going to be able to finish the shuffle. Chris keeps assuring me that even if I walk, I will be fine. We'll see. I am getting bad shin splints and I don't think it is my shoes. I have only had them since September and I am not that serious of a runner. Who knows. I need to figure that out since it is really hindering my running at this time. I think I need to seriously consider finding a trainer to get my butt in gear. I really want to LIKE running and I am just not there yet. Hmpf!

One more share for today... Here is a recent LO I did for the LOM class:



Off to finish dinner... Chicken and Potatoes... which will make more dishes. Have I mentioned how many dishes I have done? LOL.

Spring Break... Day 3!

I am finally in the swing of Spring Break. We were off on Friday for the Easter Holiday, so Break officially started then. We had a good weekend. Chris and I went to the home of two of his assistant coaches on Saturday night for a coaches meeting. It was really productive and then we decided to celebrate the teams great season. Let's just say Chris and I aren't 20-something anymore. We tried to keep up with the young'ins and ended up paying dearly! :-) I don't plan on revisiting Goldschlager anytime soon! :-) We both paid dearly on Sunday... which was fun since we hosted Easter for my family! It was nice to spend some quality time with everyone and the day went off without a hitch. Chris and I even managed to get a little run in. The Shamrock Shuffle is SUNDAY... and let's just say I will be SHUFFLING for sure!

I've been working hard on my assignments for Stacy Julian's Library of Memories class at Big Picture Scrapbooking.
I have wanted to take this class the other two times it was offered, but the timing didn't work out. I am SO happy I did it this time. I am working hard to get all of my photos organized so that I can scrapbook the way I want to and WHEN I want to without having to dig through boxes. I have almost everything sorted and am now working on getting things into the storage binders she recommends. Her entire philosophy is also outlined in her newest book, Photo Freedom I am still trying to find it locally as a resource to the class. She goes over everything more in depth in the class as well as gives us assignments and DEADLINES which is what I knew I needed.

Today I:

1. Uploaded 2004 highlights folders to shutterfly. I will be ordering those prints as soon as they finish uploading. This was the first year that I was 100% digital and I really have only printed photos here and there. One of the big things is getting your photos off of the computer and printed. I have a LARGE order to set to go for 2004 alone.
   
2. Loaded the 2004 photos that I do have into the storage binders. 2002 and 2003 are already done and FULL to the brim. I was all film then. I am planning to go back and do PRE-2002 once I have everything up to 2007 done. 2002 and 2003 each have two binders, but I am hoping the remaining years will fit in one binder. We'll see.
3. Cleaned my main scrapbook desk area. It was a MESS! The rest of the room is still a mess thanks to the LOM class and gathering all of my photos. I really hope to have it back in order by the end of break. I need to find a place for the new storage binders as well as the category drawers I have on order. I will need to do some rearranging I hope.
4. Finally filed the Christmas cards from 2006 and 2007. Photo cards have been assimilated into the LOM storage. Loving that!

I need to start on my Spring Break To-Do list tomorrow... calling the vet, the furniture warranty company, and the Dr to make appointments. The other big plan is to clean out the closet in our bedroom. We just need more space and I know there are TONS of things that we are not wearing and/or we can't find in the mess.

Off to do some dishes. Being home for three meals a day sure increases the amount of dishes we seem to create!

Birthday Recap

So I am not officially 33. Not much different than 32 so far! :-) It was a tough week leading up to my birthday, but in the end it all worked out for the best.

My girlfriends took me out to dinner on Saturday night. We went to a tappas place (not to be confused with a topless place!) and had a wonderful dinner. I had more than my share of the white sangria... so YUMMY! My friend took pictures.. I still need to get them from her. I didn't want to lug my big camera with me.

On Monday, Chris left me an iris and a card for when I woke up. When I got to school I had little treats from many of my friends and even one student brought me some chocolate. :-) He will be getting an A! Chris brought me lunch from my favorite little cafe and my good friend Jamie made a Milky Way Cake for me. We all shared that... I still have some left overs in my fridge. (Breakfast, maybe?) We had an inservice after school so Chris came back and we went out with some friends for my birthday at Applebees for a drink. After that Chris and I went to Bob Chin's for dinner where we both tried newer things for us... I had lobster and he had crab legs. Yummy, but not something we are dying to have again.

When we got home, Chris gave me my presents... a cute little Idog that matches my Ipod, the first season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD and the book Lipstick Jungle. My big gift was a GPS system for my car. Those of you who know me know that I could get lost in a paper bag, so this is something that I have had my eye on for some time. So far I have only used it to go to work and it needs some updating for sure. I am glad to have some time to play with it now.

We're hosting Easter here on Sunday and we will celebrate my birthday with my family then. I can't wait to see what treasures Katrina and Lucais will come up with!

Of course we will not be having a sunny warm easter this year... as I am typing this there is a full out blizzard outside my window... they are calling for 5-10 inches of SNOW! GRRRR... not the way I wanted to start my Spring Break! This is the first spring break in YEARS that we have not gone to Florida, so I am very bitter about this snow on top of that! Grrrrrrrr! Maybe I will just turn up the heat really high and put on my bathing suit and get in the bathtub... add a little salt and it will be just like the ocean, right?

Random Thoughts...

First off... the yearbook is DONE... at least for now! The first set of proofs have already come back so I am sure I will have plenty to do over break. It is nice to have most of that done, and I really don't have a great deal to do on the proofs, at least I don't think so. :-)

I am having a hard time approaching my birthday this year. I didn't realize how much it was really bothering me until this week and being able to talk with some of my friends about it. I hate that Chris' work schedule always peaks at my birthday. It is always a source of tension, and this year is no different. I think the hardest reality for me is that I am not getting any younger... and I am still not a mom. That's hard. Every holiday marks another milestone that I tell myself will be "the last birthday, christmas, halloween, etc where I am not a mom. And sadly the next holiday comes around. Now I am only two years away from the dreaded 35 when my chances of having a biological child drastically decrease. And to think that we have been at this since I was 25 and we are no closer today than we were back then. We are more jaded, lost more money than I care to consider, and poked and prodded every part of our bodies.

So I suppose I need to make a promise to myself. We need to do SOMETHING. Ever since the adoption failed, we have just been frozen. I am hoping to spend some time over break looking into options and making some appointments. It really is stupid that I still think there is even a remote possibility that I am just going to magically get pregnant on my own. Who am I kidding?

On another note, I finally got my hair cut last week and high lites this week. I am really happy with them. I might even try to get a photo to share. I ran a little after school today so I am not presentable right now. :-)

It's HERE!

It's here... and I am in LOVE... LOL. Busy working on the yearbook on a 20 inch screen! So much easier than the 13 inch one~

Back to work!

Running and Reflections

Its been some time since I posted... life just gets in the way!

I've been running again. Chris bought me a new Ipod Nano for Valentine's Day so that I can use the Nike+ system. I just got it all figured out and am loving it so far. I also found a free podcast that goes through each training session/week of the couch potato to 5k program. I started with week 3 since I trained in the fall. It wasn't too bad. I did all three workouts this week, and am feeling pretty sore but good about it. Today was tough, but I made it! The goal is finishing the Shamrock Shuffle on March 30th. I was doubting myself for awhile, but I am feeling stronger. I am actually looking forward to running. (don't tell Chris.. I swore that would NEVER happen!)

I was struck again today with the realization that I am not "over" the failed adoption. Just when I think I have closed that wound, the band-aid gets ripped off. Once again I was face to face with the family that had approached ME about the adoption last June. I am angry... not at the decision that this family made for the child. I support that 110%. I am angry about the fact that there has been no regard for my feelings by this family and the impact that all of this had on MY life. I just want some acknowledgment from them... acknowledging the pain that Chris and I must be feeling. It has become apparent that I am going to have to have a conversation with them. I need that closure.

I have started researching treatment options again, though. I have an "insider" who has given me some advice. I need to look into consulting with Dr. Beer's clinic. We need to do something. We've been stagnant for the past year and the time is now. We've been notified by the adoption agency that they are pulling our foster care license since we haven't done anything yet. I am hoping we can still get the process started. I am asking Chris to make that call on Monday.

Speaking of Chris, I came home today to a clean house! I love that man. My intention was to clean tonight and tomorrow but he did a big chunk of it for me today. That is a big help as I need to get a BIG chunk of the yearbook done this weekend. He has a swim meet all weekend, so I will have all the time in the world to devote to the yearbook. I am hoping I will be able to focus tomorrow on it!

This may be my last post from this laptop... My new IMac is on its way to me! We ordered it on Saturday and it is supposed to be delivered tomorow. I am beyond excited. Who thought I would ever become a Mac person? Not me! I hope it comes tomorrow, but I know that the temptation to play with it will be strong and I really need to get the yearbook done. We'll see!