Funk

I have been in a funk for the past few weeks.  I think the reality of the surgery is scaring me a little bit.  The upcoming holidays are always tough for me.  Each year I think that this will be the last year that we are without kids.  Holidays mark the passing of time.  Almost 6 years since we started our journey to parenthood.  My niece and nephews also have birthdays coming up.  Another reminder of what I don’t have.  Don’t get me wrong- I love them dearly and wouldn’t ever want to imagine my life without them.  It’s just tough to see what I wish I had.

At the school I teach at we have the kiddos set goals each quarter.  It usually is a tough process for my sixth graders.  This year I decided I wanted to make it somewhat easier.  I decided that I would set a goal each quarter with them and that they could hold me accountable for it.  They loved the idea and embraced their own goal setting so much more.  (I am blessed to have a really great homeroom this year.)  My goal is to get my desk and instructional materials organized.  I posted it on my back bulletin board for all the kiddos to see each day.  Of course, I will also be staring at it as well!  I’ve already started working on it.  Yesterday I got my yearbook materials organized as well as cleaned out my “to be filed” bins.  Felt pretty good!  

Romeo is truly in his terrible toddler stage!  This week he started a new rotten behavior- taking food off the counter when we are not home.  On Monday he ate a bag of Nutter Butter cookies.  Then on Tuesday he ate a LOAF OF BREAD!  I learned my lesson and made sure nothing was left of the counter.  He was good on Wednesday and Thursday.  He really is a stubborn thing.  

I am blessed to have today off… for Veterans Day.  I am grateful to all of the veterans who have fought for my rights and freedoms.  I also remember my grandfather today and the amazing man he was.

Heading back to bed… it’s nice to be able to snuggle with Chris this morning!

A few Layouts

It's been awhile since I shared some layouts, so I thought I would share a few. These are two that I taught last weekend at a retreat. I am pretty happy with the way they turned out. The weekend was about proving that I am still alive and well in the scrapping world. More on that at a later date!

So, here they are:

We have a plan... we think!

After waiting over an hour, we finally met with the RE on Friday.  We talked about the options and he really feels that the most aggressive route would be the laparoscopy  and hysteroscopy.  We could also repeat the e-tegrity test using a mock FET protocol to see if it was the clomid that affected the results, but in the end we may need to consider the surgery.  He feels that there is a 70% chance that I do in fact have endo.  Gee... why hasn't anyone else looked into this?  UGH!  He also feels that we should do our final IVF as soon as possible after the surgery.  The studies have shown that IVF is most successful with endo patients right away... considering the concept that the endo is "gone" right after the surgery.  He said that I would be on bcp's for the three weeks after the surgery and then we would start the IVF.
 
DH and I had a long talk on the way to the RE's office.  Both of us are considering if enough is enough.  Chris is also ready to look into adoption, and I think that will be the next avenue we pursue.  In talking last night, we both feel that we "started" things with the e-tegrity test and would like to see it through.  So, I think we are going to go ahead with the surgery, pray that there is in fact endo, and do the final IVF.  I think we can both feel that we have done all that we are comfortable with once we have done that.  The RE did bring up surrogacy, and it is something that we will consider down the road.   He feels we are good candidates for that due to the fact that I always seem to have beautiful embryos.  It's something we will consider at some point.
 
I am hoping to schedule surgery for the Monday before Thanksgiving.  That way I only have to miss one instructional day with the kiddos and one day of conferences.  The RE seems to think that I could be back to work in a matter of days... but I think I will play it safe with a week.  So we'll see.  I am terrified of surgery... but it can't be much worse that everything else I have endured, right?

Quick update

Quick update…

Biopsy came back negative… which is not good in this case.  However, we finally have some kind of an answer to our struggle.  We are meeting with the RE on Friday to discuss our options.  Won’t go into much detail, but I am so frustrated that this test was not done 5 years ago.  All the time and money wasted.  I could just scream!

Another Busy Week

It’s been a busy week!  I have not been a good blogger this week!

Biopsy is over.  Not something I ever want to repeat, but I hope that it will give us some answers.  Had a great time driving to what felt like the other side of the state!  We did stop and get some Jamba Juice on the way home.  I sure wish we had those up here!

We also went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner that night.  It was the kick-off celebration for the YMCA Annual Campaign.  The campaign provides scholarships for families who would be unable to afford activities at the Y.  I encourage you to support your local YMCA!  Chris donates a portion from every check to this campaign because we really believe in the YMCA mission!

On the scrapping front, I was excited to find out that one of my layouts was chosen as layout of the day at the Scrapbook Playground!  You can see it here:  http://scrapbookplayground.com/pp331/showphoto.php?photo=7578&password=&sort=7&thecat=500
I have rediscovered this site and am loving everything!  It is a very friendly community.  They are also hosing another great contest.  Be sure to check it out!

I have several scrapping projects to finish up this weekend.  I am so thankful to have Monday off!  Chris is heading to a golf outing this morning.  It is rather chilly… and he doesn’t golf!  It’s a social activity for all of the swim team dads, so he has to go, right?  I think it just an excuse to hang out with some men.  But that’s fine by me.

I will be heading over to my aunt’s this afternoon.  They are having an open house for my cousin and her fiancé.  They just got engaged a few weeks ago.  Andy is active military and will be heading to Iraq soon, so my aunt and uncle had to throw together something quickly.  Kristen and Andy stopped by yesterday to see Chris and I.  It was fun hanging out with some “youngsters”

Better get something done!

Biopsy Today

So the biopsy is set for today.  It’s really strange.  We’ve been waiting to “finish” this last test since June and here it is.  I am nervous.  The last few procedures have ended up pretty painful.  Praying that this one won’t be.  We have to head to Naperville… Lord knows how long that will take us to get there.  I am so thankful that Chris will be going with me.  I couldn’t imagine doing it without him.  He reminds me that we are in this TOGETHER.  

I had to take a pregnancy test this morning before we go.  Seems strange to me… but they have to make sure that I am not pregnant.  After 5+ years of all of this you would think I would get over taking these darn tests.  There is a crazy little part of my brain that hopes I will see two lines.  Now the remainder, more “sane”, part of my brain knows how ridiculous that really is.  Just one line.

I have been tired the past few days.  Of course the hangover yesterday didn’t help much!  Yes, I know that I shouldn’t be drinking.  Don’t go there.  It was one of my closest friend’s birthday and it felt good to just let loose.  Some of my closest friends were there too… Chris and I had a great time.  I am so very lucky to work with such amazing women.  One of the reasons I stay at my school is because of the people.  

Romeo is going through another rotten phase lately.  He has been destructive again… he ate Chris’ hat from Hershey’s.  Chris was not a happy camper.  Whenever I am home alone with Romeo, he just doesn’t listen.  He listens so much more to Chris.  That’s the odd part… I spend so much more time with him.  I feed him.  I let him out.  I buy his treats.  Darn dog!  He really needs to get into an obedience class.  Just have to find the time.  I am a little afraid to take him by myself, but there is just no way Chris can fit it into his schedule.  

I will be teaching at a weekend retreat October 22nd.  It is an amazing weekend that Karolyn and Laura put together.  You can find out all about them at http://www.layitoutloud.com I will be doing two layout classes using Basic Grey- one with Skate Shoppe and another with Fusion.  Still working on the final details of the layout design.  If you are in the area, I highly recommend stopping in Lake Geneva for the scrapfair and classes!

10 Quirky Facts about Me

10 Quirky Facts about Me…

Inspired by a challenge on the Two Peas Board.  Thought I would jump in on it!

1. I have issues with textured food.  Can’t do tapioca pudding or small curd cottage cheese.  Forget rice pudding or couscous.


2. My middle name is Anne… I always thought that was funny since I have such an unusual first name.  I went by “Pati” for about 6 weeks in middle school.  Just didn’t fit!


3. I LOVE pens and pencils.  I could get lost in Office Max or Staples.  Luckily I have some good friends who share my passion.  Last year my good friend Bridget gave me an entire bag of office supplies.  I LOVED it!


4. I can’t watch scary movies.  AT ALL.  I end up having nightmares and flashbacks to the movie.  My DH has gotten used to this and understands.  He even warns me when a show might get too scary for me.  


5. Sometimes I have to look at my hands to tell Right from Left… (Your left hand makes an L.)  Just something that never really stuck in my head.  High IQ- no common sense sometimes!


6. I could get lost in a paper bag.  My sense of direction is NIL.  My mom always tells me to think about which way the Lake is… not really sure how that is supposed to help.  If I can’t see it, it won’t work.  I also hate when people give me directions and tell me to go “East.”  Tell me right or left, people!  


7. I am a bonafide geek.  I love learning new things and reading.  I am an information junkie.  When something happens in my life, I deal with it by gathering as much information as I can.  Makes DH crazy!


8. I am guilty of letting the dogs sleep in the bed with us.  I know it is not the right thing to do.  Yet, I can’t help looking at their puppy eyes and giving in!


9. I can’t swim.  Now this is the funny part… DH is a swim coach!  I have spent most of the past 10 years at swimming pools.  Yet, I have never learned to swim myself.  I can critique stroke and am even a level 1 official.  I couldn’t swim the 25 free if my life depended on it.


10. I love shoes… it really is a problem.  HOWEVER, the first thing I do when I get home is take them off.  Can’t stand having shoes on.  I guess they are just for show?