Mostly Wordless Wednesday 6/16/10

This is how I feel abut my infertility right now...

What the he!! was I thinking???

So I am only a few days into the Dep.ot Lupr.on and I am wondering what the he!! I was thinking.  It's not just the depot, but the whole thing.  Am I really ready to consider putting my body and soul through this again?  Why am I willing to go through this all again?  Am I really ready? 

The reality is that I have to face the fact that I might spend the next two months a miserable mess just do the FET that only has a 40% chance of working.  I have to protect myself.  I can't let myself get caught up in the fantasy that this might all work.  I fell way too hard last time, and I just don't think I can recover from that again.  Seeing the FET calendar laid out in black and white scared the crap out of me.  I know this is what I want to do, what we need to do, but man it is hard to actually do it.

I am thankful that the end of the school year is just around the corner.  This has been a long and hard year professionally on top of our infertility.  Everyone is irritable at school and just wants to get away.  I am on edge, but I am always on edge at the end of the year.  So, I don't think the mood swings and fatigue is due to the depot just yet.

I just need to get to next Thursday when I can finally relax and take a deep breath.  Hoping I can make it!

CD #1

Today is finally CD #1.

Dep.ot Lup.ron Shot #1.

FET calendar in hand.  Tentative FET #3-  9/10/10.

Let the fun begin!

Wordless Wednesday

Remembering

Photo taken by ME at the 4th of July Parade 2009

 

Today we remember.  We remember those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for the freedoms we enjoy each and every day.  Thank you to those who have served and to those who are currently serving.  In today's climate, we often take the freedoms we have for granted.  I truly am filled with immense gratitude to those who have given their life for the USA.

I was so moved by the photos shared on The Pioneer Woman's website.  Please take a few moments to look at what "homecoming" means to so many of our military families.

A special shout out to my close friend, Mandy, and her husband Jim who is an active Marine.  Thank you for the sacrifices you have made for our country!  (I am also thrilled that I will get to spend the day with Mandy and her two little ones this week... can't wait!)

 Grandpa & me 1976

I am also taking a moment to remember my grandfather, who had a huge impact on creating the woman I am today.  He was taken from us suddenly in 2002 just before I learned of our first ectopic pregnancy.  I hope that he is taking care of all of my angel babies and watching over the child that will one day come to be our own.  He was a man of integrity and charm, and is missed as much today as ever.  He taught me what patriotism was and the importance of thanking those who have served our country.

College Graduation 1997

Take a moment today to remember.  Remember those who have given their lives in service, and those who have taught us what it means to be a true hero.

Mother Nature... Help me out, please!

Dear Mother Nature,

I think you have forgotten about me.  My monthly "gift" has now turned into a maybe every other month thing.  You've forced me to take progesterone for a week in the hopes that you will finally grace me with your presence sometime soon.  I am not a big fan of the side effects of this progesterone, as I am a tired crabby woman these days.  It has been 59 days since you last visited me.  You managed to find me in the middle of our trip to St. Lucia, so why can't you find me now?!

I can't start my Depo.t Lu.pron injections until you decide to show up.  With your tardiness, you have just cost me the chance of doing our final FET before I have to return to school.  In fact, it looks like I may have to miss part of the first week of school.  Really?  Why can't you just show up when scheduled for once?

I finish the progesterone on Tuesday and I sure hope that you don't take your sweet a$$ time getting here after that.  I take no responsibility for my actions if you don't show up in a timely manner!

Warmest Regards,

Mostly Worldess Wednesday

Here is where I wish I was right now...

(photo taken on our recent vacation to St. Lucia)